Was I unreasonable here.

[Yummymummyyobe1]

I was going to name change for this but don't think it is necessery. Anyway here goes.

My DP, me and our DS1 live in quite a nice area. We are on first name terms with the three neighbours to the left of us and are quite friendly you know the sort of thing popping in for a cuppa, and neighbourhoog get togethers as well as lists of contact number and spare keys to one anothers homes.

Anyway to the right hand side there are how do I put this delicately?? a couple of properties where the famliy's/tenants are less then salubrious police visits are numerous and their genral behaviour is frightful for example their children seem to think it is more than acceptable to trespass on private property by climbing over the wrought iron work and playing chase across the four front gardens.

So today my DP and his father popped out for an hour whilst I stayed in with our DS1 whist he napped. Anway the door bell went and as bold as brass a member of the family to the right had the audacity to knock on the scrounge. We had just had a delivery of baby related items a new supply of nappies and formula you know the sort of thing. She stood on the doorstep and asked if I had some spare baby formula and nappies as they were sort this week. I politely said we didn't (a small white lie a know) anyway after this she stood there and asked if I was sure, as we have a small baby ourselves. At this my blood began to boil a little as no should mean no and not a chance to negotiate.

Anyway after storming down our front path and slamming the gate closed I overheard her say something about people like them. Ha what a nerve I think she has that very wrong and how we would help the people to the left (which I would as they put their famlies and children first).

The reason I said no are as follows:

1. They all have mobile phones
2. Most of them smoke
3. They always have a drink in their hand
4. Have Sky

under normal circumstances not an issue but if you can not afford to look after your child then some if not all the above are not needed, and surely any parent would put their child first before luxury items.

Was I unreasonable to turn her down based on the above grounds or should I have helped?

Thanks xx

Well in that case OP perhaps Karma really will bite you on the ass

op wouldn't lend the neighbours any formula milk over the bank holiday because she thinks they're chavs doesn't know them very well

Usual nooooooooo

FFS has someone honestly suggested ringing SS before trying a neighbour for spares?

Id die if I thought a neighbour had to mither SS for a few fecking nappies and 10 scoops of Aptamil when I had them sitting in my cupboard

Some of us have been deleted and called bitter bullies.

just another day on MN really

No angelicstar she wasn't under an obligation.

She asked if she was being unreasonable.

And lots of people said yes.

So, shrug, I fail to see the problem. If you do stuff like that, some people will think you're unreasonable. If you're happy with that, fair enough.

Honestly, I think people put a lot of stock in politeness and some people just have a different idea of what is polite and some people just don't care about being polite. I would still have helped her out, my beliefs don't change on the basis of someone else's politeness.

Mecook - the council will give you emergency loans but they aren't immediate and they have to weigh up your circumstances. Its a bit bloody extreme though don't you think, when all they needed was a nappy and a bit of milk to see them through. Also, people are forgetting this was a bank holiday.

I would have gave them the formula and the nappies, A man once asked me for a packet of wipes for his baby whilst i was in a restaurant: I handed them over without a second thought.

Anyone who has a baby helps out others, Thats what i would have thought anyway.

Just think... What if it were my baby? You would want help.

I will get deleted not the thread, hairylemon

The Op is genuine apparently

WhiteWidow, all they needed was a better attitude toward their neighbour in the first place.

well maybe needs a better attitude towards the plebs to the left

maybe the op*

"If someone came up to you and asked for £5 (the price of a pack of nappies) would you just give it to them?"

No, Id give them a few nappies though

Mecook - some people come across differently than others. Obviously the OP is someone who wants someone to get down on their knees before they'll help them. And it's obvious she had made her decision without thinking about how they said it, with her back story!

sorry the plebs live to the right

Its true yellowraincoat that people have different ideas of what polite is. I'm just someone who always tries to be polite to people and so I suppose I do expect people to be polite to me and I guess I would see politeness as a mark of someone's character.

If the OP's attitude was so bad toward the "plebs" why did the "plebs" bother to go over and ask for a favour?

Maybe they didn't realise they were so looked down on.

They know now though don't they.

"If someone came up to you and asked for £5 (the price of a pack of nappies) would you just give it to them?"

It isn't just 'someone'...it the family next door.

op Im interested, what if by some fluke, your well organised monthly shop doesn't arrive and you are stuck over a bank holiday pr late at night without baby supplies....would you not ask your neighbour? Or would your snobbery the fact that you don't know them be considered more important than your child's needs??

Whitewidow - I don't think expecting someone to be respectful and polite is wanting someone to "get down on their knees". So now people can get away with being rude, letting their kids trespass on someones land and ask for something agressively and no one is allowed to judge??

On a related note, a random girl asked me for a tampax in the street once. I didn't have any so walked her to the shop and bought her a box. OH GAWD MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE TOLD HER TO RING SOCIAL SERVICES!!

Cannot believe this is all still going on, the same argument going round and round, then someone else jumps on and says exactly the same thing

OP - stop talking. Nobody cares what you say now. You will forevermore be the snob to your neighbours Chav.

OMG op you stuck up snob when ds3 was in scbu (born at 32 weeks) he ran out of nappies (heavy shit day :) ) and another mother offered us some of her babys to see him through til morning...it's what you do !! We then returned the borrowed ones to her the next day.

And wrought iron gates are soooo over rated !

Also people keep talking about "a few nappies" but the OP has said a number of times that it was a "pack" of nappies that was specifically asked for not just a few.

BellaOfTheBalls I do hope not, she already pee's on the floor tiles.

yellowraincoat I am all for manners and think you can tell a lot about people about their manners. My parents would have been horrified if my sister and I never said please and thank you.

usualsuspect it is the neighbours to the right but that is not the point you are making.

WhiteWidow, those are two different circumstances. My kids debate like that.