to find excuses to walk past the builders working down the road because i'm secretly flattered by them whistling at me?

[mumofbumblebea]

and they are not even good looking?
I have self-esteem issues, don't I?

just to clarify, i think its completely inappropriate if the girls are in school uniform. we live near a college and a lot of the teenagers from there walk past our street and i haven't heard noticed the builders whistling to them. if they did my attitude towards it would be different.
as i said don't think they're a bad bunch, just probably not that up-to-date

grimbletart you're lying, they do it because i am clearly stunning. i bloody wish

I don't think age has anything to do with it (the builders' age I mean). My uncle is 50, my dad 60 and I am quite sure neither of them whistle at women while at their jobs (both mechanics).

Mumsnet has definitely changed - just a few months ago a topic like this would be overrun with Stern MN Feminists giving Firm Lectures on how Beastly This All Is, and everyone would be nodding guiltily while eyeing out the teenage boys sauntering down the street outside

No one seems to have posted this yet:

leftycartoons.com/street-harassment/

I also strongly recommend people who think it's harmless fun, a bit of banter, people who don't like it are 'pc gone mad' to read this site:

ldn.ihollaback.org/

Personally I loathe it. It feeds this idea that women and their appearance are public property, and that by going out we are fair game to be approached, commented on, judged. I don't think that every man who does this is doing so in an offensive way, or has any idea that they might be seen as intimidating or even just unwelcome, but it aids this negative culture. What REALLY pisses me off is remembering that I used to find it flattering when I was 13 - 15 - how messed up is it that at that age my self confidence was tied up in what strange men thought of my looks. It still sometimes happens now (aged 24) and I'd love to say something but generally (especially when alone, which is when they normally do it)I don't dare in case it turns nasty.

You must be pretty desperate for complements.

I hate pathetic men who feel the need to intimidate women like that, we're not all whores like those who gag for that type of attention. I have the right to walk down the street without being pestered by perverts and have gotten builders on a nearby site fired for that behaviour. Just because some women have no self respect doesn't mean that I will accept being treated that way, they can find those who want it and do whatever they like to them but they better stay the fuck away from me.

GirlWithTheMousyHair these are for you - inadequate as they are.

I don't like it and don't seek it and would think less of any man who did this - but then I'm clearly odd in being very comfortable and happy with myself and not needing random male sexual attention to feel valued.

high five bobbledunk

YABU. The other side of the coin is that if people think it's OK to shout/whistle at women, if they see someone they think isn't attractive they make that known too So please don't encourage them!

Must say I was pretty amazed earlier at how few women on this thread objected to men doing this.

As somone else said times have certainly changed on here . . .

I do remember the days when it was important to me that random men found me attractive.

Then I went to uni, grew up, and stopped caring what other people thought about my appearance.

I'm a lot happier now, I must say.

Pffffft, how funny that some people get so upset about a twit twoo!

Heavens, I would certainly enjoy a bit of unrequited attention - let's me know I am not an invisible being that simply pushes a pram all day long. Doesn't make me love my DS or DH any less, just boosts my confidence a touch.

Same as being called a MILF. Bring it on, I say! And enjoy a bit of harmless fun FGS...

p.s. my best mate and I would refer to any nice looking builders/scafflders as a "quality bit of rough". hope that doesn't make me sound like a prententious wanker, but that's just the term we use and still do.

Golly littlemilla - I really just wouldn't know where to start with your post. I presume your DH isn't 'a quality bit of rough' though?

And I enjoy flirting but being leered at - well not so much.

Milla Do you really like being called a MILF??

I'd slap someone who called me that. There's a compliement or a shy look as a man wallks past and there's being disrespectful. It's possible to treat a woman like a lady as well as finding her attractive.

Excuse the typo.

It's nearly always tongue in cheek though, no?

I've always enjoyed banter and if there's a clumsy compliment in there, so what? Why not take it for what it is and carry on with your day??

I can recall a few situations in my working life where I have felt demeaned (sp), but never from a whistle (or cheeky comment from butcher etc).

I am in NO WAY like that woment that was in the mail recently, btw. Just find it all good humoured and funny. For the most part.

Mmm. Hilarious

I got asked if I fancied a shag by a youth driving past in a car. My self-esteem sky rocketed! (not really, I felt pretty vulnerable and walked on quickly, a bit worried that he would come back for me)

Mother I'd like to fuck. That's not a compliment. Not even a back handed one.

I am not easily intimidated, but the thing that makes me wary of any group of men, be they lads on a night out, builders on a scaffold or whatever, is the pack mentality. It makes them think they can get away with saying something they would never dream of saying if they were on their own, and can easily turn aggressive if you don't simper, smile and go along with it. I wouldn't want it to happen to my daughter, my teenage niece or my best friend.

Mrscampbell I agree. It is quite shocking in many ways.

Totally agree.

If you told them to fuck off you'd get a barrage of abuse cos 'who'd fancy an ugly slag like you, yer fat lesbian' etc.

Last time I had it it was a group of workmen on their way to work talking about me as I walked in front of them. Horrible. It's not a compliment at all.

Yep my friends and I used to get cross and it was shite..

Agree with Grimble it's men showing off to each other.