This is what a 15 year old has just posted on face book to my 76 year old MIL

[RabidAnchovy]

I HAVE TOLD THE SCHOOL, I AM GOING TO SPEAK TO HIS MOTHER AND i THINK MIL SHOULD CTELL THE POLICE.

AIBU to think what a vile excuse for a child

If you're loving your pension keep your mouth shut. your name reminds me of something .. AN ESCAPED OLD PEOPLE'S HOME OLD WOMAN WHO HAS MADE A FACEBOOK ACCOUNT THOUGHT SHE'D DO THE OLD EXPERIENCED LIFE LIVER THING AND TRY BE FUNNY WHO HAS A ALBUM CALLED 'My eye' HAS SAGGY OLD TITS HASN'T HAD SEX SINCE THE POPE WAS ALIVE.
shut up you old bag, I'd put my dick in your arse and fuck you till you love me

Marianne - so its OK is it that that 'child' threatened a 76 yo with anal rape?

Threatened - bollocks!

Children say all sorts of stupid things! It is not fair to potentially get him a criminal record because of this.

My sympathies are always with the "children" (as you say).

Marianne - Nobody agrees with you. Sorry about that

Marianne, you are either joking or mad.

Miss this opportunity to change this lad's behaviour and he will one day be a sexual offender. I know of no man who would say such a thing to any woman let alone an old lady. It's not a normal comment for a teenage lad. Anyone thinking it is, has very skewed values.

It's not 'an insult'. The first part was insulting and pretty disgusting. The last sentence is a sexual threat. Yes he's a child but that does not mean he should be asked to sit on the naughty step for 15 minutes. His actions are serious enough to warrant a serious response.

Fail to deliver that now and you are giving a clear message to him that his attitude is ok. This will not be the first time he has made a sexually aggressive remark. I wonder what he says about his own mother

sadly some people do agree with you which is why their are twatty parents around letting their children say things like this boy has.

TheDreadedFoosa

Is that supposed to bother me? Sorry to disappoint - I never did give a damn about the popular opinion - what MN is all about at the end of the day.

Your children may 'say all sorts of stupid things' like talking about anally raping a 76yo widow, but it is extremely far from normal.

Im very sorry for you, marianne, if you thought that it was and i am very sorry for your children.

Maybe start a thread? There'll be tonnes of good advice for you about how to undo some of the damage your strange attitude will have caused your children.

I think the wider problem is that you do hear this sort of thing actually quite regularly. I have sat on buses and heard young boys talking in this way and had it directed at me too. It is hugely worrying but increasingly common.

and what are you supposed to do about it if you've got another 5 stops of a train journey to go? At least this is documented and so the school, mum and police can do something. Most verbal and sexual harassment goes completely unpunished and is therefore condoned.

That's by the by for the OP though, good on you for taking it further, I am sorry your MIL has had to be exposed to something so vile.

Marianne, your sympathies lie with a child who says to an elderly woman that he would "put my dick in your arse and fuck you till you love me"? Really? I mean really?

If a 15 year old boy I knew said this I would be seriously concerned for him. I don't think I would be feeling terribly sympathetic towards him: in fact, sympathy would probably be one of the last emotions I was feeling, child or not.

Was it definitely posted by this boy acting on his own? I agree it isn't normal, but to me it's so bizarre that I think it more likely a gang of teenage boys were huddled round a computer egging each other on to write ruder and ruder stuff until one of them sent it.
If it was one boy then yes he sounds unpleasant and a brush with the police is going to happen sooner or later with that attitude.
He was down as one of the OP's son's "friends" though so I presume he isn't just an evil toe-rag but someone the son liked or was happy to have as a friend.
I'd want to know more about the boy and why he posted it before joining the daily mail type hysteria.

DH is a police officer and he thinks instances such as this should be reported.

Left unchallenged, kids such as this one often escalate their misdemeanours.

The parents don't always know what their little darlings are up to and DH is guided by the reaction from the parents.

If it's clear discipline will be metered by them this is sometimes enough.

The severity of the comment here though DH would be looking to at least caution he young guy.

So Marianne, what would you propose?

Marianne if your teenage "child" spoke to my 75 year old mother like that l would do everything in my power to get them into the worst trouble possible.

This has angered me so much. The thread is about a nasty little shit threatening to rape an old lady.....horrific!

And most of this thread is made up of people going on about settings on fb and who's friend with who. And how police must be contacted when they already have. And op coming under fire for being hysterical!?? And overprotective of her children!?? ... FFS read the post properly! Be suitable shocked at the nature of it and lay off Op!!

Here, here Buglove. Somehow the argument for changing security settings remind me of the way that people proclaim that women who dress a certain way deserve what they get .

That anyone should deem it ever acceptable to behave in this way is beyond me, ultimately it's not about security settings really is it?

Hope the outcome is effective and of some consolation (if possible) Rabid. Poor MIL, DS and you! Horrible.

I don't like any kind of lynch mob mentality, least of all where children are concerned, but recent posters are being unfair to the Op here, I feel. She has RL experience of how difficult this boy can be, which no doubt informed her judgment that she needed to take action rather than let it go. And she is not pushing for him to be charged, only to be spoken to. I don't think that's disproportionate or unreasonable. Given he has reacted by punching her DS, he does seem to need some moral guidance from somewhere.

If the OP didn't do anything and in the years to follow, this boy went on to act out some of his vile words on an unsuspecting victim; we would all wish that someone had spotted something in his character or behaviour and stepped in.

The OP had an opportunity to set an example to the boys and her ds's peers and potentially raise the alarm about this young man.

Was going to post simlar ro Buglove so won't repeat.

Some of the attitudes shown here give a hint of the reason why there are teenagers out there who behave like they do, without an ounch of thought.

Fifteen is not a child, true they are not a adult either, but at fifteen they are capable of being a rapist. A threat to rape should be brushed off, at fifteen a person should know threaten violence is not acceptable (as should a grown woman posting on here).

There's little hope for their future if at 15 you take it all as acceptable because they are a 'child' if they have their attitude taken as acceptable. Do you think they'll suddenly on the eve of thier eighteenth birthday and realise?

Hopefully with the police are iinvolved and speak to him at fifteen this boy will realise just how unacceptable and serious it is. This isn't a reaction over a saggy tit comment.

This boy's post to an old lady wasn't an insult, it was until the threat to anally rape. I am unable to say if the OP would have involved the police if that hadn't been part of what he wrote, but some how I doubt it.

Rabid, this has been a horrific experience for you all, and I think you have dealt with it in a sensible dignified manner. You should be proud of yourself. I really hope that boy is suitably punished...I just couldn't imagine how his mum must feel.

NovackNGood - can I ask if you are male? Just wondered if tgat was why you were viewing this so different.

MarianneM I suppose you would feel this boy should get away with it if it were a racist or homophobic thing he posted?

I think a lot of the trouble today with kids carrying on in an unacceptable manner is there will always be someone somewhere who is so misguided and trying to be "down wiv da kidz" that they defend and normalize vileness, or parents that think little darling can do no wrong, very very sad really.

If it were one of my children posted such a thing the LAST thing they would need to worry about was a chat from the local police officers it would be me.

I am guess you would like to form a hugging circle round this "child" and chant.
Yoy do not have to like my actions, but hell get over it and go away take a look at the real world and wise up there's a love