I think I have just caught my dh lying to me...

[Corrie4Ever]

I've changed my bname for this one, it seems pretty serious
DH went to London today for a work meeting. Said in the morning he "wouldn't be home till late, 9 or 10 pm".
"Why?" I said. "Those meetings never go on much past 5pm do they?" (is a 3 hour journey back to us, max)
"Oh, uh, no," says he, a bit flummoxed. "I suppose I'll be back more like 8ish then."
Thought no more of it. then got text at 7.50pm saying "some poor soul has jumped in front of the train, gonna be late"
Followed by "god I hate London!"
Then I rang him at 9pm and he said he was back out of London and had picked his car up at Basingstoke, and was driving home. I asked about the suicide, he said the train was sat on the rails for AGES while police investigated someone jumping under the train in front of him all this on the railway just between Waterloo and Clapham.
I begin to remember that earlier conversation this morning.
Look on the internet. No record of any such incident, delays, nothing.
Ring South West TRains, nothing happend at all...
He is still not back- what do you guys reckon??
WE have been together 8 years, 2dcs, never ever had any cause to suspect anything before...happily married...I think...

I agree that he isn't necessarily lying. I was once delayed on a train for 3 hours because trespassers were reported on the line. We had to stop and wait for BTP officers to join our train and then we travelled at about five miles an hour through a 20 mile section of track. We then had to wait whilst the BTP officers left the train at a station further up and did lord knows what before we could move on. I tried to find evidence online to claim for my work time but could find absolutely nothing anywhere.

My DP got the train from Vauxhall at about that time and heard announcements about delays due to a cable being set on fire. He's not the most observant person and it isn't a journey he normally takes but we've just worked out that it took him about 30 minutes to do a max 17 minute (including waiting time) journey.

suicides are never reported in media (to avoid encouraging other suicides, i've heard) so you won't find anything in the news.

It sounds perfectly plausible to me. I can't believe people are seriously suggesting snooping and trying to check his phone and credit card statements.

I'm suspicious. He lost THREE HOURS and the only time I've known a train on that stretch delayed for that long was when a snowstorm stopped all trains everywhere. I travelled Clapham Jct - Waterloo every day for 25 years. It's the busiest line in the country, a 3-hour delay would have caused backups all the way to the coast.

There's nothing in 'cleared delays' on SWT's website.

There could be some less frightening reason for the lie, but I think he lied :(

If you don't want to muddy your waters right now, Corrie, get your bits of evidence together anyway. Maybe print off your thread, find the ticket and do a quick check of his bank account for yesterday. Then put it all in an envelope with the date on it. If this happens again, you'll be able to back yourself up with tonight's wobble.

I hope it doesn't :) But, if this keeps bugging you, how about posting on Relationships? You should trust your instincts, you know! I reckon they're what prompted you to check up on the trains, so something's up. It's now a matter of whether you're ready to find out what it is ...
Wishing you well.

But the op was suspicious.

If my dh told me this I wouldn't even check up.

I may be naive.

But I think perhaps there is something she/they need to deal with? Without over reacting.

< nods to garlicbums superior knowledge>

Op, why don't you trust him?

I can just imagine how batshit dh would go if I presented an mn thread as evidence!

Just bloody ask him and tell him you'll be checking.

I meant as a memory-jogger for herself, not evidence! ( Imagines scenario )

I've been delayed because of trespassers, once for way over 2 hours.

It IS possible.

It sounds like he is telling the truth to me.
My husband works in the subway (underground), and they do not make news of a suicide public.

Perhaps in London it is the same?

I think you should stay quiet and look for evidence. If he is innocent, and you show distrust, you could hurt your marriage for nothing.
If this article is about the trains he takes, it seems they do have some problems with service. www.getwokingham.co.uk/news/s/2107848_10_ways_well_improve_train_services

I think I would be suspicious because he tried to set it up that he'd be late before he even left.

He tried saying it was due to a meeting. When you questioned that he flustered and backtracked. Then he was late anyway due to something out of his control.

I would have trusted the suicide story if the morning conversation hadn't happened.

I think you need to do something, because there are obviously problems between the two of you

BUT ... Don't trust the rail websites etc. I had to phone my mum and get her to collect my kids from nursery last week because my train was delayed by an hour. The website and the national rail phone app and everything all showed my train leaving on time, but I absolutely swear it didn't. If my mum checked up, it'd look like I was lying, but I really honestly wasn't ....

I'd bet pounds to pence that he wanted to have a drink with a few friends after work and the OP is the sort who kicks ff over that (based on this thead anyway).

I used to work in London, and the wife on the phone at 5.01 to make sure DP was on the way home was so common as to be stereootypical.

I agree with whatmeworry. The fact OP immediately questioned that the meeting should end at 5pm and she could have done with a hand with the kids makes me think he's sneaking off for a bloke beer. I work in an almost male dominated sector and I was staggered by the no of woman who having had kids all day saw it as the DH duty to rush home from work and help out and I saw every trick in the book they (the men) used to get out of it. You would be amazed at the no of men who have 'meeting/ client calls' around 5- 7pm which then would get them home by 8.30pm after their DC are washed and put in bed but still in time for dinner cooked by DW.

I'd be suspicious too. Like charlie said, he tried to set up the late homecoming that morning. The OP knocked that reason on the head and lo and behold, there's another reason why he didn't get home on time. Could be coincidence, but could be him lying. Combined with the masseuse card, I 'd be wondering.

Some people are casual liars. They will avoid the truth if it gives them a quiet life. Even if what they wanted to do in the first place, wasn't a bad thing. I think it is such a disrespectful thing to do - casual liars lose respect for the people they've lied to, because it was so easy to pull the wool over their eyes. They also tend to think they can do as they like, because the other person will never know. I would hate to think my dh was casually lying to me because it was easier than telling me the truth. Apart from anything else, it leads to suspicion from the partner.

OP, I would quietly investigate - tempting though it is to go and ask him, if he is lying, then next time he will cover his tracks more carefully and you'll never get at the truth.

The fact you couldn't find anything about a suicide means nothing - they're (sadly) pretty common on the london transport system and don't get reported. I wouldn't even rely on SW trains giving you accurate information.

However, because they are common the authorities are pretty swift at clearing them up to avoid delay - usually 30 mins tops.

The masseuse card is dodgy - it's hardly likely his brother brought it to your house and then it somehow fell out of his pocket and leapt onto your table.

My guess? He spent time with a hooker. Sorry.

Hold ups of over two hours and you get your money back on your ticket. Ask for the train tickets so you can claim a refund, then you don't have to admit to 'spying on him' but may find out what really happened!

I honestly think that this is being blown way out of proportion.

Frankly, if I was sneaking off and lying to DP, I would think up of a better reason which couldn't be checked and prove me to be a liar (not that I would sneak anyway)

These things don't always get reported quickly, especially where there is suicide. And I hardly doubt that they announced on the train that someone had committed suicide. It is more likely to be a passenger who had called someone, and rumours from the other line which had delays of having someone on the tracks has slightly been changed as they got passed from one passenger to the other.

In the morning, he probably was hoping for a drink after the meeting but as soon as OP made it basically known that she expected him home, he decided against it to save any trouble. Then ends up genuinely being caught up and getting in the shit anyway.

Or he could be cheating.

Talk to him.

Whatever happened to innocent until proven guilty?

But the op didn't just read the news, she phones the train company too and specifically asked of there had been any suicides/people on track/delays and there hadn't been.

phoned and if, bloody phone.

I agree with the first poster who said he was probably watching a football match...

Lots of football widows around at the moment!

Frankly, if I was sneaking off and lying to DP, I would think up of a better reason which couldn't be checked and prove me to be a liar (not that I would sneak anyway

I agree, thats why i think this is pub grade AWOL, not hooker grade. Plus the Streets of London are awash with beer after work, not semen.

This is something I learned recently - it's rather gruesome so if the subject troubles you in any way please don't read on.

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A fatality on a railway line causes the most horrific mess with small and large body parts strewn over a considerable distance. The railway authorities have a duty to ensure that every part of the body is recovered before they can allow service to resume on that line. Severe damage to the body and/or an environment which makes the search particularly difficult may cause the delay in reopening the line/station etc to be quite lengthy.