to ask you all (especially fellow red-heads) what the hell i should do about this orange bridesmaid dress?

[mumofbumblebea]

cousin getting married. was asked to be bridesmaid about a year and a half ago and i was chuffed (love a bit of wedding fever). at the time the bride said "don't worry, i won't make you wear bright orange or pink or anything like that". fast forward a year and a half later and the bride has chosen orange bridesmaid dresses. now the other bridesmaids are all darker and thinner and taller than me and the dresses look beautiful on them. tried mine on as well at the weekend and i look like a bloody carrot. i said at the time (without wanting to upset the bride) that it wasn't a colour i would normally wear and i was a bit worried that it didn't suit me. she and the other bridesmaids insisted i looked lovely and apparently it won't clash as much if i have my hair in a bun . took a few pictures to see if it looked any better on camera and it looked even worse. have shown other people the pictures and everyones reaction so far has been "oh bloody hell". i'm going to have to pay £130 for this dress that looks hideous. we haven't paid for the dresses yet, am i unreasonable to give her a call tonight and explain that i really don't like the dress even though i know she loves them?
if IABU, any advice on how i can get away with wearing this dress?

You wear a furry carrot outfit with matching turnip clutch but only if she pays.

I would tell her it looks awful and will make her wedding photos look stoopid so you can't be a dressed up bridesmaid but you will happily do all the bridesmaid job type things. THen spend the £130 on a fab dress

To all those saying she should wear the dress and dye her hair etc, have you noticed that she has to pay 130 pounds for the dress?

As others have said, if I wasn't paying for the dress I'd wear it, but I think it's a bit rich to expect you to pay a lot of money for something that you feel really doesn't look nice on so YANBU

Can you link to the dress?

She should be paying for the dress if she wants to choose it.

What about having a fake tan, and seeing if you can wear a shawl of some sort over your shoulders. Breaking up the colour might help.

I'm baffled as to what she plans to co-ordinate the orange dresses with! As for wearing the dress for a friend, the bridezilla bride-to-be knows how the OP feels about the dress colour (which is a colour that would only ever suit very few people) and I think she's being incredibly unfair. Why would you want your friend to feel so uncomfortable?!

I think it's wrong to expect people to pay for their own bridesmaids dress, and particularly wrong to expect them to pay for it if they didn't even have a say in choosing it.

Honestly I don't know what this country has come to. It never used to be like this in my day.

Although when my DSis got married she picked a truly foul colour and style for the BMs (one of which was me) and I honestly could not have looked worse in a frock if I'd tried. Everything about it was wrong for my shape, height and colouring. But the day wasn't about me, and I didn't have to pay for it, so I sucked it up and looked like a dirty bronze coloured sack of spuds-

As you are paying , yanbu.

I would also wear the dress and make light of it with the people who matter to you! for example, make it known to all that you think 'orange' isn't exactly flattering but if that's what she wants etc...
Enjoy it even though the BTB should have asked for opinions.

My friend had her bridesmaids in varying shades of beige, brown and fawn...she wore white...looked bloody gorgeous it did. They looked like a gang of wood nymphs...why can't ALL brides be sensible?

All of you saying you would wear the dress are mad! I would flat out refuse. Orange! I'd rather not be a BM than look like a giant tangerine.

(You may have guessed that I cannot carry off orange...)

I'm seeing a fluffy green fascinator.

A friend of mine wore a white dress with a very neat black ribbon around the waist, with bright pink roses in her bouquet and the bridesmaids were all in black, with the pink roses. If you'd asked me what I thought of black for BMs I'd have said but it looked fantastic, and suited everyone.

Oh she just can not expect you to pay £130 for even a nice bridesmaid dress let alone a horrid one.

I dont think you are being unreasonable. Why would she want you to feel uncomfortable? Thats just nasty really.

i think i would do what a couple of people have said above, say you have shown a couple of people the pics and they have confirmed your fear it looks awful.

If there is absolutely no getting out of it, i would get a swatch of the fabric and take it with you to a professional make up artist and see if they can help you do your make up so that it 'tones' as well as possible, and possibly, depending on your shade of ginger (i.e. blondy tones or firery tones) get highlights or lowlights or something to tone down your hair.

I think the bride is being very mean. I don't care if it is 'her' day, surely she wants everyone to enjoy it and feel comfortable.

To be fair we saw some lovely orangey brides maid dresses in orange. But to put a ginger haired lady in one is the height if cruelty. The pinnacle. And make them
Pay for it! Feel your pain!

I think if I thought I looked seriously horrific in the dress, I would have to say something. I certainly would not be paying over £100 for an item of clothing I hated so much. Is there anything at all about the dress that would be rescuable?!

Unless this was someone massively close to me, I would consider dropping out of being a BM.

It would be different if the bride was funding the dresses, which tbh I think she should anyway.

White wrap around your shoulders is your answer. If bride pulls a face, then just don't wear it for the ceremony. Say you were worried about getting cold...

No don't buy a wrap or special make up - tell her you will not be spending £130 on a horrid dress you will never wear again.

The bride pays for bridesmaid dresses especially when she chooses them.

I have red hair and orange really suits me. I cannot imagine the horror of an orange bridesmaid dress though, do you mean as in long and satin-y?

Tbh I would wear it and suck it up but there is no way on gods earth I would pay for it.

Well if she has chosen orange dresses, she has probably tied an awful lot of other things in with this colour, possibly invitations, table decorations, wedding favours, etc. It's her big day, so you either suck it up, grin and bear it, or politely decline to be bridesmaid.

I'm on my phone so can't be arsed to link, but a google images search of 'orange bridesmaids dresses' ain't pretty. In fact they look worse the longer you look at them, sorry.

We neeeeeed a link!!

Yes PLEASE link/picture OP. Pretty please

OP, I think your choices are, in order of recklessness:

1. Politely resign as bridesmaid
2. Dye your hair temporarily
3. Wear this lady's hat.

Refuse to buy it and refuse to wear it. Sick of bridezillas. My DB is marrying a Chav who is going down the purple route. She has chosen the tackiest bridesmaid stuff going. And chucking her ample weight around. Sorry love but a diet bar isn't going to be enough....
OP you have my empathy and sympathy.

Please wear the hat!!!!!