AIBU to be annoyed at a so called female 'friend' demanding to go on my fiancee's stag do?

[RidingHood]

We are getting married next month and as such my husband to be is having a stag night on the 16th - he has a small group of male friends and they will be going on the stag do along with male members of both our families.

One problem is that one of his friend's girlfriend has invited herself to the stag party and I am not particularly happy about this. My fiancee has insisted that she mentioned going with them and he didn't say she could or couldn't but she claims that he said she was more than welcome.

I told him he had to put her straight but instead he got his best man to tell her, and I have now heard all sorts about her calling me a b**ch and basically calling me behind my back - but I really don't think it is unreasonable of me to expect the stag party to be purely male.

She doesn't have any female friends (which makes me wary in the first place) and all the other guys seem to be backing her and saying 'she's one of the lads'. She has even invited one of the other boys fiancees to the party as well - which it is not her place to do so.

So am I being overly insecure or unreasonable or am I right to stand my ground and expect a traditional and respectful approach? I just want everything to be proper!

Pictish I don't think it's fair to lay the blame at the OP's door. The woman in question was, IMO, out of order for inviting herself. From what I can gather she wasn't invited, she put the OP's DP on the spot by inviting herself.

Sorry "DH2B isnt the type..."

Doesn't matter if she invited herself. If the stag was agreeable at the time, it is very rude to go back at a later date and un-invite.

You are being really offensive PICTISH, the OP has done nothing wrong and you are roasting her!

I take it you make sure that you get your arse into any stag nights going?!

If both couples do boycott the stag party I really think you're better off without them. What ridiculous childish behaviour!
And why would the gf think it's ok to invite herself to the STAG do anyway? The clue's in the name

But it's also the height of rudeness to invite yourself. Why did she not wait to be asked. Because she knew she wouldn't be asked. And the groom to be was probably too polite to say she couldn't come. Sorry but she sounds a proper trouble maker to me. I thought stag do's were male only. I must be behind the times.

Tell the other gfs/ wives and suggest a joint party. That should sort it out, or at least tell your df thats the fairest solution.

I dont think he knew quite what to say to her when they were all in a pub (all the boys and her) and she just states that she is coming.

As I said before if I'd known it would cause this much shit, I'd never have said anything - but we have a very open and honest relationship so of course I told him if it made me feel uncomfortable. I didnt demand that he uninvited her!

He could've said "Sorry, lads only" if he wanted - no-one would've blinked an eye at that.
He didn't...he said fine, come along.

Just because the Stag didnt say "No, you are not invited" when she invited herself, doesnt mean that he was agreeable.

Not saying no doesnt mean a yes. The OP has already said he is shy and reserved so he probaly didnt know what to say in the face of limpet girls rudeness.

I didn't get the impression that the H2B was agreeable - he seems to have said he didn't think this girl should go but appears to be too reserved/shy to spell it out?

I wonder what the girl's boyfriend thinks of all this? Can't imagine he would be too happy about his girlfriend inviting herself along surely?

Oh she's done with me. I'm a fucking controlling bitch.

I've never been on a stag night, no.

I don't see what the big deal with her going on the stag do actually IS though...the OP has caused massive waves with her protest over bugger all that is nothing to do with her in the first place.

Did he say "Fine, come along"?

I thought he said "I don't think you should come"?

From what my HTB says, when she made that statement in the pub, it was her partner that said 'No don't be silly, of course you can't come on the stag night' and then that was it, so he didn't need to say anymore.

Next thing he knows she's invited this other girl to go with her...so he asked the BM to say something and then she kicked off.

But a stag night is just that - a stag night. For men.

My point exactly. And if they can go, then so can I, which totally negates the point of the 'stag night'

I've got a group of make friends and we were actually talking about this at the weekend, and agreed that I would be on the stagger as I am indeed "one of the lads".

I don't see anything wrong at all with it if a female is solely friends with the stag, why should she go on the henny with a lot of women she doesn't know?

really thing you are overreacting here OP.

So your H2B never invited her and she was told by her boyfriend not to come.

Then the BM also told her.

She sounds a bit mad.

Because it's a Stag do. Women go on Hen parties. That's the point.

she claims that he said she was more than welcome

Is she lying then?

She sounds like a trouble maker. I wouldn't give her a second thought. And if her boyfriend can't stand up for himself and come to the stag do anyway that's his lookout.

I think it did need addressing tbh.

Her behaviour is way more controlling than anything the op has done.

Bet the replies would be completely different if ops friends husband was insisting on coming to the hen

Daisy she's not the stag's friend - she's a girlfriend of a friend.

Well, even if I was good friends with a bloke I wouldn't want to go on a stag night that may involve strippers/go-carting/paint-balling/insert activity of choice and a lot of very heavy drinking etc.