to ask you all (especially fellow red-heads) what the hell i should do about this orange bridesmaid dress?

[mumofbumblebea]

cousin getting married. was asked to be bridesmaid about a year and a half ago and i was chuffed (love a bit of wedding fever). at the time the bride said "don't worry, i won't make you wear bright orange or pink or anything like that". fast forward a year and a half later and the bride has chosen orange bridesmaid dresses. now the other bridesmaids are all darker and thinner and taller than me and the dresses look beautiful on them. tried mine on as well at the weekend and i look like a bloody carrot. i said at the time (without wanting to upset the bride) that it wasn't a colour i would normally wear and i was a bit worried that it didn't suit me. she and the other bridesmaids insisted i looked lovely and apparently it won't clash as much if i have my hair in a bun . took a few pictures to see if it looked any better on camera and it looked even worse. have shown other people the pictures and everyones reaction so far has been "oh bloody hell". i'm going to have to pay £130 for this dress that looks hideous. we haven't paid for the dresses yet, am i unreasonable to give her a call tonight and explain that i really don't like the dress even though i know she loves them?
if IABU, any advice on how i can get away with wearing this dress?

Admittedly I got married a long time ago, but is it normal to make bridesmaids pay for their own dresses? If so, you should have some input into what you wear. I wouldn't have dreamed of asking my bridesmaids to pay for their dresses, even though I was on a really tight budget, and I did choose a colour that flattered them YANBU

Oh dear. Black wrap?

There is no way on earth, I would pay for a dress that looked hideous. If she wants it, then she should pay for it.

I would stand down as BM and spend the wedding wearing something nice, that you've actually chosen.

Can't you tell her that you misunderstood the £100 thing - as in your experience and that of everyone else you know who has ever been married / a bridesmaid, the bride pays for the dresses if she wants to choose the specific shade and style - and you simply can't afford £130 for a dress that won't suit you and that you'll never wear again?

It doesn't matter if its her wedding - you don't ask bridesmaids to spend £130 on a dress.

If you dictate the dress - you pay for it.

I'm so pale you can see my veins and I had to wear a shimmery turquoise satiny dress when I was a BM. I felt so uncomfortable all day and look awful in the photos (the other BMs were blonde and tanned).

I'd call her and say that you're thinking of emigrating/trying for a baby/anybloodyotherexcuse to get out of the role?

Good luck.

Haven't read other posts but why Are you paying for the dress???

we aren't allowed black or white accessories. tried talking about that at the shop but i'll probably forget by wedding
maybe, if i give them enough junk food, DDs might be a bit "poorly" on it and ill have to change into something else???
but i know thats evil.
i could get pregnant again? this is not the sort of bride that would want a pregnant bridesmaid... i'll just worry about where to keep the baby at a later date.

I hate all this 'it's her day' rubbish- you can't expect someone to pay that amount of money on a dress they don't like.

Madness.

would anyone like to call the bride and say i can't be bridesmaid whilst i emigrate?

Can't see the link as on phone!! Can someone please repost as a link I could click pleaseee? I need to see before I can judge comment :o

Could you imply some financial problem that means that you are really sorry but you cant afford the dress accessories etc and feel that it is only fair that you step down?

Blimey that is orange, how many bridesmaids?

You are going to look like a row of traffic cones.

Omg! That colour is awful!! I can't think of a single person that might look ok in that shade of ORANGE...
I wouldn't wear it, and most definitely, I would not pay £130 for it!

www.bestdressmall.com/fashion-onepiece-simple-discount-orange-vneck-dropped-waist-orange-bridesmaid-gown-av245-p-1455.html

Sorry, should be a comma between dress and accessories!

Or some escaped prisoners from an American jail

yay i posted a link
that's just the colour not the actual dress.

The colour of Easyjet, no? Classy. However on the upside I cannot see how the others will be able to look ravishing either. The Dutch football side, a bunch of carrots or a set of traffic cones just about has it.

Wow RobinScherbatsky

Wind yer neck in luv - it's a manner of speaking is all! You want to watch that blood pressure of yours - wouldn't want your head to come spinning off whilst you imagine that everyone is casting aspersions on your father's funeral!

i've decided! the car has broken down and it has cost us a bloody fortune to fix it. just can't spare the money. will have to get a lovely h by henry holland dress i've had my eye on instead!
i'm too old for this bridesmaid malarky

At the very least, as revenge you could keep referring to the ceremony, her, the bridesmaids as "Easywedding", "Easybride", "Easymaids" etc!

OP, forgot to ask... What on earth did you do to piss her off so badly?! :)

fireandashes
right kids in bed (albeit not asleep), time for a glass of wine then i'm making the phone call...(should i or should i not have DH cursing the "f'ing car" in the background?? too much?)

Resign. Or ask her to pay. Don't be a wimp.