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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want my children to be with me at my sisters wedding.

168 replies

themaltbycrew · 25/05/2012 19:59

My sister is getting married 2moro and is being VERY bridezilla. She has just told me that there is no room for children during the sit down meal. They will be with a childrens entertainer in a separate room!!

This doesnt sit well with me at all. Ive not met this entertainer, so they are a stranger to me and my children. plus being in another room where I wont be able to even see them. My youngest is only 22months and very clingy.
She will scream. Ive told my sister this and she said its not debateable.

Am I unreasonable for hating this idea. My older two will be ok as they are 7 and 5 and it can be explained to them, but the baby just wont understand...

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 25/05/2012 20:03

oh wow!
that's kind of harsh isn't it? when will they eat?

very bizarre. i certainly would not be happy with it although to keep the peace i would probably take my meal into the room with hte kids!!!

SilverSky · 25/05/2012 20:03

Your sister will have much more important things on her mind than whether your 22mth is sitting with you during the meal. She will be swanning around mingling and chatting to people.

If she didn't want kids at the wedding she should have stated that from the outset and not had them there at all.

Perhaps she thinks she is doing the parents a favour so they can enjoy their meal etc which is fine if it suits you.

I really really wouldn't worry.

Ishoes · 25/05/2012 20:06

Personally I dont think dcs belong at weddings but I am a slatternly mother who leaves her dcs to cry

However YANBU if this is the first you have heard of this-you should have at least had the option of making other arrangements...

grobagsforever · 25/05/2012 20:06

Wow she expects you to leave your baby in the care of a random stranger? She is being vvv unreasonable. Tell her to fuck off to the far side of fuck.

Proudnscary · 25/05/2012 20:07

Tomorrow and she's just telling you this? Okaaaay. Sure about your details here? This would have to have been booked weeks or months in advance.

Original poster
themaltbycrew · 25/05/2012 20:09

She has children of her own an d doesnt think twice in palming them off on others... My children are with me or their dad when they are not in school. I think they are going to eat in theri own room together with a childrens menu.

I just thought it would be nice if I had a choice... if so I would choose to eat in the kids room..... The baby will just scream, she does when any stranger comes into our house (as my sister has seen first hand).. she hides if anyone she doesnt know talks to her... Im just glad she will have her brother and sister there.

OP posts:
Cassettetapeandpencil · 25/05/2012 20:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sirzy · 25/05/2012 20:09

If she had made this clear well in advance and given you time to make alternative arrangements if needed then fair enough but the day before the wedding isn't very fair when she must have known for a long time

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 25/05/2012 20:10

She's getting married tomorrow and this has only just come up?

HokeyCokeyPigInaPokey · 25/05/2012 20:10

I would not leave one of my dc's with someone i have never met before where i cannot see them.

She has probably had too much else to worry about and so hasn't really thought about it.

Cassettetapeandpencil · 25/05/2012 20:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AuntySib · 25/05/2012 20:12

Does the entertainer know that he/she is also a childminder for the duration?

AuntySib · 25/05/2012 20:12

Does the entertainer know that he/she is also a childminder for the duration?

TidyDancer · 25/05/2012 20:13

Well it's her right to have a childfree wedding, and at least she is providing a childcare choice for those who would like to come to the wedding but do not have a babysitter. You don't have to go along with this though, and if you choose not to, your sister must accept that it may equal you not being present at the meal.

Did she really just tell you the day before the wedding? How odd.

Pandemoniaa · 25/05/2012 20:14

I doubt that the children's entertainer is a "random stranger" so far as their safety around the OP's children is concerned. Unless her sister has deliberately employed a paedophile.

Having said this, I don't think that, at 22 months old, even my over very confident dcs would have willingly allowed themselves to be banished to a different room and left with someone they'd never clapped eyes on and who was clearly doing (what would come across to them at that age) as weird stuff. Because I'd be surprised at any entertainer who planned their routine around unaccompanied children under 2.

If the bride couldn't bear to share the same air as any children during the meal it'd have been rather more appropriate to lay on a creche staffed by someone who specialised in childcare. But even then, you'd expect to discover this arrangement rather earlier than the day before the actual wedding.

So YANBU in thinking this isn't a sound plan.

bobbledunk · 25/05/2012 20:15

yabu, it's not fair on the other people at your table to be stuck with your kids, especially the whingy one. Eat in the childrens part if you can't be away from them.

Trestle · 25/05/2012 20:15

YANBU

Ishoes · 25/05/2012 20:15

Your child screams when a stranger comes into the house?-hell mend you then-your sister probably thinks she is doing you a favour...

thisisyesterday · 25/05/2012 20:17

she isn't really providing childcare is she?
she's leaving a children's entertainer in charge of a whole load of kids who've never met him/her before

who else will bbe looking after them and ensuring the youngest ones have help with their meal etc etc??

it's just ridiculous

QueenEdith · 25/05/2012 20:17

If you can't leave her, then you face the prospect of sitting out with her.

How long is the proposed banishment? Better ask your sister when/where you will be able to eat.

Original poster
themaltbycrew · 25/05/2012 20:18

Im sure SHE has known for a while but this is the first IVE heard of it. She comments all the time on how I wont leave my children with strangers or randoms.. She thinks Im overprotective and blames me for my babys clingyness. (the others arnt clingy and they were all brought up the same)

Her children run riot while mine have manners and are polite. Im tempted to go and eat with the children in their room (im a nursery nurse and im sure I could probly lend a hand)x

OP posts:
EBDTeacher · 25/05/2012 20:23

You'd really leave your child crying, possibly frightened Ishoes?

How horrible.

Original poster
themaltbycrew · 25/05/2012 20:27

Not for one moment would I leave her frightened and alone. Im hoping beyond hope that she prooves me wrong and enjoys herself.. she has her brother and sister who are very protective of her. But if for one moment I think she needs me I will be there like a shot....

OP posts:
pumpkinsweetie · 25/05/2012 20:28

I would let the eldest go the entertainer and in would take 22m dd to the meal in a small pushchair, no-one will notice and your sister will be too busy to care.
22mo imo is too young to be left with a childs entertainer, she could wander off or anything.

Ishoes · 25/05/2012 20:29

Yes I would leave my kids crying-I dont do clingon kids Im afraid-kids get over it very quickly and if they come back at 18 and tell me how I have damaged themHmm....oh well

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