to ask you all (especially fellow red-heads) what the hell i should do about this orange bridesmaid dress?

[mumofbumblebea]

cousin getting married. was asked to be bridesmaid about a year and a half ago and i was chuffed (love a bit of wedding fever). at the time the bride said "don't worry, i won't make you wear bright orange or pink or anything like that". fast forward a year and a half later and the bride has chosen orange bridesmaid dresses. now the other bridesmaids are all darker and thinner and taller than me and the dresses look beautiful on them. tried mine on as well at the weekend and i look like a bloody carrot. i said at the time (without wanting to upset the bride) that it wasn't a colour i would normally wear and i was a bit worried that it didn't suit me. she and the other bridesmaids insisted i looked lovely and apparently it won't clash as much if i have my hair in a bun . took a few pictures to see if it looked any better on camera and it looked even worse. have shown other people the pictures and everyones reaction so far has been "oh bloody hell". i'm going to have to pay £130 for this dress that looks hideous. we haven't paid for the dresses yet, am i unreasonable to give her a call tonight and explain that i really don't like the dress even though i know she loves them?
if IABU, any advice on how i can get away with wearing this dress?

The bride is NBU to choose orange but it is a little inconsiderate.

However she is BVU to make you pay 130 for a dress you havent chosen and will make you look ghastly.

Dye your hair cadbury purple on the day.

What would be the likely outcome if you asked to bow out gracefully? I can't think of a single thing worse than having to spend a day in something that didn't suit me and made me unhappy in every way. I feel for you.

MsKittyFane
Squeezing bridezillas into cheap purple satin is a criminal offence.

I would resign. There is no way that I would pay for the privilege of feeling stupid!

Wearing horrible BM dresses is fine, if you are not paying for it, but £130 is outrageous, especially when you can hire a perfectly good carrot outfit for £30 :o

DD has dark ginger hair and often wears orange, it's violet, baby girl pink and pale peach that look awful on her. Proper purple, red, deep green or magenta are fine.

However it depends on your skin tone, I can't wear true red, much as I love burgundy and wine colours, proper scarlet brings out every pimple spot and imperfection and makes me look ill.

I think you could look very striking, but have to confess that a shiny full length bridesmaids dress may be rather harder to take than DDs orange T shirt and jeans.

Absolutely no way I would pay for the dress in that colour! Redheads and orange will never never go together with a good result- I learnt that years ago! Either back out or refuse to pay otherwise you will just resent the whole experience which doesn't help anyone! Good luck handling the BTB

Wow. That really is ORANGE isn't it. It's not like, a nice burnt orange, or sunset orange, it's ORANGE orange. What are the other colours in her scheme? Sometimes it's nice to have the bridesmaids in the same dress but different colours, maybe suggest that?

Or, just hope the photographer does all your shots in black and white.

My friend did the same to me..... The dress was 'peach' and akin to a sack. My hair is a bit like Rebekah Brooks'. I got so pissed during the reception, that I fell over in the official photos that followed (what fool has photos after the free wine and champers?).

cockypants you sound charming...

I really do think you're going to have to just wear it. It's very orange.

Did you know you were going to have to pay because that is very very unusual

with paying for the dresses, when asked to be a bridesmaid the bride said that she would pay £100 for the dresses. i took that as meaning she would pay for our dresses with a £100 limit but as i found out in the shop at the weekend what she meant is that she would pay £100 towards the cost of them and we would have to fork out the rest. the dresses actually cost £230! we didn't get a say in the style, we were just told these are what we are having. we are also sorting out our own hair and make up and accessories. the dresses haven't been ordered yet, i tried on a sample which was a bit too small (not that anyone would notice that in that colour). we have to pay the deposit when we order them.

Lentilly, you "can't think of a single thing worse" than wearing a dress that doesn't suit you? Seriously? Wow. Actually maybe you're right, I do recall now that the skirt I wore to my Dad's funeral was a bit unflattering, really took the shine off the day for me.

Get some fucking perspective.

£230? Stand down. At least the dresses haven't been ordered yet.

Aaahhh so they're not ordered yet?

Well then tell her you can't wear it happily, you'll be uncomfortable and you look like a carrot. Tell her £130 is a lot of money for a dress you dislike so intently. And suggest a different colour with maybe an orange accent (if she's so obsessed with orange).

If he says no, she likes it, she wants it, and she still wants you to be bridesmaid, then suck it up for the sake of family relations.

OOOoooo poor you OP!!

There is no happy ending to this problem, wear it = oh dear... don't wear it = bride melt down.

:(

I didnt even pay £230 for my wedding dress! SIBVVVVU

Brides who choose the dresses should pay for the dresses.

Tell her that hot colours on the bridesmaids will cause the bride to fade into the background in all the pics.

If that doesn't put her off then you need to look at damage limitation!

What kind of red are you, and what is your skin tone?

Orange? Bloody orange on a ginger? Are you going to bow out?

Oh you just have to come up with some reason as to why you can't be a bridesmaid any longer.

DIE!!

Sorry. I mean dye? Could you dye the dress afterwards? Black maybe so you can keep it for funerals.

It's her wedding. Can you dye your hair a temporary colour?

Perhaps ask if you can change out of the dress the minute the pictures are finished?

Quick my hair is more of a reddish-ginger but next to this dress it does look bright orange. my skin has yellowish undertones.
i agree a burnt orange wouldn't have been great but not as terrible.
maybe i did something to piss her off...
i think my only option is damage limitation.