Was I unreasonable here.

[Yummymummyyobe1]

I was going to name change for this but don't think it is necessery. Anyway here goes.

My DP, me and our DS1 live in quite a nice area. We are on first name terms with the three neighbours to the left of us and are quite friendly you know the sort of thing popping in for a cuppa, and neighbourhoog get togethers as well as lists of contact number and spare keys to one anothers homes.

Anyway to the right hand side there are how do I put this delicately?? a couple of properties where the famliy's/tenants are less then salubrious police visits are numerous and their genral behaviour is frightful for example their children seem to think it is more than acceptable to trespass on private property by climbing over the wrought iron work and playing chase across the four front gardens.

So today my DP and his father popped out for an hour whilst I stayed in with our DS1 whist he napped. Anway the door bell went and as bold as brass a member of the family to the right had the audacity to knock on the scrounge. We had just had a delivery of baby related items a new supply of nappies and formula you know the sort of thing. She stood on the doorstep and asked if I had some spare baby formula and nappies as they were sort this week. I politely said we didn't (a small white lie a know) anyway after this she stood there and asked if I was sure, as we have a small baby ourselves. At this my blood began to boil a little as no should mean no and not a chance to negotiate.

Anyway after storming down our front path and slamming the gate closed I overheard her say something about people like them. Ha what a nerve I think she has that very wrong and how we would help the people to the left (which I would as they put their famlies and children first).

The reason I said no are as follows:

1. They all have mobile phones
2. Most of them smoke
3. They always have a drink in their hand
4. Have Sky

under normal circumstances not an issue but if you can not afford to look after your child then some if not all the above are not needed, and surely any parent would put their child first before luxury items.

Was I unreasonable to turn her down based on the above grounds or should I have helped?

Thanks xx

Are manners a mark of character? Or are they, in fact, entirely subjective?

Because seriously, most Europeans think British people are bloody odd and arselicky for going around going "please please please sorry sorry" all the time.

MeCook, how is it? She looked like a chav and her words were 'here, av ya got a tampax?'. And says the one who suggest ringing social services to claim some nappies! Weird

I would have given her a cup of formula and a couple of nappies 'to tide her over until she went to the shop'.

yellowraincoat - yes I know the brits can be overpolite but I also think manners generally make life a bit nicer and can ease difficult situations such as the one in the OP and as shown can make the difference in how you are treated.

I'm not talking about extreme obsequiesness (I know thats spelt wrong!) but maybe if the neighbour has just said 'hello, sorry to disturb you on a bank holiday but I'd be really grateful if you could lend me some nappies as I've run out. I'll be getting some on monday and will give them back to you then' perhaps she would have got what she asked for.

How would you have asked for nappies then?

thatisall We would know in advance that we were running out and nipped out to buy supplies to tide us over.

angelicstar well said re politness and the whole tresspassing. If our neighbours had been a little less agressivd in their approach and appologised for the children's behavious then perhaps I would feel I little less angry.

topknob there was no talk of reimbersment what so ever.

JambalayaCodfishPie if that is the case then why did our other neighbours and ourselves have a lovely day having a delayed street party in the garden and are all off out for the day on Friday.

angelicstar again thank you for pointing out the detail that is was a pack of nappies.

xx

WhiteWidow, you intentionally ignoring the fact that she could have gone to a church or a charity, as I mentioned in the same post you selectively quote?

And your circumstances are different to OPs. You apparently don't care much for manners, and I'm sure even a bloke would have given money to a girl in the street in need of tampax.

Were the scrounging family invited to the street party?

MeCookGoodSock Thank you once again.

I'm not too sure usualsuspect as it was arranged by another neighbour who dare I say have had issues with said family. They were not there but may have refused.

xx

Sorry but what flipping planet are you on and where do you live?!

Go to the sodding church??? Charity?! You do realise they'd do sod all.

She wanted some nappies to get her through that day, so she thought she'd ask her neighbours. Who yano, are supposed to be neighbourly. Why on earth would she go to a charity, haven't you ever borrow sugar from a neighbour?

And what's that supposed to mean 'even a bloke'

The more and more I talk to you the more you make me think you're not all there.

Did they look through the iron railings with sad faces at your cupcakes and bunting?

angelicstar I'd probably have said roughly the same as you, but if someone else just said "do you have some nappies I could borrow?" I'd have given them the nappies.

I don't really care about arse licking politeness, as I said.

No I have never borrowed anything from a neighbour. A friend fed my family for me once though when my cupboards were bare and I was stoney broke.

I'm from this here planet. And I live near London. And I'm no longer up financial shit creek. I still wouldn't have the gall to ask a neighbour I've ignored in all the time they've been a neighbour for anything!

usualsuspect we did not see sight nor sound of them and it was in the back so no wrought iron just a stone wall. xx

Oh Please whitewidow. I'll ignore you from now on.

Please do!

OP, bless your heart, I think you should stop now...! It is evident that you think you were right (which's fair enough) but I'm genuinely starting to feel sorry for you now with all the baiting..

Id say a girl asking a bloke for a tampax needs some help, and not in the form of a few quid either

yellowraincoat I would have given things freely if we had been on better terms with them and there had been some respect there.

MeCookGoodSock I do rather like the idea of my own planet You sound very normal to me.

xx

I'd say I see a lot of entitled people here who believe their neighbours must provide simply because they had the gall to ask.

It wasn't a few nappies- it was a whole flipping pack!

so someone asks for a pack of nappies, you dont have to give them a pack!

Yummymummyyobe1 Thanks, I am. I take the insult from whence it comes and move on.

The OPs taking it all well tbh, I admire her for that.

Yes but I think the fact she asked for a whole pack points to her being more scroungey than needy.

If you genuinely just needed a few nappies to tide you over till you could get to the shops you wouldnt ask for a whole pack unless you were grabby and pushing your luck so I think it is quite significant.