Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask you all (especially fellow red-heads) what the hell i should do about this orange bridesmaid dress?

303 replies

mumofbumblebea · 06/06/2012 17:36

cousin getting married. was asked to be bridesmaid about a year and a half ago and i was chuffed (love a bit of wedding fever). at the time the bride said "don't worry, i won't make you wear bright orange or pink or anything like that". fast forward a year and a half later and the bride has chosen orange bridesmaid dresses. now the other bridesmaids are all darker and thinner and taller than me and the dresses look beautiful on them. tried mine on as well at the weekend and i look like a bloody carrot. i said at the time (without wanting to upset the bride) that it wasn't a colour i would normally wear and i was a bit worried that it didn't suit me. she and the other bridesmaids insisted i looked lovely and apparently it won't clash as much if i have my hair in a bun Confused. took a few pictures to see if it looked any better on camera and it looked even worse. have shown other people the pictures and everyones reaction so far has been "oh bloody hell". i'm going to have to pay £130 for this dress that looks hideous. we haven't paid for the dresses yet, am i unreasonable to give her a call tonight and explain that i really don't like the dress even though i know she loves them?
if IABU, any advice on how i can get away with wearing this dress?

OP posts:
Adversecamber · 07/06/2012 10:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
mumofbumblebea · 07/06/2012 10:30

no updates yet. she's working so going to call her tonight. definitely want to go to wedding but tbh think with 2 little ones i'd have more fun as a guest anyway. off to town and lunch with my friend and former bridesmaid (who had a beautiful navy blue, silk, non shiny or clingy dress at my wedding which i paid for not that i'm feeling a bit bitter or anything)

OP posts:
nutellaontoast · 07/06/2012 10:37

I'd be phoning the MOB with "I'm terribly sorry, but the bride decided it was best I drop out out BM duties as I can't afford £130 for a fucking hideousdress, and the extra for accessories. I'll still be there for you all to help out in any way I can for the wedding of course." Any financial, er, probing, and just say money's tight.

So, what dress will you wear instead?

nutellaontoast · 07/06/2012 10:38

strike-out fail Grin

JayelleBee · 07/06/2012 11:05

Could you wear a black or navy dress in the same style with a sash in the orange colour to tie-in with the other BMs? Or all BMs in the same dress but in different, co-ordinating colours ... I really like that :-)

WhosPickleisThatOnion · 07/06/2012 14:31

Let us know mum!!

I cant get my head around promising you no orange.

Stick to your guns. Humans should not be made to dress as carrots (and pay £130 for the privilege.)

CeliaFate · 07/06/2012 14:43

I hate this "it's my wedding I can do what the hell I want" attitude. If you want people to enjoy themselves, then be a good host and try and accommodate people!

OP, if the bride's mother says she'll pay for your dress, think of a response now!

theworldaccordingtome · 07/06/2012 14:44

fashionablyjust.com/2011/05/who-knew-orange-taffeta-could-eventually-make-you-sexy/

Here's an idea if you HAVE to wear the dress. Not sure whether they do UK but it's maybe worth looking.

Original poster
mumofbumblebea · 07/06/2012 22:26

couldn't get through on phone but got a text a few mins ago from brides mother saying she's not coming round and she'll see me in a couple of weeks (grandparents b'day). think i've got away with it.

OP posts:
mumeeee · 07/06/2012 22:34

Why are you paying for the dress? The bride usually pays for the bridesmaids dresses. Could you talk to your cousin again and tell her you are not happy with the colour.

SaggyCeratops · 07/06/2012 22:47

Phew! Now, quick, go out and do something amazing for someone, to cancel out the bad Karma caused by the totally justifiable whopper about the car! Grin

izzyizin · 07/06/2012 23:54

How does that translate to you having got 'away with it'?

If you're not seeing Bridezilla her for a couple of weeks it's probable your attendance in the monstrosity dress will be set in tablets of stone - as will the bill for the dubious privilege of wearing it.

bogeyface · 07/06/2012 23:59

Izzy the bride has agreed to her stepping down and the aunt is now no longer coming round to give the OP a hard time.

Sounds like she has gotten away with it to me, especially is the bride is ordering the dresses before the OP sees them, she wont order a dress that wont be paid for will she?

bogeyface · 08/06/2012 00:00

if not is

Krumbum · 08/06/2012 00:00

Yanbu but there's not much you can do tbh. I don't understand brides who just force the bridesmaids to wear all the same hideous dress. When I get married next year I want my bridesmaids (who are ppl I care about) to feel comfortable and enjoy the day. I'm fine with discussing colours with them and all the women wearing different styles that suit them as long as they are in the same theme.

Original poster
mumofbumblebea · 08/06/2012 17:40

quick update - saw bride today for a coffee, couldn't stand it anymore and wanted to get first meeting after conversation done with so to speak.
anyway it was really nice. she said she was sorry i coulddn't be bridesmaid but she understood and she admitted it was a lot of money to pay for a dress. i've offered to help set up on the day of the wedding so her and the bridesmaids can make themselves look gorgeous which she seemed really happy with that (god knows if i'll do it right though lol). feel relieved, all sorted :)

OP posts:
ViviPru · 08/06/2012 17:48

Well done. An excellent example of How To Do Life.

Panzee · 08/06/2012 17:49

Hooray! It all seems to have worked out fine. Glad you went for it and got it (kind of) out in the open, instead of having things fester.

I reckon the bride's mother saw the dress she had planned and understood immediately. :o

iloveACK · 08/06/2012 18:06

Well done. Glad it's worked out & now you'll be able to look fab & enjoy the day Grin

nutellaontoast · 08/06/2012 18:09

Woot! Encourage her to give you detailed instructions Smile

CrumpettyTree · 08/06/2012 18:57

Did the bride explain why she went for such a lurid shade of orange?
Although my bridesmaids wore light blue, which someone said upthread is awful for bridesmaids, so i guess there's no accounting for taste! :o

bogeyface · 08/06/2012 19:22

I am waiting for the update where most of the rest of the BMs drop out except the MOH who probably insisted on helped the bride choose that colour!

Pandemoniaa · 08/06/2012 19:45

Well done, OP. You've made the right decision and withdrawn from the Carrot Capers with dignity.

I am now wondering just how influenced I was by this thread when shopping for a dress to wear at a friend's wedding tomorrow. It's not entirely orange, admittedly...

Incaminka · 08/06/2012 20:34

Well done.
I made my bridesmaids wear dark green velvet sheaths.
Obviously, I paid, but we did discuss before (navy and deep red wete other options). I just wanted them to feel/look comfy on the day, but 20 years on, different man, I'd have fewer bridesmaids, 3 not 6, and they can wear what they want, just same flowers.