to ask you all (especially fellow red-heads) what the hell i should do about this orange bridesmaid dress?

[mumofbumblebea]

cousin getting married. was asked to be bridesmaid about a year and a half ago and i was chuffed (love a bit of wedding fever). at the time the bride said "don't worry, i won't make you wear bright orange or pink or anything like that". fast forward a year and a half later and the bride has chosen orange bridesmaid dresses. now the other bridesmaids are all darker and thinner and taller than me and the dresses look beautiful on them. tried mine on as well at the weekend and i look like a bloody carrot. i said at the time (without wanting to upset the bride) that it wasn't a colour i would normally wear and i was a bit worried that it didn't suit me. she and the other bridesmaids insisted i looked lovely and apparently it won't clash as much if i have my hair in a bun . took a few pictures to see if it looked any better on camera and it looked even worse. have shown other people the pictures and everyones reaction so far has been "oh bloody hell". i'm going to have to pay £130 for this dress that looks hideous. we haven't paid for the dresses yet, am i unreasonable to give her a call tonight and explain that i really don't like the dress even though i know she loves them?
if IABU, any advice on how i can get away with wearing this dress?

BBMs it must be because i'm the fit cousin (forgetting the stretch marks, pasty skin and wobbly bits)

She might offer to loan you the money and you can pay her back!

It's a truly hideous colour.

Oh for the love of god, that colour is heinous.

reportmenow i couldn't let her do that when she is paying over £20000 for her wedding plus £5000 for her honeymoon...she must be skint after all

report makes a good point, so say that you cant commit to that as the way the bloody car is you might need to buy a new one and you couldnt afford that aswell!

Fucking hell if she can afford to pay £25k out on the whole thing the least she can do is buy the BMs dresses! Bloody cheek.

mumofbumblebea, I knew it was jealousy!! Otherwise, why the hell would anyone want that colour on your wedding pics?
I can call her in you behalf ;)

HerMajesty no comment but that has been going round my mind

My chief bridesmaid is beautiful, and also a redhead, I tried to put her in a pale sage green dress, thinking it would be flattering.

She gave me very short shrift, chose her own dress at double the price, but paid for it herself, which meant I could buy the other bridesmaid dress in a matching style but different colour and they both looked amazing and felt really comfortable on the day.

Sorry, that's no help, except that you can say, no to orange, request same dress different colours same tone?

Are you certain this isn't a joke?

That is a horrible horrible colour for a dress, especially for a red head.

The bride must want to be sure that the bridesmaids look terrible so that she can outshine them completely.

Difficult to get out of wearing it though, without causing a major incident. The bride is unlikely to admit she's being unreasonable, even though she obviously is. She should be paying for the bridemaid dresses if you're not getting a say on them.

Colour-blindness in women is rare, but in a bride and all her bridesmaids, well what are the odds?

Good luck with the phone call, although this way you still get to wear the dress...

YABU. As a bridesmaid, you wear exactly what you're asked to wear, without comment. We've all been there :o

Yeah, but Step, do you also pay for the privilege of looking like a carrot?

Not if you're paying for the dress stepoutifspring.

Yes, as a bridesmaid, you do wear what you're asked without comment if the bride is paying the whole cost.

StepOut maybe...
but on the other hand, what shall i say is wrong with the car? it has to be really expensive...

Only thing is it's going to be difficult for the bride to outshine a dress you can see from space.

I do feel your pain OP.

This whole thing is the WRONG WAY AROUND. You need to set a new trend.

Currently, brides choose the bridesmaids first and then choose the bridesmaids' dress. Which is hideously unfair to most of the bridesmaids. And it is practically impossible to choose a dress that suits all bridesmaids.

So here's the new trend idea. Brides should first choose the bridesmaids dress, and only after they have chosen the dress, should they choose bridesmaids (who will suit said dress).

It's too late for you now, of course but we can fix it. I'll substitute for you OP. Orange and yellow are pretty well the only colours I can still wear.

FWIW, I agree with those who think that if she's paying you wear it, but if you're paying, then no way!
Good luck - hope the phone call goes / went well

It'll involve stripping down the engine, whatever it is.

Why are you paying for your bridesmaids dress? The bride is taking a massive piss.

I would pull out, on account of the expensive dress, and the horrid colour.

I wouldn't wear it. I certainly wouldn't pay for it. You'll just have to say that you can't be a bridesmaid. Orange/Red tones just bring out the absolute worst in my complexion.

Of course, you could fake tan yourself so your skin matches your dress AND hair

Don't say there is something wrong with the car. Just be honest. Tell her you had understood that she was going to buy a dress that cost 100 not that you were going to have to make up the difference. And that you really can't afford 130 for a dress anyway but especially not one that you will never wear again. It may also help to remind her that she had promised not to chose an orange dress!

Then offer the compromise - you are happy to wear the dress as long as she pays for it. If she cannot afford to do this you understand and you will bow out of being a bridesmaid.

If you lie she may find a way round it like offering to lend you the money / asking your mum to lend you the money since it is a family wedding.

Honesty is the best way

Quintessential i don't know why we're paying. i assume a cost-cutting option.
i really want the henry holland dress. i would look lovely as a wedding guest in it.

The head gasket has gone, leaking fluid into the engine. The whole engine needs replacing and most likely the brakes too, though you are not too sure of the finer details. :)
When you said orange, I didn't know you meant that orange- wow!