to find excuses to walk past the builders working down the road because i'm secretly flattered by them whistling at me?

[mumofbumblebea]

and they are not even good looking?
I have self-esteem issues, don't I?

I purposefully avoid builders and workmen like the plague as I find that kind of attention cringey. And it's not flattering, they whistle at anybody they consider 'passable'

Another harpie here :) Maybe we're not so much the minority then?

I used to be whistled at, shouted at, tooted at and propositioned from age 11. I was still at primary school.

Is that all part of this great fun aspect? I dont think so. I used to find it intimidating, embarassing and scary as a school girl. I still did through my 20s and 30s at times.

As I said upthread as regards builders / building sites, usually attitudes change once they see you as an individual (especially someone who has the authority to have them removed from site) rather than just as simply a passing body / pair of legs.

FWIW most of the major contractors have policies in place to moderate behaviour on their sites but then most of the UK building sites are run by small / medium size firms who do not.

Whilst being a little hypocritical about this in that I have - on the very rare occasion - been known to smile when particularly good-looking site worker has whistled I totally agree about the coarse comments and when young girls are involved.

Like many on here, I have experienced the confusion and worry of this happening from aged 11 on.

I don't like it. I'm shy and when it happens it feels like there's a spotlight shining on me and everyone is looking, and I hate it.

I know this is going to be vomit worthy, but I'd much rather have DP give me a slap on the bum then a couple of builders whistling at me. I love his attention and I feel no need at all to go and find attention scraps elsewhere

What I really hate about these threads is all the "Oh for God's sake"-ing that goes on, particularly against feminist views.

Just because you don't agree, doesn't mean you have to act so huffily. No-one's telling you what you should and shouldn't like, we just happen to have a different point of view.

I totally agree yellow.

It does make me laugh though when you're called jealous as the assumption seems to be that the only people who object are too unattractive to get whistled at

Yes, which is particularly ironic when you consider that the people who do report getting whistled at a lot - e.g. younger women - tend not to like it.

Actually that is really nasty misogynistic idea, the more I think about it - 'Stop complaining about sexual harassment, you're just jealous the boss didn't slap your arse'.

Ick.

It makes me uncomfortable.. I'm no oil painting but am fairly "well endowed" let us say. When I was 16 and doing some work experience somewhere, some builder types in a van I was walking past called me over and asked me if I knew anywhere nearby where they could buy jugs.. really big jugs? Being young and naive I didn't really compute what they were saying and pointed them towards the nearest shops

I think they felt a bit bad when they realised how young I was.

I know MrsCampbellBlack.

The only reason a woman would possibly object to any behaviour from a man is because she's an ugly, pathetic minger who is desperate for attention.

I mean, obviously I am, but I'm sure there are those on this thread who are passable.

Agree yellowraincoat. The huffing is just an attempt at a put-down, not a comment with any substance. Not that different from the builders' comments really!

It's true, StepOutOfSpring. I don't really see the point in replying if you're just trying to shut other posters up.

Maybe it hits a raw nerve. Certainly feels that way sometimes.

yellowraincoat it was me that said 'Oh for God's sake', because I find it ridiculous that posters are suggesting that the OP is being unreasonable to enjoy wolfwhistles. I never mentioned anything at all about anyone else being unreasonable to dislike them. I don't recall trying to 'shut other posters up'

I'm not suggesting the OP is being unreasonable, I (personally) am suggesting the men are being incredibly unreasonable to treat women as pieces of meat to be whistled at in the first place. HTH.

madmomma - you may not have directly said it, but it is a very dismissive thing to say.

I find it hard to believe that, in a discussion in real life, people would say "oh for God's sake" in response to someone else's opinion.

I recently saw a young woman being whistled at by a group of builders on a new housing estate.

She looked annoyed and the comments quickly turned to 'prick-tease', 'why wear a tight skirt if you don't want attention', and 'fucking bitch'!

So just bear in mind that they aren't all friendly :(

yes I dismissed the OP's concern. I was not dismissive of anyone else. Why is OP unreasonable to enjoy wolfwhistles, just because some others don't?

Safmellow, she should have reported them to the site manger. When you are younger though you often think you have to just accept it or that you are overreacting and being too weak or precious. Wish more women would challenge and report it if they don't like it.

i thought the whistles had stopped because builders were now more aware that it may be seen as unwanted attention by some not me anymore

it would make my day too