to hate the school holidays?

[LucieMay]

I seem to come across so many parents who love the school holidays and spending lots of time with their DCS. I'm the opposite- I always cannot wait for them to end, particularly the big six weeker in summer.

DS is in Y1 but when he went into reception, I got the biggest shock of my life- I'd worked full time up till then (from him being age two, was p-t up till the age of two, but babies are easier to entertain!) and obviously nursery is open 51 weeks a year! I'm on my own with DS and he's a very sociable child and very quickly gets bored without other children unless we're constantly out and about.

I find it very challenging. I plan activities every day (including seeing other mothers and kids where possible but almost all of my friends with kids work f/t) but I don't have an endless pot of money and even when we go for a day out, it only takes five hours max and I have 12 hours a day to fill!

It's not too bad now it's the warmer weather as he sometimes plays out with the local kids but the winter holidays are hard work. One day I could not think of anything new to do and ended up just taking him out for a pub lunch because I needed to see other people!

True, it's nice to have a break from the school run/commute/washing school uniform but that novelty wears out very quickly. I love DS to bits and we're very close but I definitely enjoy his company more when I have less of it and I think he feels the same sometimes although this school holidays (he's off for 16 days! and I'm off work for all of them!) he keeps telling me at the end of every day what a good day he's had and how much he enjoys being with me and i feel so guilty because I just don't feel the same all of the time- I love being with him when we're out and about but come 5pm when we're home I just feel a sense of dread. I find it impossible to get any housework done and long for adult conversation. Am I bad parent or does anyone else feel like this?

I find it hard to get other parents to meet up in holidays and do play dates as people here are busy or very unreliable. Other things I can't do because of number or ages of DC like swimming.

I'm lucky in that there are a few cheap local activities I know about. This year I've also been saving up for the big holiday as last year I had little money. Also picked up some season tickets for two places one for wet weather and one for dry so its only transport costs I have to find.

I've gone from having a DH leaving at 8.30 to back at 5.30 to one with work and commute was out 12 hours and frequent away with business over holidays to one who is away all week. Not a change we foresaw but still easier than lone parenting as he's back weekends and he makes the money.

Some days in holiday I don't see another adult. This is getting easier as they get older but some days they get a film for a bit on and I MN to keep me sane.

Best thing to do OP is plan as much as possible - have a list of possible activities for home, nearby or days out and accept that some days are going to be difficult.

Mopswerver Ouch! Never meant to come up with a typical wind up! Just speaking from the heart. I have twins. They bicker and fight and are pretty horrific a lot of the time. Still prefer to be with them than without.....

LucieMay Didn't mean to suggest you didn't want your son eithet!! I just find it hard (however naive that may be) to see why a mum or dad single or together might find it difficult to be with their child in the holidays. I'm not a single mum but my husband works 8-7..It's a long time to be with 2 young kids who Do fight and Do bicker. I just appreciate them and think they're the most precious things I've ever had. I've been blessed and I won't forget that.

And to all you ungrteful SAHM..get a life!! I'd trade places with you in a second! You don't have to be SAH!!

For me, it depended on age. I did dread it when DS was in preschool, the holidays dragged and I struggled to make it fun for both of us the entire time. Now he's in reception he's more easily pleased so it's not as daunting.

Spare a thought for all those people who can't have children...

Shelly32 Sun 03-Jun-12 23:33:57
Spare a thought for all those people who can't have children..

WTF?>

Shelly32, Have you ever thought that sahm choose to sah as you choose to work. You could be sahm if you wanted. If your dh works 8-7 he must earn enough. Sahp have lives that are far better than most families with 2 parents working and the fact that they give their dc's alot more time than working parents perhaps gives them the right to complain of overload sometimes. What gives you the right to criticise something you know so little about.

the cracks show in places shelly32, have you read your posts maybe it would do you good to be honest about all this anger you are projecting, at least op is honest about what is eating at her.

No I couldn't choose to SAH. I have a mortgage to pay. You have no idea what my husband does, you have no idea about what our mortgage costs , you have no idea about about any other costs we may need to pay. You know so little about me! I'd love the privilege of being with my babies!!

Shelly32 - with DH working away and with its high transport and additional accommodation we don't have spare cash so can't have additional expenses. I don't have free childcare from friends and family and can't earn enough to cover childcare let along transport and other working costs. We can't get rid of the house so can't move down to where he is which would improve matters. So at the minute I don't have a choice about being at home.

We've also had to move several times since DC for DH work so maintaining a job let alone my career would have been bloody impossible.

On the whole I love being at home with DC especially the early years of it but doesn't mean I can't find it hard at times .

If you don't like not being at home perhaps you should look at your life and make changes rather than judge everyone else?

What's eating at me isn't my children!

as do you know so little about op and the others you are slating

^Shelly32
You have no idea what my husband does, you have no idea about what our mortgage costs , you have no idea about about any other costs we may need to pay^

But you know about everyone else's situations ?

Meh..okay..let's turn on a poster who might have a diff view from the rest. Go ahead . It's gotta be someone. Waits for the rest of the slathering hyenas to strike I am allowed an opinion am I not?

and what is stressfull for Op is not her child either it is the bigger picture and circumstances that are possibly making her time with her dc harder than she would chose or wish it to be.

I never said I knew about ANYONE's situation. I just offered my opinion. Isn't that what you do on thess sites?

no lets point out some facts and considerations to the poseter who has just lambasted in here and dished out a load of unpleasant and misplaced anger on other posters

Okay dangerousliason fair point. I didn't attck her, I just don't understand her point of view.

well you can not understand other peoples view points with out turning on posters who have different experiences from you, there is no need for that, none turned on you untill your most reacent posts.

I think there are quite a few other poster who have different opinions and they aren't attacking other peoples choices and judging other peoples situations and coming across as smug and self righteous and many of us offering suggestion on how OP can improve her situation.

If I understood your post, I might agree with you.

Oh well my dyslexia is a real pain especially, when I'm tired and proof reading doesn't help me spot mistakes, probably time I went to bed then.

I couldnt careless what you thought to be honest

Oh Boo..Honestly, I am not smug and self righteous! I don't think text/email etc does tone justice. I honestly can't see why anyone ould not want to spend every second with the child they were blessed with...s'all. I'm not being self righteous or smug. I just don't get it!