to hate the school holidays?

[LucieMay]

I seem to come across so many parents who love the school holidays and spending lots of time with their DCS. I'm the opposite- I always cannot wait for them to end, particularly the big six weeker in summer.

DS is in Y1 but when he went into reception, I got the biggest shock of my life- I'd worked full time up till then (from him being age two, was p-t up till the age of two, but babies are easier to entertain!) and obviously nursery is open 51 weeks a year! I'm on my own with DS and he's a very sociable child and very quickly gets bored without other children unless we're constantly out and about.

I find it very challenging. I plan activities every day (including seeing other mothers and kids where possible but almost all of my friends with kids work f/t) but I don't have an endless pot of money and even when we go for a day out, it only takes five hours max and I have 12 hours a day to fill!

It's not too bad now it's the warmer weather as he sometimes plays out with the local kids but the winter holidays are hard work. One day I could not think of anything new to do and ended up just taking him out for a pub lunch because I needed to see other people!

True, it's nice to have a break from the school run/commute/washing school uniform but that novelty wears out very quickly. I love DS to bits and we're very close but I definitely enjoy his company more when I have less of it and I think he feels the same sometimes although this school holidays (he's off for 16 days! and I'm off work for all of them!) he keeps telling me at the end of every day what a good day he's had and how much he enjoys being with me and i feel so guilty because I just don't feel the same all of the time- I love being with him when we're out and about but come 5pm when we're home I just feel a sense of dread. I find it impossible to get any housework done and long for adult conversation. Am I bad parent or does anyone else feel like this?

I think it really depends on what your children are like. I have a dd, she is easy going, and very happy to amuse herself in quiet pursuits, although she does also enjoy being sociable.

My DS however is completely different, he is full of energy, never stops talking, and worse than that he cannot abide playing on his own, he is very high maintenance, needs to be watched, entertained and played with 100 pc of the time.

Tbh I find him quite exhausting and am always delighted when the holidays are over!!!

YADNBU

I'm the same BonnieBumble.

I hope it will it will improve next year with youngest stats nursury as part of the problem is I'm worn out with all day with youngest and as DH works away have to look forward to all the evenings antics. It doesn't help the DC are tired and irritable as well of course.

I love them but then I have 2 boys aged 7 and 4 1/2 who get on really well together (mostly!) and at the moment they just love hanging out with me and/or dh no matter what we do.
I do arrange to see family and friends a lot too which they really enjoy.

We also live in a borough that has lots to do and lots of green areas.

I find it odd that people generally get really upset when it's time to wave them off to school for the first time, and miss them, but then can't stand having them around all the time during holidays?

Does your council run any play schemes OP - one you can leave them there or something cheap you can do together ? Does the local swimming baths/ sports centre do intesive sets of lesson you could book your DC into?

YANBU I have a 3 & 4 year old who squabble incessantly when the eldest isn't at school, I'm a lone parent and do not have an endless pot of money to keep them entertained in holidays. So it's walks in the wood, picnics, park etc only

I have DS1 at home full-time, home-ed and I can't wait for the holidays as DS2 is home from school. We have plenty of things planned for this holiday and I won't miss having to drag myself out at 8.25 every morning.

If it is such an issue OP, why not continue working and find a holiday club for your little boy.

Cockwomble some DC seem to find adjustment from school to school hoildays hard - my eldest was very hard in her reception year as she got used to alot of toys and playmates on tap. Later years and its more work and she seems glad of the break now.

I see Hex, never thought of it like that. I suppose if you've playmates all the time then none it can be vair boring. I suppose as they get older they actually study at school more than play don't they, perhaps that's why they enjoy the rest.

Looking forward to it. DH is not back at work until Thursday so only 2 days to entertain them really.

I find the holidays very hard, though I've always felt it was pretty taboo to admit it.

Dd(8) is very good but by week 3 she is really suffering from lack of daily contact with her peers. Seeing friends here and there is just not the same. She has 2 brothers, but the 5 year old is non-verbal with autism and the other one is only 2.8 so not really an ideal playmate (although they are getting better at playing together all the time)

I feel a lot of pressure to give them all a great time, but it's very hard for me to take all 3 of them out together single handed so our options are pretty limited. Especially as everywhere I can think of going will be heaving.

Have to admit that selfishly I really miss not having any headspace in the day at all too. Conversely I found it much easier when dd was pre school as there wasn't such a mammoth difference between term time and holiday time.

I would do anything, anything, to be one of those mums who loves and looks forward to the hols

Luciemay - I also know where you are coming from with the time thing.

It's nice to get up late (well, for DS that is 7am) have a cuddle and read to them (7.30) breakfast (8.00) chores while they play/squabble (9.00) then an activity. With the best will in the world, going to the park via the supermarket and perhaps one other fun thing will only take us till 1-2pm. Then what do you do?
My DCs kind of play with each other, but often I find they are a bit random and I am constantly 'on call' for them. I wish they played harmoniously.
And, being on a busy road with an unsecured garden (rented, so can't put up a fence myself) means I have to always supervise them. Which is fine, but if I'm there, they focus on me, rather than just getting on with playing.

And you can't let them roam around by themselves, like I used to do in the summer holidays, because Something Terrible might befall them...

So there are still 6 hours to fill up.
It's not that I don't love being with them, but going from having them engaged and busy 5 days a week to them being with me full time 7 days a week can be a little bit much and i find I end up getting shouty.

I bet this is the same for you too.

I love the holidays. Only one eight year old at home so we get into a nice routine - up early, breakfast, dog walk, and so on. We usually plan an outing each day to focus on but we will spend plenty of time watching dvds as well.

He is good at entertaining himself so not a whiner, which helps. Plus, if he is bored, I promise to sort him out some housework to do which I find sends him scurrying off to his room to look in his lego box.

I love the school holidays but then I'm a teacher

Cockwomble i have to say i agree, although i certainly was glad when my dc started school (as was she - and ready for it too) and just didn't get the sadness of such a great opportunity, no tears here at all!

school is one of the best inventions ever!

I am one of the parents who like holidays and hate/ hated kids being at school. Its true though that everyday doesn't have to be all singing and dancing. I do get a break though as dh works mostly from home so we have loads of family time.

I am one of the parents who like holidays and hate/ hated kids being at school. Its true though that everyday doesn't have to be all singing and dancing. I do get a break though as dh works mostly from home so we have loads of family time.

I love it now. Have Ds (8) and dd(5). The holidays always seem too short to fit in everything. Typically we go to London to see gps and do either the museums or something like the eye for 2 days and one night, have a quiet at home day maybe with the park or supermarket thrown in. Might swim or have a bike ride another day. They each usually have a friend over one or two days.... Then we normally have to go into town to get shoes fitted (I try to do this every half term) and have lunch. The time flies tbh.

I love the lack of stress and the fact that we can make our own time :)

Until yesterday i was dreading the forthcoming holidays (ours are 2 days short of 8 weeks). Now i am counting down the days (28 today). I am on my own with my child n dont hav lots of money but i dont feel like i need to be doing things. I jus cant wait to be spending time together. Not everyday has to be a fun filled activity day so dont put too much pressure on yourself op.
Not sure if il b saying the same thing on the 7th week of the hols.

I love the school holidays, oh yes.

Nothing to do with what my children are up to, I'm a teacher!

You are definately not being unreasonable - a long school holiday is a challenge no matter how well prepared you are in terms of keeping child/ren entertained. I have found it more difficult as mine have got older as they have stronger preferences on what they like to do, so it comes down to the old adage of 'you cant please all of the people all of the time' and they have to accept that on some occasions it is someone elses choice but their turn will come and by doing that everyone gets to do some things that they like some of the time.

I still have housework such as washing, food shopping and all the usual things, so there is always at least one day that we dont go out so that I can keep on top of things - that is usually a film day as the last thing I want is lots of cleaning up on top of the cleaning up, if you see what I mean, and if they have had a busy week, the at home day is usually welcomed as they can recharge their batteries too and chill.

Cost of entertaining them at attractions of any sort has gone through the roof, so a day out at the zoo, theme park or playcentre is not an everyday option, so we meet up with friends some of the time and book as a group if possible to take advantage of any discounts available. But we try to balance that with cheaper options such as activities organised by the local council or libraries or museums as well as days at the beach/park with a picnic or if weather bad a day at home baking or doing craft activities. Some really good ideas from other MNers that I will also be looking into.

I dont miss the hassle of having the school drop offs/pick ups and enjoy the fact that we can set off in the morning if we are out for the day and dont have to be back at a certain time. Some days are just better than others, hope you can find some activities that keep DC entertained and give you some adult company as well.

When my son went to school I was relieved, to have time to myself. I always enjoyed the holidays with him though.

Now I have my both my sons at home and they are home-educated. It was really hard at first, and though I never get anytime to myself (well sleep) I found that we have got used to being together all the time, we have found a 'grove' that works for most of the time. Yes, somedays I want to boil my head, but mostly I love having them around, its a joy to see them learning and living close up, and not to have a part of thier lives ordered and controlled by others who don't care for them as much as I do.

OP you are not a bad parent!!

Stop being so hard on yourself.

Being a parent can be bloody hard work. Doing it on your own is even harder.

I have no practical advice as you sound so fabulous and switched on, but hang in there girl . It will get better, I promise. (my DS is in year 3 and now that he can play on the computer my life is a LOT easier!)

I don't mind half-terms, but 6 weeks is just too long. They get bored and grumpy and forget everything they learned at school. I'm lucky in that I live on a quiet street with little traffic and lots of similarly-aged children, so my 8 year old dd is playing out on her bike much of the time - though they do trash my house and garden too. My teens become nocturnal in the holidays. This is a mixed blessing as they wake me up cooking bacon sarnies at 3am!