to hate the school holidays?

[LucieMay]

I seem to come across so many parents who love the school holidays and spending lots of time with their DCS. I'm the opposite- I always cannot wait for them to end, particularly the big six weeker in summer.

DS is in Y1 but when he went into reception, I got the biggest shock of my life- I'd worked full time up till then (from him being age two, was p-t up till the age of two, but babies are easier to entertain!) and obviously nursery is open 51 weeks a year! I'm on my own with DS and he's a very sociable child and very quickly gets bored without other children unless we're constantly out and about.

I find it very challenging. I plan activities every day (including seeing other mothers and kids where possible but almost all of my friends with kids work f/t) but I don't have an endless pot of money and even when we go for a day out, it only takes five hours max and I have 12 hours a day to fill!

It's not too bad now it's the warmer weather as he sometimes plays out with the local kids but the winter holidays are hard work. One day I could not think of anything new to do and ended up just taking him out for a pub lunch because I needed to see other people!

True, it's nice to have a break from the school run/commute/washing school uniform but that novelty wears out very quickly. I love DS to bits and we're very close but I definitely enjoy his company more when I have less of it and I think he feels the same sometimes although this school holidays (he's off for 16 days! and I'm off work for all of them!) he keeps telling me at the end of every day what a good day he's had and how much he enjoys being with me and i feel so guilty because I just don't feel the same all of the time- I love being with him when we're out and about but come 5pm when we're home I just feel a sense of dread. I find it impossible to get any housework done and long for adult conversation. Am I bad parent or does anyone else feel like this?

'I don't understand how parents can dread the school holidays in any way, shape or form.'

Is that cos you dont have a child with severe SN? Where school is your only chance to sleep?

The OP doesnt have a son with severe SN does she?
No, I don't, but have taught children with very severe difficulties so am aware of how hard that it. Still, I don't think I understand that someone would 'dread' a week (or 6) with their child. Yes, they might need/want support (friend, family, grandparents, surestart centre) but not dread...

you made it a general 'parents'. And yes, with no support I 'dread' it in a way I never did with my others (who never went to school anyhow). So in a way I do find it weird people with non-sn kids might 'dread' it but understand why its different for others. Friend is mine is facing 6 weeks with a 12 yo who attacks her hourly. No support. No family. Anyone would be dreading that.

I've squashed a 3 day straight busy days wed-fri half term week. Today DD & i are making cakes & have only just had breakfast. Tomorrow, my mum is hoping to be home early from work so it'll be lazy day tomorrow. Monday...im not sure....Tuesday....I'll be pulling my hair out. Wed - sister is over. Thurs - DD is out for the day to the cinema with godmummy & Fri - dd has a haircut & lunch round her friends house. Saturday - i'll be pulling my hair out again. Sunday ill be cheering...back to normality!! I too am dreading the 6 weeker!

puddle2 - depending on where OP is...paddling pool will be a no go. Here we're not allowed until the hose pipe ban is lifted. Also, doing some of the things you have listed, although very creative & definately will kill time, it may mean the op having to take trips to the shops to buy the things needed to do some of the activities. Bear in mind not many shops are open bank holiday.

oh & also puddle - kids are different around their parents to what they are at school. DD is polite, does as shes told, doesnt answer back or even say anything remotely nasty at school. At home she doesnt use her manners as well or freely like im told she does in school, she answers me back when she doesnt wat to do something & she can be at times quite rude. Not only that, teachers have plans ahead. Rain or shine. As groups. What about the parents who dont live near their friends or family with kids? What about parents who cant plan a week ahead?

I have never felt the need to entertain my kids, as such. We might plan to go for a day out somewhere,one day, but I don't think there is any need to have something planned for EVERY day. Children can get too used to having something in place for every day and then are "bored" when there isn't. They need time to actually be bored and learn to find their own amusement sometimes. And they need to know that you maybe can't afford to do things. These are all little life lessons.

I have no garden live in an expensive city with limited free activities that are suited to a 10 yr old, mainly aimed at the younger kids

A 1 wk dance club in £60 so an dreading the expense

Perhaps she could choose something that doesnt involve a trip to the shops then ;-)
Yes, I agree that kids are often different with parents to how they are at school. Partly because teachers NEED to keep everyone in line or can you imagine the chaos. Plus children need down time, they work so hard in school little mites that theyre bound to snap and be crabby at some point. Parents are the easy target arent they, because theyll always love you however mean and crabby you are to them.
And yes, teachers do have to plan ahead, to keep control of everything. Doesnt mean parents need to write huge plans for children, but do you need to write a plan to make a den in the garden (bed sheets, boxes, whatever you have), make and throw paper planes (old letters etc if no paper), climb a tree and search for worms?!

I love them. Because I work full time and it's my chance to send lots of quality time together. Whether that's at home or out for the day.

The only bit I dislike is running it of leave.

*out of leave.

*spend.

Need to start previewing. Tut.

Mixed feelings for me. Ds has high functioning autism and OCD so, he's very isolated. I see his peer group out in town in little groups (they're aged 11) and at the park and off on their bikes and think how much easier it would be, if ds had a friend or even sibling.

But, he's happy doing his own thing and being home, with me. I worry though.

Of course, it's always good to have a break and always better if it's dry and warm! Let's hope.

YANBU
I used to dread the hols when I just had DD1 and when DD2 was very young -DD1 was 6 when DD2 came along. But it has got easier as she has got older...not sure about the sibling to keep her company though - they bicker constantly...it's exhausting.
DD1 was full time Nursery until school (I worked full time) ...I found that (and maybe part of it was guilt) I always made an effort to spend time with her in the evenings and take her do 'fun' things at the weekends.
(I've no family around and DP had his own business and was only around on Monday pm - worked from 9am to midnight every other day. Also I didn't know any other parents in the area.)
DD1 needed constant entertaining...and I WAS Anti TV/computer games -

I would get the painting/playdough out -she would spend 10 mins playing and then I would spend 30 mins tidying up! And then struggled to find something to do...hated it... I think it is because at Nursery they have someone paid to pay them attention, there are lots of toys all laid out for them and lots of other children to play with all the time ... they never learn to entertain themselves...
Now DD1 (11) will go out and play with her friends on her own more etc - but she gets bored very easily and if she is in she constantly wants to watch TV - drives me insane - she will read a book etc but with the TV on... and if I turn it off within minutes she will turn it back on again ...(until I put my foot down!)

I was SAHM with DD2 and she is much much better at entertaining herself - can happily play on her own for hours with a train set or something. She was alone with me whilst DD1 was at school...we did go out to a group at least once a week and she socialised at school pick up/drop off as well ...and we did make things together etc but I couldn't pay her full attention all the time ( I do volunteer office work from home)... (also when she was at playgroup/morning nursery we couldn't go far cos we only had a couple of hours before school pick up)
Now I'm also more laid back at the weekends - we stay in sometimes...(Mine love Saturdays - because they don't HAVE to go anywhere)
I think it will get easier as your DS1 gets older ...do try and get a weeks respite by booking him onto a course or something...
I think if I could go back I'd 'neglect' DD1 a bit more...don't know if its already too late for your DS???

YANBU - I love, love, love the holidays, but my children do entertain each other to a large extent, which makes if far easier.

If I were you I would be co-opting a few of the children of your friends who work f/t to be surrogate siblings/cousins. This should be on the understanding that you will offer low key entertainment (going to the park, picnic, ball supplied), but that you will be reading your book, not acting as entertainments officer.

No uanbu. I can totally see where you are coming from. I teach myself so obviously love being off school but my husband is also in education so we nearly always have the same hols. In nireland we get 8 weeks off in the summer. But because dh is off too it makes it much easier & I can go away for days on my own as well. 16 days with my 5 without another adult would put me daft.

Before the 6 week holidays, I stick a biiiig bit of paper on the wall in the kitchen and on it we write all the things we think of that we'd like to do in the long hols. This could be "make papier mâché balloons" or "Visit a castle" or "have so-and -so to stay" or "go to the cinema" or "go for a bike ride" or whatever.

I also made a list of all the free things to do near here - nice walks, different parks off the beaten track, free museums. We printed out a picture of each, laminated them and put them in a bag. When the kids are bored they can choose one of them and off we go.

I would second the plea to get your son involved in the housework you want to do. My kids who are similar ages to yours love doing the dusting or passing me the pegs, also obsessed with the Hoover.

Kids need to know how the household runs - food comes from shops, clothes do not appear magically clean in their drawers etc. if he is nagging you to come and play with him, it is perfectly ok to say "this is what I have to do before I play with you, i would love it if you kept me company, but if you don't want to join me in sorting the odd socks, you will have to find something to keep you busy while I do this"

And do sign him up for one day play scheme a week so you can get some personal space!

Sounds like an introduction to moshi monsters is required!!

I'm one of those pains who loves the holidays. Barely seen my DC recently. Not seeing them much makes me feel ill and gives me nightmares. They can be PITAs as all DC can be, but I can't wait to spend all that time with them. Got loads of stuff planned.

Agree with all the posters who've said that kids need to learn to entertain themselves and that there's nothing wrong with being bored. Bits of life are boring, like waiting in airports and sitting through dull meetings. How do you learn to do that other than on wet Sundays when you're 9? And being constantly entertained means they don't get to use their imaginations. Aren't days out and activities meant to be treats? They were when I was little. And sometimes it was better just to stay at home and make a den and pretend to be a bear for a bit while my mum did... actually I don't know what she did, I was pretending to be a bear...

If I'm honest, I dread the holidays. My eldest has special needs, it's like having a toddler for 7 years and no respite. Totally exhausting. Full on from 4:30 when he wakes up until bedtime. I cannot even take both my boys to many places on my own.
My younger son without SN is so much easier, I would have no issues with holidays if both were NT.

Chandon - I need to correction a misconception you and some other posters seem to have. School holidays with "an only" can be brilliant fun! It certainly is with my DD (7) who is never bored and doesn't need to be entertained all the time. Just sayin'

Why do people who don't enjoy spending time with their kids bother having kids?? I love the holidays and love being with my kids. It's not about filling every spare second with some planned activity, it's seeing them play together, entertain themselves, have family time..YABU

Shelly32 i asume you have NT kids.

Sorry, not a MN regular..what's NT?