to ask you all (especially fellow red-heads) what the hell i should do about this orange bridesmaid dress?

[mumofbumblebea]

cousin getting married. was asked to be bridesmaid about a year and a half ago and i was chuffed (love a bit of wedding fever). at the time the bride said "don't worry, i won't make you wear bright orange or pink or anything like that". fast forward a year and a half later and the bride has chosen orange bridesmaid dresses. now the other bridesmaids are all darker and thinner and taller than me and the dresses look beautiful on them. tried mine on as well at the weekend and i look like a bloody carrot. i said at the time (without wanting to upset the bride) that it wasn't a colour i would normally wear and i was a bit worried that it didn't suit me. she and the other bridesmaids insisted i looked lovely and apparently it won't clash as much if i have my hair in a bun . took a few pictures to see if it looked any better on camera and it looked even worse. have shown other people the pictures and everyones reaction so far has been "oh bloody hell". i'm going to have to pay £130 for this dress that looks hideous. we haven't paid for the dresses yet, am i unreasonable to give her a call tonight and explain that i really don't like the dress even though i know she loves them?
if IABU, any advice on how i can get away with wearing this dress?

Who in the name of jeff thinks 'oh I know, orange. That's flattering, easy to wear and definitely suits all skin tones!'

Could you maybe get away with some sort of cape or shrug in a contrasting colour that would take the orange away from your face? How about getting your make-up done?

I just think if orange is her colour and the dresses are ordered there's no way you can wear a different dress, but you may be able to tone it down a bit with accessories.

I'm no help. I would look like a jar of babyfood in an orange dress though.

I fear that this may not end well. Clearly cousin appears to have been captured by the Bridezillas. Otherwise why choose the one colour that she knows may not suit you and which she specifically said she wouldn't? I rather suspect it will be difficult for her to understand quite why you are reluctant to pay £130 in order to go to the wedding as a Carrot Impersonator so the option may be to wear it, keeping in mind that this is but one day of your life or politely resign from your bridesmaid duties. Or possibly have the sort of steaming row that is fuelled so effectively by bridal hormones. But I'd not recommend it.

Can we see the picture?

It's HER wedding - it's not about you and how great you will/will not look.

You could temporarily dye your hair, or just suck it up and get on with it.

I am sure the Bride will look fantastic.

oh come on OldGrey, I'm normally the first to agree it's about the bride but she's putting a ginger in an orange frock. Surely that's against the Geneva Convention?

(oh yes pic please...)

You look like a 'carrot'? Really? Oh dear.
I really don't know what to say. I think you're going to have to suck it up and wear it. Anything else may cause too much upset.

It's her wedding, so why do you have to pay for the bridesmaid dress?

My friend made her bridesmaids all dye their hair the same colour for the wedding. Be careful or your cousin might do similar!

I agree that it's HER wedding. But usually, when everything goes all matchy-matchy, there's an equal obsession with the wedding pictures reflecting the perfection of the day. Regardless of the fact that most of us are deeply imperfect, of course. So I'd have thought this bride would want all her bridesmaids to look and feel happy, confident and in flattering outfits.

Maybe some fab hair accessory (so long as its not green ) to tone down your hair a bit?

Why have you got to pay for your bridesmaid dress?

God awful. I'm only a bit red-headed and orange has to be the worst colour in the world for me. It brings out every red vein in my face, making me look blotchy and ill. It also seems to show up every bit of red in my eyes too, so I look like a hung-over vampire.

Can you put a dark rinse on your hair for the day and wear heavy foundation, or something

A bun and a net? Or a gigantic Camilla hat with no hair showing??

Sorry but I chuckled at the carrot bit. Say you're not happy. Worst she can do is kill you.

Can we see it?

I wouldn't pay £130 for an orange dress that made me look horrible. If the bride wants to pay, fair enough I would walk down the aisle feeling stupid but essentially having lost nothing except my dignity. But I would not pay £130 for that privelege. Tell the bride you will spoil her colour scheme and bow out gracefully. It sounds like she already has the full bridezilla posse so won't miss you.

BTW who makes their bridesmaids buy their own dresses?

Oh you poor thing. Just because it's her wedding doesn't mean you should have to wear something that will make you look awful! When I got married I let my bridesmaids all have joint final say on their dresses because I had been in your position of being a bridesmaid and absolutely hating my dress and feeling totally uncomfortable all day.

It's especially bad that you have to pay for a dress you hate! Be honest with her because you'll end up massively resenting it. However be prepared for her to say like it or lump it.

We need pictures

you would only look like a carrot if you had green accessories in your hair :grin:

not for all the tea in china would I wear orange ,what on earth possessed her ,if it were me I wouldnt be bridesmaid, end of .

Has she had the dresses specially made? Is there any chance you could back out of bridesmaid duties altogether?

Please get a really ott green fascinator to complete the look :o

As a fellow ginger, I sympathise. If I were you I'd start experimenting with those temporary wash-in, wash-out dyes and see how I looked as a faux-brunette!!

Changing the dress would be a massive ask IMO, no matter how horrible it is.... sorry. I'm sure the bride knows it's not something you want to have to do in any case and hopefully she'll acknowledge that it was a bit unpleasant towards you post-event.

And as for the rather expensive dress? Ebay

Paying for the dress? That's a bit odd. I would normally say you just got to get on with it, but I can see your point if your paying.

If you say something though she could well go nuts.

Could you dye your hair green? Then you will look like a proper carrot

Are you sure she hasn't done it on purpose so no one outshines her? You might have looked too good in other colours so that's why she chose orange

If all else fails, temporary hair dye and fake tan/make-up?
I (ginger) look worse in cream/pale yellow/beige

I'd wear the dress, no matter how hideous, if it was for a friend. It's only one day (not much consolation I know). Could you accessorise wildly or put a rinse on your hair or something like that? Sympathies!