AIBU to be annoyed at a so called female 'friend' demanding to go on my fiancee's stag do?

[RidingHood]

We are getting married next month and as such my husband to be is having a stag night on the 16th - he has a small group of male friends and they will be going on the stag do along with male members of both our families.

One problem is that one of his friend's girlfriend has invited herself to the stag party and I am not particularly happy about this. My fiancee has insisted that she mentioned going with them and he didn't say she could or couldn't but she claims that he said she was more than welcome.

I told him he had to put her straight but instead he got his best man to tell her, and I have now heard all sorts about her calling me a b**ch and basically calling me behind my back - but I really don't think it is unreasonable of me to expect the stag party to be purely male.

She doesn't have any female friends (which makes me wary in the first place) and all the other guys seem to be backing her and saying 'she's one of the lads'. She has even invited one of the other boys fiancees to the party as well - which it is not her place to do so.

So am I being overly insecure or unreasonable or am I right to stand my ground and expect a traditional and respectful approach? I just want everything to be proper!

is everyone forgetting she called the bride/op a bitch?

if i was df i wouldn't want someone anywhere near me who called my df that.

also when you are married your dw opinions matters dh would not do anything i was not happy with and visa versa.

I'm not surprised she called the OP a bitch because I called my friend's wife a few choice names myself :o Difference was, I wasn't stupid enough to call her names to anyone who would blab it back

It is really, really hurtful to be excluded from something like that on a spiteful whim. I'm not specifically talking about the OP's situation here as there may be other factors (there was a bit of mysterious hinted drip-feeding) but when a longterm friend excludes you and you find out it was petty jealousy from the missus was the main factor - it does smart a bit.

And I agree 'DW''s opinion matters - but then I love and trust my husband enough not to put him in that situation, assuming he wanted a close female friend there. FRIEND being the operative word.

the woman involved was not the friend her dh was. if she was a freind not a partner the situation would be different.

Actually in fairness to the OP I've been sidetracked by Feak's post which rang a bell! In this case I'm not sure the girl is a friend of the DH or just his mate's girlfriend rather than his actual friend.

X-posted Bucket :)

Well I'm going to stick up for the OP on this one. It's a stag do, not a mixed do. (I happen to not like either, DH had a day of white water rafting, meal, pub. I went for a meal with 2 friends.)

If it's a stag or hen do, it's a stag or hen do, or everyone goes out together. I too would be mightily pissed off if other women went on the stag do and I couldn't, especially if the other woman was calling me names behind my back.

It's got nothing to do with jealousy.

I'm also pretty sure that some of the other guys going on the stag do won't want women along, Men change/moderate their behaviour around women and I'm quite sure they would be worried about details of their antics getting out. I don't mean that in a bad sense, stripping, hookers, etc more, alcohol consumed, chat etc. If she's already being indiscreet calling the OP a bitch, what else is she going to mouth off about?

Have to say, I find it very telling that the rest of the fellas backed her up

YANBU, cheeky cow to invite herself in the first place

she was not invited she invited herself.BIG difference. then she lashes out, sounds like a lovely person

If she was friends with the H2B I'm not surprised she lashed out. But reading it again it does seem more like she's just the GF of H2B's friend which does make it more odd - can only assume she is worried about what her own DP will get up to...! :o

just saw she took it upon herself to invite others too. sounds like a bossy mare. probably has no female freinds cause they are sick of her trying to call the shots all the time, and men dont have the balls to stand up to her cause she is a woman.

Non of your buisness it's his stag do.

If you don't trust him why the he'll are you marrying him

Or maybe she just didn't think it mattered at all?

Ffs the woman isn't a friend of the groom.

I have no problem with women going to stag do's if they are friends of the stag or vice versa, if my dp decided to invite all his female friends on his night out thats up to him, I have male friends who were my friends before I met DP I would invite them on my hen night

but in this case she was NOT invited as a friend she is not even a friend of op df but a gf of one of the invited guests and she invited herself,

I think the scenario was more likely something like this....

Either she or one of the others mentioned something about her coming along. Remember your DF's friends are backing her and consider her 'one of the lads' so they obviously see her as a friend.

Your DF probably said "Yes, the more the merrier" (or words to that effect) and so she said she'd come along with another friend.

Then your DF tells you and you get the hump so he tells his Best Man to uninvite her.

Is it any wonder she's annoyed? No matter how the scenario went, one minute she was going out on a stag do with people who consider her to be their friend and now she isn't because you don't want her to.

Have to say, I find it very telling that the rest of the fellas backed her up- No they didn't, her DF told her she couldn't come there and then, but she insisted.

I agree with the OP. It's very bad form to invite yourself to a stag or hen if you have not been asked and are not a friend of the bride or groom. The woman in question is the DF of one of the men invited so it's not like the OP is breaking a lifelong friendship between this woman and her DH.

The woman then CRIES when told she is not invited AND stops her DF from going as well!

Um, as other posters have said, this woman is the control freak, not the OP. She also doesn't seem to have boundaries, cried when she can't get her own way, then "bans" her partner from a stag night. Nightmare!

Well we're all slagging this poor woman off because apparently she invited herself

It might not have happened like that since she's friends with everyone else...they probably wanted her to come.

It sounds to me like the DF isn't fussed one way or another to be fair.

YouOld the OP said that the rest of the gang backed her up

I think I'd have more fun at a stag night than a hen do TBH. Is there a law saying women can't go on stag nights?