to ask you all (especially fellow red-heads) what the hell i should do about this orange bridesmaid dress?

[mumofbumblebea]

cousin getting married. was asked to be bridesmaid about a year and a half ago and i was chuffed (love a bit of wedding fever). at the time the bride said "don't worry, i won't make you wear bright orange or pink or anything like that". fast forward a year and a half later and the bride has chosen orange bridesmaid dresses. now the other bridesmaids are all darker and thinner and taller than me and the dresses look beautiful on them. tried mine on as well at the weekend and i look like a bloody carrot. i said at the time (without wanting to upset the bride) that it wasn't a colour i would normally wear and i was a bit worried that it didn't suit me. she and the other bridesmaids insisted i looked lovely and apparently it won't clash as much if i have my hair in a bun . took a few pictures to see if it looked any better on camera and it looked even worse. have shown other people the pictures and everyones reaction so far has been "oh bloody hell". i'm going to have to pay £130 for this dress that looks hideous. we haven't paid for the dresses yet, am i unreasonable to give her a call tonight and explain that i really don't like the dress even though i know she loves them?
if IABU, any advice on how i can get away with wearing this dress?

Yes, yes, we need a picture before we can possibly decide whether or not YABU...

Just how orange is it? I have a long silk dress in 'mango' colour and it looks fine on me (another redhead). I thought it would look horrible but it is nice.

Orange is an odd choice though...

4. Get horrifically drunk and cry about the dress throughout the ceremony, ripping it off entirely for the reception.

Spill tomato juice down the front and have to change?

"3) Wear this lady's hat."

In line with everyone else - IM (considerable) E with stuff of this ilk, it is acceptable for bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses with the understanding it will be a dress they play a part in choosing and will definitely wear again.

It is also acceptable for a bride to request that a bridesmaid wear a dress they might not particularly choose themselves (or even like), on the understanding that the bridesmaid is not required to pay for it herself.

I think these are widely accepted conventions.

Tell your bride that you're quite uncomfortable wearing the dress but understand that it's important to her so under the circumstances you'll wear it but you don't think it's fair to expect you to pay for it. Tell her Mumsnet Said so.

You could buy a black wig,

but don't be bullied into paying for the dress, big ask if you might wear it again ,but totally unacceptable if it doesn't suit you.

I am not red-haired, but I would look awful in orange. It's not a colour that suits many people!

I think she's very unreasonable to expect you to pay for a dress of her choice, especially one you hate and will never wear again. If she was paying, I'd maybe say just go along with it and wear whatever costume she wants, but if you're paying then surely you get a say in what you buy?

What's wrong with purple though? I wore purple for my wedding...

hi everyone can't link as they are been made by an independant shop local to us. trying to find something similar. tbh, they are actually nice dresses and the style is lovely, but the colour is foul. even my grandma who rightly thinks i'm wonderful said i looked like one of the mr men.
at my own wedding i chose a colour that everyone was happy with even though it wasn't my first or second choice (plus they didn't have to pay). i couldn't have chosen a colour or style that not everyone was comfortable with.
i know essentially i'll have to go along with it, and i'll probably just make light of it and try to avoid the other bridesmaids who look gorgeous .
tempted by a green fascinator though.

Is it really terrible? I thought I looked terrible in yellow (also ginger) but recently have been told by people that it's really flattering on me. Maybe it's not quite as bad as you think?
Although, YADNBU to not want to spend £130 on a dress you hate. Of she expects you to buy your own, it should either be something you like or at least more reasonably priced.

www.bestdressmall.com/fashion-onepiece-simple-discount-orange-vneck-dropped-waist-orange-bridesmaid-gown-av245-p-1455.html
this is not the dress but the same colour

i tried it on thinking, "ok, lets give it a chance, see how it goes..."
it was worse than i imagined

Everyone will think you're a fan of the Holland football team .

I'd dye my hair for the day and adjust my makeup.

That's hideous!

Could you accessories with a green feathery fascinator? If the bride is determined to make you wear a colour you expressly asked not to, then the least you can do is have some fun!

Hmm. Did you know about the £130 quid bill when you agreed to be a bridesmaid? Were you expecting to get a dress you could wear again? If you were happy to pay the money and only wear the dress once, then the only issue here is that you feel the dress won't suit you. Is that really such a tragedy? Everyone will know that it was the bride's choice, not yours. Or are you single and were hoping to pull at the wedding? If that's not a factor, who really cares if you don't look that great? You'll be part of the themed pictures and people will appreciate your contribution to the colour effects. Think of it like a costume rather than a dress, drink as much champagne as possible to get your 130 quid's worth, buy her a present that she won't really like and have a lovely day

CockyPants, you sound nice.

What kind of sadist thinks orange is a good idea? It looks beautiful on a very few people. What a wally.

Out of interest, would it suit her? Is that why she has chosen it?

'carrot' 'mr men'

BTW - I am dark-haired and orange in moderation suits - but not that colour all over. I think a lot of white near your face is the only think that will tone it down. Also

Resign as bridesmaid if you will feel uncomfortable. Just do it nicely.

To give you my true thoughts, I too, need to see photos.

I have to agree with those who feel the bride is being Bridezilla. It's manifestly a v. selfish thing to do.

Gosh. That's very, very orange, isn't it?

I know someone who did choose "hot" colours for her bridesmaids, these including pink and orange. But they all had a choice of colour and went for what they looked nicest in. The overall effect was lovely but helped no end by all the bridesmaids loving their dresses. Not feeling like they needed to stand as far away as possible from the buffet lest someone think they were a decorated vegetable.

Refuse to buy it and refuse to wear it. Sick of bridezillas. My DB is marrying a Chav who is going down the purple route. She has chosen the tackiest bridesmaid stuff going. And chucking her ample weight around. Sorry love but a diet bar isn't going to be enough....

cockypants You sound really classy.