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AIBU?

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Original poster

This is what a 15 year old has just posted on face book to my 76 year old MIL

436 replies

RabidAnchovy · 26/05/2012 20:29

I HAVE TOLD THE SCHOOL, I AM GOING TO SPEAK TO HIS MOTHER AND i THINK MIL SHOULD CTELL THE POLICE.

AIBU to think what a vile excuse for a child

If you're loving your pension keep your mouth shut. your name reminds me of something .. AN ESCAPED OLD PEOPLE'S HOME OLD WOMAN WHO HAS MADE A FACEBOOK ACCOUNT THOUGHT SHE'D DO THE OLD EXPERIENCED LIFE LIVER THING AND TRY BE FUNNY WHO HAS A ALBUM CALLED 'My eye' HAS SAGGY OLD TITS HASN'T HAD SEX SINCE THE POPE WAS ALIVE.
shut up you old bag, I'd put my dick in your arse and fuck you till you love me

OP posts:
OhNoMyFanjo · 30/05/2012 22:19

WhereYouLeftIt Wed 30-May-12 12:23:38
"Somehow the argument for changing security settings remind me of the way that people proclaim that women who dress a certain way deserve what they get ."

Totally agree.

I don't know why this boy has chosen to post tge comment that he did, I don't know if he has suffered himself, has other problems, is a criminal waiting to pounce but I do know that his reply to an elderly lady was totally off the scale and should not go unchallenged. He should not think it is ok to say that to anyone.

EldritchCleavage · 31/05/2012 00:34

Novak are you daftpunk in disguise? (Genuine questions)

EldritchCleavage · 31/05/2012 00:34

Sorry, question

OhNoMyFanjo · 31/05/2012 07:51

NovackNGood do you think that gaming could have had an influence here? Afterall I'm told some can be violent and promote an unhealthy attitude towards women, what do you think?

FallenCaryatid · 31/05/2012 07:57

'The boy may well have asperger's or other factors.'

AAAAAARRRRGGGG!

Original poster
RabidAnchovy · 31/05/2012 08:10

My DS1 has mild asperger's and does not and would not behave like this.
As far as I know and I have known this boy since play group there is no SN.

I find it very sad that the moment someone does something vile someone thinks they must have SN, yes some people with SN can be vile same as some people of any group you wish to mention.

DS1 has avoided the boy at school so far.

OP posts:
TartyMcFarty · 31/05/2012 08:16

Novack, as a secondary school teacher, I would want the police to be aware of this boy's potential as a threat, since he would be in regular contact with the girls (and boys - he sounds like a menace) I teach.

Are you aware that very soon he will be subject to a CRB check should he decide to work with young people? I would want to know about this.

NovackNGood · 31/05/2012 12:31

Please try to use your skills in English comprehension?

Which part of: No where did I defend the boys words. If you read, I said I was not sitting in judgement.
or or other factors. Or may just be going through a 15 year olds rebelious state did you find difficult to comprehend.

The ad hominem and straw man arguments you are throwing my way are becoming rather tedious. I understand you are all baying for his downfall and flogging in the town square. Your right bring back the birch.

As I wrote earlier all you who are judging him are also acting as he did calling him scrote, c*@t, little twat, calling for vigilante violence etc. And yet you are supposed to be adults (and claiming to be wonderful parents) and he is an immature boy. Two wrongs do not make a right.

The original point I made was do you really think the inane ramblings of idiots on facebook is worth criminalising youth.

TartyMcfarty as for CRB checks I thought the conservatives were having a sensible review of that nonsense system.

mistlethrush · 31/05/2012 12:47

If its so tedious Novak, why continue to post your comments here?

Clearly there is a completely different point of view that you have from most posters here, we appreciate that.

Perhaps 'inane ramblings' should not be taken into consideration - but where do you mark the line if something that someone has put out on a public forum that is so disgusting is allowed? Should the same teenager be 'allowed' to, for instance, expose himself in public to 6 yos or 76yos and have the defense that its 'just because he's an immature boy' ?

A 15yo should have a clear grasp of what is acceptable and what is not acceptable behavior. He's not that far off being an adult. Clearly he has had no such sense instilled into him to date and one can only hope that a visit from the police will help to get him to understand that there are boundaries and that he cannot behave unacceptably with impunity. If he gets away with this sort of behavior without any repercussions, what lesson do you think that is going to give to him? That its perfectly acceptable to go round threatening pensioners?

Tanith · 31/05/2012 12:55

Novack. Sorry - in that rant, I failed to find your retraction and apology to young people with Asperger's. Like my DS, who wouldn't dream of behaving like this. Did I miss it, or are you ignoring what you said, hoping it'll go away?

Posters are picking you up on what you said - and so far, you've come out with a right old load of rubbish that deserves to be challenged.

Op, equally shocked at how a 15 year old can threaten an old lady like this. Hope she's ok.

WhosPickleisThatOnion · 31/05/2012 12:58

You seem to be the only poster seeing this as inane ramblings. Novack

mistlethrush agree totally

OhNoMyFanjo · 31/05/2012 14:19

The original point I made was do you really think the inane ramblings of idiots on facebook is worth criminalising youth.

Definition of inane -
Adjective:
Silly; stupid; not significant.

Novack - really? You wouldn't care or be bothered if comments about anal rape were directed at your mother, your sister, your wife?

NovackNGood · 31/05/2012 14:46

OhNoMyFanjo being bothered or caring are not the same as posing the question of do people want an obviously immature child criminalised when many other avenues are open and I'd include son, brother, husband in that list?

OhNoMyFanjo · 31/05/2012 14:50

Answer a question with a question much?

OhNoMyFanjo · 31/05/2012 15:02

How can you decide from what you have read that he is 'obviously immature'? How do you know that?

NovackNGood · 31/05/2012 15:12

The boy is 15 and his amygdala will most certainly not be fully developed QED immature-not fully developed. Which is exactly why some neuroscientist and lawyers are pushing for the age of criminal responsibility to be increased as more is known about brain development with age.

mistlethrush · 31/05/2012 15:24

What is clear Novak is that the 15yo has absolutely no moral compass at the present time. What's going to happen if he is allowed to continue living without any concept of what is and what isn't appropriate? Its clearly out of control at the moment - will he suddenly develop one when he hits the age of 18?

Rindercella · 31/05/2012 15:25

Novack, chucking in terms such as ad hominem and amygdala do not make you appear intelligent; if anything, the reverse is true. It can be said that in some cases, a little knowledge is dangerous.

WhosPickleisThatOnion · 31/05/2012 15:28

The police are going to his house and giving him a ticking off Novack.

That's all the OP actually wanted. It might actually do him a little bit of good.

You seem to be just looking for arguments anyway on any little minor point that takes your fancy.

Maybe you should answer the points raised about aspergers before you find anything new to query.

OhNoMyFanjo · 31/05/2012 16:03

some is an important word here, some children who express these sorts of vile acts will also go on to perform them. It should never be a blanket excuse.

bigjoeent · 31/05/2012 16:28

From reading the thread, the majority of posters are not suggesting that the boy should be prosecuted or have a criminal conviction, they are suggesting that a visit from the police to stress the seriousness of what he has done would be appropriate.

Given what he has written, I would infer that his intention was to humilate and scare an old lady. When his behaviour has been challenged he hasn't reconsidered and apologised but upped the ante and reacted with violence. No one, children included, should think that this behaviour is appropriate and without consequences. The majority of children at this age would not behave in this manner.

I think that the OP has acted in a very restrained manner and I am glad that the school and police are treating it seriously, it should be. I agree with a lot of the posters who have already said that this behaviour should be challenged at this age, not at a later age when potentially he could be committing more serious acts.

Eggrules · 31/05/2012 16:38

Your poor MIL.

I hope the Police let you know how their chat went.

GinPalace · 31/05/2012 16:58

OP - I haven't read whole thread but most of your posts. I think you have reacted exactly as you should and have dealt with it really well. I think you have been dignified and furious - which is spot on. Pat on the back for you.

I hope the boy realises that his behaviour was wrong and feels some remorse.

I find it disgusting that someone could even think those thoughts never mind actually communicate them!

I hope you let us know how the head and his mum have handled it as I am rooting for your multi-pronged approach having some discernible effect - noticeable consequences if not actual regret for him!

Is your MIL ok? :)

Puffinsaresmall · 31/05/2012 17:17

"I find it very sad that the moment someone does something vile someone thinks they must have SN, yes some people with SN can be vile same as some people of any group you wish to mention".

This ^^^ exactly.

And yes Novack, are you DP? Because its really not funny now Hmm

AGiraffeUnderTheFloorBoards · 31/05/2012 17:19

You do this 15 yo no favours by ignoring his appalling comments or by putting them down to teenage high jinx. A serious chat from the police and his Headmaster might be exactly what he needs to make him realise his actions have consequences. If he had any worries about his mother reprimanding him I doubt he'd have posted this sort of comments - so someone else has to step in. He won't get a criminal record - if that was going to happen I can't see the police would not have waited 5 days to pay him a visit.

Far from ruining his life this could be the watershed moment that means he sorts his life out. Our courts don't distinguish between what's said on a social network site and RL. The sooner he realises this the better.

Another well done OP from me.