Was I unreasonable here.

[Yummymummyyobe1]

I was going to name change for this but don't think it is necessery. Anyway here goes.

My DP, me and our DS1 live in quite a nice area. We are on first name terms with the three neighbours to the left of us and are quite friendly you know the sort of thing popping in for a cuppa, and neighbourhoog get togethers as well as lists of contact number and spare keys to one anothers homes.

Anyway to the right hand side there are how do I put this delicately?? a couple of properties where the famliy's/tenants are less then salubrious police visits are numerous and their genral behaviour is frightful for example their children seem to think it is more than acceptable to trespass on private property by climbing over the wrought iron work and playing chase across the four front gardens.

So today my DP and his father popped out for an hour whilst I stayed in with our DS1 whist he napped. Anway the door bell went and as bold as brass a member of the family to the right had the audacity to knock on the scrounge. We had just had a delivery of baby related items a new supply of nappies and formula you know the sort of thing. She stood on the doorstep and asked if I had some spare baby formula and nappies as they were sort this week. I politely said we didn't (a small white lie a know) anyway after this she stood there and asked if I was sure, as we have a small baby ourselves. At this my blood began to boil a little as no should mean no and not a chance to negotiate.

Anyway after storming down our front path and slamming the gate closed I overheard her say something about people like them. Ha what a nerve I think she has that very wrong and how we would help the people to the left (which I would as they put their famlies and children first).

The reason I said no are as follows:

1. They all have mobile phones
2. Most of them smoke
3. They always have a drink in their hand
4. Have Sky

under normal circumstances not an issue but if you can not afford to look after your child then some if not all the above are not needed, and surely any parent would put their child first before luxury items.

Was I unreasonable to turn her down based on the above grounds or should I have helped?

Thanks xx

A BABY NOT BAG

Gosh, do you think they may have walked from the other direction meaning they didnt pass your house? Or do you think they may have walked past when you werent looking?

WhiteWidow there is far more to it than that. xx

I'm going off you OP, not your drip feeding.

whitewidow the milk and nappies were for visitors to the neighbours who may or may not have been killed and had their kidneys put on Ebay to raise some cash so the neighbours can fund their ciggie addiction whilst allowing their children to shit all over the OPs frontage

I have exaggerated slightly as have had one too many Pimms

Yummymummy. Ive been poor and ive been comfortably off and i have always been brought up to live within my means and would hate to ask others for help and i guess i expect the same from others. If i have ever needed favours i would always be clear to let the person know that they would be repaid asap. I work hard and live fairly frugally and dont liketo be taken advantage off. I think that your gut instinct usually tells you when someone is geuinely in need and i think you would have helped if you felt that they were genuinely in need but it really does seem that they were on the scrounge.

HAHAHAHAH @ hairylemon

WhiteWidow that is fair enough we all have a right to our opinions. Although I am actually quite a nice person.

hairylemon your post made me . I do rather like a nice glass of something.

angelicstar you sound as though your were brought up the same as me and DP. It is odd what you say about gut feelings and I went with mine in the occassion.

xx

Whitewidow why is it the op who has denyed the baby a nappy? Surely it is the parents responsibility to provide the nappies. If the neighbour had walked into tescos and asked for nappies as she was short would they have been responsible for the baby?

Why even bother posting if you're just going to say "no, I was right after all" even when the majority are saying you were being massively unreasonable?

well i usually drink Skol Super but I fancied something a bit more upmarket to celebrate Lizzies jubilee

still think you could have given em some milk and nappies, tightwad.

Angelic star that is beside the point. The OP had the things there but refused. Why? Probably a mixture of selfishness bad snobbery.

Whitewidow i dont think it is beside the point. Just because you have something doesnt mean you are obliged to give it away or are unreasonable if they dont wish to give it to a particular person.

if the family are running out of food and nappies they are not looking after their own child.

anyone else giving a bit here or there is a sticking plaster. they didnt just run out of formula or nappies, they ran out of both.

angelicstar interesting point .

yellowraincoat I can see that perhaps a few nappies etc for somebody in genuine need is okay but the whole situation seemed to be very strange to us. Not bothering with people and then a few days after a delivery calling around for a pack of nappies and formula without mentioning a please or reinbursement (I would not have accepted if they had genuinely needed these items). There is a shop around the corner and an Aldi the otherside of town (nappies £2 or so I'm informed and Wipes 75p)

xx

Whitewidow- the youngest child is a toddler and has no need of formula or the size nappies the OP had in the house.

What charitable people we all are!

I hope you find yourself in a situation were you need help and are refused it. Disgusting.

Nutellafix - so that means there couldn't be a baby there? Nope.

For gods sake, you are either the type of person that would help a neighbour out and not give a shit if they weren't 'people like you' or you are the type of person like the OP and others on here who likes to judge and feel all superior.

I know which one I'd rather be.

So what, OP? How the hell do you know she was in need or not?

You're a snob. That's it. The majority of people wouldn't have thought twice about it let alone carry on about it on a forum for days on end.

Exactly usual suspect.

I love how some of the people on here obviously think they are better than the people in question, they're terribly wrong

For the love of fuck THE NAPPIES WERE FOR VISITORS so all this talk of Aldi nappies that smell more like shit when they have been used than actual shit itself and wipes that wouldnt moisten the lips of Tutenkamunm is moot I tell you.

MOOT xx

More Pimms anyone?

Hold on, I just need to knock my neighbour to see if shes got any lemonade for the Pimms.

WhiteWidow we tend buy enough to cover us for the month with the order sometimes there are nappies left over and on the whole we do use them all. We do have them in the next size up in store but no use for DS yet, but our friends LO is the right age/size for these. I try to ensure that we are in a situation were we don't have to ask for things. Point taken re another baby being there but this was not mentioned.

WasabiTillyMinto thanks for this it is a sore point I think as it may well have been for a visiting baby. It makes it no less cheeky.

xx

How on earth did I miss this thread for 3 days! I've been reading too many jubilee threads I think! Is that why I am imagining the OP with a RP accent?