I think I have just caught my dh lying to me...

[Corrie4Ever]

I've changed my bname for this one, it seems pretty serious
DH went to London today for a work meeting. Said in the morning he "wouldn't be home till late, 9 or 10 pm".
"Why?" I said. "Those meetings never go on much past 5pm do they?" (is a 3 hour journey back to us, max)
"Oh, uh, no," says he, a bit flummoxed. "I suppose I'll be back more like 8ish then."
Thought no more of it. then got text at 7.50pm saying "some poor soul has jumped in front of the train, gonna be late"
Followed by "god I hate London!"
Then I rang him at 9pm and he said he was back out of London and had picked his car up at Basingstoke, and was driving home. I asked about the suicide, he said the train was sat on the rails for AGES while police investigated someone jumping under the train in front of him all this on the railway just between Waterloo and Clapham.
I begin to remember that earlier conversation this morning.
Look on the internet. No record of any such incident, delays, nothing.
Ring South West TRains, nothing happend at all...
He is still not back- what do you guys reckon??
WE have been together 8 years, 2dcs, never ever had any cause to suspect anything before...happily married...I think...

bank statments or money he took out of ATM? If he is buying something then there will be a paper trail.

Find train ticket and then look for the news report and check his reaction?

It might be nothing!

No I'm not going to be able to sleep, and I'm really not good at keepingn quiet about things, I usually very much wear my heart on my sleeve. Thank you all for your support...I will have to think carefully about what to do. It just really does feel like my very worst fears confirmed :(

Not talking about this to him won't make everything ok in your relationship. I'm sure you know this.

It's not really the norm to ring a train company to check out your husband's excuse for being late. The suspicion and the lack of trust is there - ignoring your feelings will do nothing positive for your relationship.

if you haven't mentioned it yet, keep quiet. find more evidence. find evidence also of his income and all assets and liabilities. deposit evidence with a relative who will not hand them over to him.

good luck.

I know elder and I agree, I hear you. I just don't feel like how I would have expected to feel ini such a circumstance. I am shaking and feeling physically very odd and even like I might be in shock...it all seems very unreal somehow. I just can't believe this is happening.
BTW he has popped in, said a very brief hello and is downstairs watching TV, which in itself is odd and not like him to want to chat (even though I said I was online ordering Tesco!)

If you're not up to confronting him tonight, can you take the opportunity tomorrow - assuming he will be at work - to do some snooping, see if anything else is thrown up? Check his car too.
But before you do anything, it sounds as though you should make the decision as to whether you actually want to know, as your posts suggest that you may not be prepared to take any action even if he is proved to be lying. That's an observation, not a judgement, please don't think I'm being harsh.

Oh god lovebunny, my poor kids...

You are right aftereight. My initial reaction is torn between wanting to know and not wanting to have him know I know. I just want everything to stay as it was...

OP, calm down.

There could be a perfectly reasonable explanation for this.

Ignore this Miss Marple shite advice on here and just have an adult chat...

Checking his ATM statement is very premature.

If you don't like what you hear, then investigate further.

Calm down OP!

So Sorry you are going through this, know that we are all behind you and here to support you how we can

Am I the only one reading this thinking 'maybe he's telling the truth'?

Seriously,slow down a bit.You're working yourself up into a state,and it may be totally innocent.Inventing a (checkable) suicide seems a bit extreme,if he was covering his tracks surely he could just say the train was delayed?

corrie, don't panic! you do well to be prepared, just in case. it might come to nothing.

but if you go in, even with a quiet word, you could start something that escalates before you're ready. rockets, in fact. better, as you are capable of it, to be calm and organised.

the trouble with having an 'adult chat' is that when they are caught out, they cease to be adults! be miss marple first, then have an adult chat, then think how silly you were to be worried (but keep the evidence just in case). xx

Before you go off at the deep end, have a look on twitter, I just have, and there are quite a few posts on there about delayed trains this evening..

Hiya corrie.

I've seen a lot of threads on here that have ended badly.

I've also seen the odd one that didn't.

I will cross my fingers this is one of them.

I have no helpful advice but you're getting waves of support from Scotland. Xx

Yes yes looked at twitter, some of the Waterloo trains def delayed about that time - rumour could have the reason wrong?

< optimist>

I'd investigate his phone and email.

It may not be sex, it may be quite simply that he wanted to meet a friend for a drink, in my experience that is far more common.

Do you give him a hard time if he does that sort of thing usually?

There was a person hit by a train at Maidenhead today which according to the map is between London and Basingstoke?

www.nationalrail.co.uk/managed/service-disruptions/sa0e52353eee4d49b0f300b42854159f/additionalMaps/Maidenhead.pdf

There was a person hit by a train tonight at Maidenhead, which had an effect on London Paddington.

I really think this is innocent,and your mind is running away with you.

I agree with those urging calm. Also not all train delays are reported, and "person under a train" is surprisingly common. If you work yourself up into a state you won't be able to handle it well and he'll feel defensive. It is a horrible feeling if you feel your partner doesn't trust you - unless he's stupid he'll know how you feel.

Hope it blows over and that it is nothing. Good luck OP

Anyway, there may not be any record of a person on the tracks.

I had a friend have to come back to mine one night because somebody was on the tracks, she had no way of getting home. Nothing in the papers the next day.

Wonder if her DP checked her phone/email/train tickets/bank statements etc...

Maidenhead incident would not impact a Waterloo to Basingstoke train. Sadly these incidents are very common, it might not even have been someone on the tracks and you may not be able to find a report about it, so I wouldn't take a lack of news as a sign of lying.

As bamboo says, a person might have TRIED to jump...that will slow things down and these things are not reported right away like trafficjams ffs! Stop making poor OP panic!

Hed have to be pretty crap to think up an excuse like that anyway!