to hate the school holidays?

[LucieMay]

I seem to come across so many parents who love the school holidays and spending lots of time with their DCS. I'm the opposite- I always cannot wait for them to end, particularly the big six weeker in summer.

DS is in Y1 but when he went into reception, I got the biggest shock of my life- I'd worked full time up till then (from him being age two, was p-t up till the age of two, but babies are easier to entertain!) and obviously nursery is open 51 weeks a year! I'm on my own with DS and he's a very sociable child and very quickly gets bored without other children unless we're constantly out and about.

I find it very challenging. I plan activities every day (including seeing other mothers and kids where possible but almost all of my friends with kids work f/t) but I don't have an endless pot of money and even when we go for a day out, it only takes five hours max and I have 12 hours a day to fill!

It's not too bad now it's the warmer weather as he sometimes plays out with the local kids but the winter holidays are hard work. One day I could not think of anything new to do and ended up just taking him out for a pub lunch because I needed to see other people!

True, it's nice to have a break from the school run/commute/washing school uniform but that novelty wears out very quickly. I love DS to bits and we're very close but I definitely enjoy his company more when I have less of it and I think he feels the same sometimes although this school holidays (he's off for 16 days! and I'm off work for all of them!) he keeps telling me at the end of every day what a good day he's had and how much he enjoys being with me and i feel so guilty because I just don't feel the same all of the time- I love being with him when we're out and about but come 5pm when we're home I just feel a sense of dread. I find it impossible to get any housework done and long for adult conversation. Am I bad parent or does anyone else feel like this?

I love the school holidays, but agree they can get fractious, especially towards the end!

i always loved the hols, i think it depends on so many things.
ds has AS and school was a bloody awful slog - so holidays were a welcome relief!

i like the hols, love it even more if i can get time off at the same time. DD likes school and gets bored but she is a teen and tends to make her own entertainment now.

i think the school hols get easier for those that find them difficult the older your kids get.

I feel your pain, but I fear many won't.

Just think of me... 2 kids, 12 farkinweeks of summer holiday, no family to help... aaaaargh!!!!!!!!

I know what you mean OP. There are some good things, like not having the daily homework battles with DS (although he will need to do some school work over the holidays otherwise he may have to repeat the year ), but I do find it hard having the dcs around me all day long. I love the peace and quiet when they're at school!

We have 10 weeks holiday! I have booked the dcs into some activities for at least a week each, and different weeks for each of them so they get a break from each other. When the 3 of them are getting along it's fine, but there is a lot of arguing and fighting. I find that it takes them a while to settle into the different routine and pace, and they usually get better towards the end when it's time to go back to school!

I try to alternate busy days with quiet days. We don't do many big things, so if we do have a special day out it's a novelty. They have to get used to amusing themselves at home too, and I make it clear that I am not a children's entertainer. It's ok for them to be bored sometimes - if they complain about it I suggest chores they could do. If it gets bad and we all have cabin fever, I find that even a short walk to the shop to choose juice to make ice-lollies (or whatever) gives everyone a change of scene and changes the atmosphere enough. It's fine just to go out for lunch - we do that too! We try to do "film night" and "game night" once a week each - things we don't often have time for with the normal busy schedule.

Lucie has your DS got a pet to play with? Could you both cope with a pair of guinea pigs or a hamster? My DCs get a lot of pleasure from playing with their pets and cleaning them out. They live inside and get a lot of attention. You can build cardboard dens for hamsters and you can make outside dens for guinea pigs, you can video/photograph their antics.

Also I find putting a small fluffy animal into the arms of an upset child is a magic cure and they feel better as they stroke and talk to the animal.

It might be something to think about in the future even if DS is a bit young now.

I loved the holidays but mine did lots of fun football courses, craft courses, tennis courses, music courses - there were also lots near here. See if your local authority/borough has a summer activity course brochure for school age children. You should be able to get hold of it via the education or leisure and amenity departments. Check out your local football club, library and leisure centre too. There's always Camp Beaumont for a week's respite.

I felt the same when they were very young. Not that I didn't want to spend time with them but it was hard to keep them occupied every day without spending a fortune. It gets better as they get old enough to keep themselves amused or are able to play out with their friends. My advice is to plan a few paid for trips (or use Tesco clubcard rewards) and space them across the hols. so that they have stuff to look forward to. Are you a member of the NT? That can be quite good as you have somewhere to go on fine days, you can take your own picnic, there's plenty of room for them to run around in safety and there is usually an adventure playground. We are lucky in that we live by a beach...which is free! Make sure you have used some of your Tesco vouchers for cinema vouchers and save those up for rainy days. Otherwise? lots of craft stuff in the house, do some baking etc. It can be a challenge every day but you will have some great days & as wheremommygone says, we do all feel like that sometimes partic towards the end of 6 wks

I love the school holidays because we don't have to be anywhere at a certain time. It is lovely to be free from the school runs.

Having said that, I do always breathe a small sigh of relief when I drop them all off on the first day back to school :)

My dm once had unscheduled 4 weeks term time with one of my brothers off school. He had a detached retina and couldn't watch tv, do jigsaws, read or anything that would strain eyes. Also no physical exertion. He was pretty grumpy!

She got him 2 gerbils and by lucky hap ended up with about 15 (m/f by mistake) and that kept him pretty occupied.

try to meet up as much as you can with other (single) parents. I seem to do endless picnics in the park (cheap outing!), or go swimming in the lcoal swimming pool. Cheap morning cinema an option too.

I need a plan, otherwise I panic. I find if I take them out for 2-3 hours a day, they are quite happy just "being" at home for the rest of it.

It's one of the advantages of having more than one dc! I would reccomend finding lots and lots of cheap activities- look at your local leisure centre, or sometimes local private school. Sounds like you are alreadyeeting lots of friends but try and keep that cheap, playground or each others houses so you have cash for other days. If you are in a bigger town, look up the museum activities. Also do lots of cooking, and there's nothing wrong with telly/ playsyatiom time- it is a holiday.

YABU

What do his friends do in the holidays? Just because their mothers work full time doesn't mean you can't invite the kids round- one of my dd's friends went to holiday club at school and hated it, so she used to come to us one day every week. It was company for dd, q day when I didn't have to do child entertaining and made her mum feel less guilty about the holiday club thing. Win/win!

I agree with seeker - my ds is an 'only' and I try and invite friends round for the day periodically in the holidays. If their parents work they are often absurdly grateful for us to have them for the day. Ds and friend occupy themselves (they are now 10) and I read my book....then at the end of the day I'm pleased to have some 1:1 time with ds.

op your post completely resonates - everything about it. i'm a single parent also, however, my 6yo dc is always in nursery/summer scheme over the summer hols and the most i have to cope with is 2 weeks in July! so i completely feel your pain about the 6 weeks summer break def not a terrible parent, my dc is much better in nursery/summer scheme than stuck at home/being trailed out places with me, whose heart isn't really in it. sometimes i feel incredibly guilty, other times not so much as i obviously have to earn the money!

can't abide summer hols, school should be like work - only 17 days a year off!

I do love the holidays I have to admit, but then school holidays are also my holidays, and I do enjoy spending relaxed time with DD, although she is now older in Y5.

I always make sure we have a friend or two round for her at least 1-2 times a week. I try and make sure at least ine of them is without their parent too so that the children go off and play and I have some free time too.o In the summer and sometimes in the Easter holidays she will also spend 3 or 4 days at a drama club.

And we do a lot of days out - but I make a day out last most of the day - and not all cost much. We like to geocache, so that can involve a long walk, maybe a picnic or cafe lunch, a drive too...takes up more time. And I arrange a bigger day out once a week too - so a theme park, zoo, theme park, etc - and again it is an all day affair. Especially when she was younger a day trip involving the bus or esp a train can be fun too - and fills more of the day - maybe a trip to a city museum or the beach?

And I leave DD to play on her own, always have done. So she has loads of craft stuff, her toys, music, etc - and she is expected to fill her time herself, without me directing her. And I have expected that since she was young.

DD does love company and having her friends round, but it is about finding the balance.

The bit in the evening - give him an hour or so of TV/video, or independent play Throw him int he garden with a tub of water - or if it is wet a long bath full of bubbles.

should add i love half term etc for time off from the routine and to do some stuff together, first week of christmas hols is great, towards the second end is like getting teeth pulled

Also - look on the local council website - many have ranger days and events , most of which are free or about £1.

Are you putting too much pressure on yourself to fill the days? Why not just chill out with him, have a lazy day, chat, watch tv, make something nice together for lunch, do the housework together, that sort of thing. Clearly he loves being with you, so why not see him a bit more as a friend that you can chat to rather than a chore if that makes sense? You could have a little project going together - maybe writing a book? He tells the story and you write it down and then you draw the pictures for it together.

See this is where having twins is a winner...live-in play mate.

My advice - invite friends around. Then they will invite your child.
And don't worry about evey day being improving. A play in the park, a DVD, making tea together are all fine at that age.

Also if you find it less than enjoyable, try to find as many things that will keep your child busy.

Blowing bubbles, a hula hoop...

YANBU the six weeker is like an endurance test for me I am on my own with kids and work several days week, on days off I am largely knackered but feel I ought to be organising these super family days out where we do fun things and meet up with lots of friends!! I feel racked with guilt every year they we only manage to do a few things if we are lucky, I just don't seem to find the time money or energy tbh

Having said all that my dc seem perfectly happy most of the time to play in garden have friends round, sleep in, stay up later watching a movie, watch tv, and play on Xbox!

Do any of his friends live nearby? Having a load of kids over sounds like hard work; but they'll largely entertain themselves and it'll take a bit of pressure of you having to be his sole "entertainer", iykwim.

Would he engage with a project over the summer holidays - maybe something he can do independently mostly? Perhaps a nature project - he has to collect things he finds and stick them in his scrapbook when home and draw, colour or write about them?