to find excuses to walk past the builders working down the road because i'm secretly flattered by them whistling at me?

[mumofbumblebea]

and they are not even good looking?
I have self-esteem issues, don't I?

handbag i have no ida why i'm flattered, hence the AIBU post

If you walked into a hospital, or school and the male staff whistled/shouted comments would you be cool with that?

Yes, and YABU! HTH.

I've been wolf-whistled, and had friendly nice comments shouted at that have made me give a quick grin back. They genuinely felt like compliments. And the fit builder driving past me on the kings road a few years ago who beeped, rolled own his window said "you are BEAUTIFUL" and then drove on....I curse the fact it was the one time in the world traffic on the Kings Road was moving at a decent pace, I would have quite happily made friends with him.

I've also had nasty, derogatory comments shouted at me. There is a difference, and there is no harm in being complimented by pleasant friendly attention while condemning unpleasant aggressive attention, I don't think it has to be an automatically awful thing.

'cos of it's ok for builders, let's have it everywhere...

When I taught in London, I was whistled at by a builder on a site as I walked to work every day for a week, despite my disapproving glare.
He got a close-up a fortnight later at Parents' evening.
'Oh, you are Darren's father? Hmmm.'

Some women enjoy it, some don't. That's diversity and free will in action, however irritated it makes some. I don't like it, but there's a difference between a whistle and harassment in my mind.

lovecat not sure about rules regarding builders. they could be dodgy, not my builders so have no idea.

I saw a very young girl looking uncomfortable as a couple of builders shouted at her. She was waiting in a car park for her mum who drove up, saw what was going on and shouted "she's 14 you paedo cunts." I wanted to applaud her!

God is this a real thread on a parenting site for adults? Cringe

Any worse than women lusting after teenagers and posting at length about it?
There's a lot of odd stuff on here.

Blergh, I hate it. Makes me feel so uncomfortable.

I used to be a bit of a snazzy dresser, but now I don't dress up unless I'm with my partner. Just too sick of sleazy comments.

Maybe some enjoy it, I just find it too grim for words.

they look mostly in their late 50s. they're the sort that wolf-whistle at women in their 20s and 30s and but then will help old ladies walk past the site (they are lowering the pavement outside as well). i don't think they're particularly creepy, just that political correctness hasn't caught up with them yet.
fallen your story made me giggle

Someone once shouted at me from a car, whilst I was walking along the path with my newborn baby in her pushchair..."eh love, fancy another one?"

I used to hate men whistling at me. I still do to an extent because I blush in an instant but since I've pushed past 30 I must admit I do like it slightly more. Not the ogling or shouting by builders, but the discreet look men sometimes give me when they think I can't see them, for instance when I've walked past them I'll notice them look back.

Oooooh ooh ooh I don't get beeped at much when I'm running but once I totally got beeped by two blonde ladies in a Porsche. Start of a porn movie right there.

noddy yes it is, posted by a 25yo mother of two :) must be having one of my immature days...cringe away

Oh i hate it, absolutely disgusting. Degrading. Because it no longer happens to me

So those of you who think its fine -will you be encouraging your sons to do this?

My son will probably do worse things than whistle at a woman in his life.

However, as he wants to be a cosmologist or an astrophysicist, it's probably not going to happen quite like the OP.

No, my son doesn't do it, he'd find it invasive and odd.
I am prepared to beat lust-crazed housewives into retreat having read some very inappropriate threads about opinions held on fit teenagers.

And no, I wouldn't post something that flippant in FWR.

YANBU

But I dare you to post this on Feminism

I don't like it, I never have. I think the men that do this whistle at anything and it draws unwanted attention.

I suppose you're not being unreasonable if you like that sort of thing, OP, but it's awfully difficult for those of us who don't like it and don't find it in any way flattering. We don't seem to have the choice as women and I don't like that at all.

Comments with sincerity can be lovely - I was chatted up by an elderly man who complimented me on my turquoise swimsuit, saying how it perfectly matched my eyes (which are green)... oh well. Lovely man anyway and I hope I made him smile as much as he made me smile.

I can walk past a dozen builders not working and not feel in the slightest like whistling at them. Why can't they get on with their work and do the same?

I think perhaps it comes down to having been whistled at and grabbed all the time from the age of 11 onwards. That should be against the law, I was a child, much as I looked older. Is that ok with some of the ladies here who enjoy such attention? What if it were your daughter? I ask because the men that do this have no respect and no discernment. They don't care how it makes a woman - or girl - feel.

Thank goodness for the building site rules, long overdue and very welcome for many of us, I think.

Lying - that was my point earlier re. young women. I used to get whistled at etc when in uniform and it was horrid - it made me feel very vulnerable.

And its not as though its easy to tell someones age from a distance.

And I would be utterly mortified if my son's ever thought that was an appropriate thing to do to a woman. And it really is a world away from flirtation.

I think the building site law was a good thing, clear, simple and unambiguous.

yy MrsCampbellBlack, that's how I felt too. Not confident to deal with it and it used to put me in a terrible mood. I'm sure that's why I pleaded with my doctor for - and got - a breast reduction at age 15. I wish I'd had my 'adult head' then, because I wouldn't have had it done and would have stood my ground.

It's really horrible. For the women who like it and don't feel intimidated, well good for you - but unfortunately, for some of us, it's a very different story.

A lot of it has little to do with the woman and her looks. She might look like the north end of a south bound cow and still be whistled and leered at. It's more of a male bonding ritual really - boys showing off together, a bit like male gorillas beat their chest.

I totally agree grimbletart and lyingwitch.