to want my children to be with me at my sisters wedding.

[themaltbycrew]

My sister is getting married 2moro and is being VERY bridezilla. She has just told me that there is no room for children during the sit down meal. They will be with a childrens entertainer in a separate room!!

This doesnt sit well with me at all. Ive not met this entertainer, so they are a stranger to me and my children. plus being in another room where I wont be able to even see them. My youngest is only 22months and very clingy.
She will scream. Ive told my sister this and she said its not debateable.

Am I unreasonable for hating this idea. My older two will be ok as they are 7 and 5 and it can be explained to them, but the baby just wont understand...

I'd play it all by ear but plan to take my plate into the room with the LOs.

They probably cry more because you leave them to cry. That'll be why they're clingy as you leave them.

I never understand the whole "you can fuck off and not come to my wedding because you're under 18. Bog off".

I'd sit with your 22 month old. Your sister is nuts.

YANBU. When my ds was 22 months there is no way he would be left in that environment. He would have screamed the place down. It sounds a bit risky as well unless the entertainer knows he's also going to be a baby sitter. My ds would have run for the hills and I would have been ridiculously anxious the whole time in case something went wrong. As far as I can see you have 3 options. 1) don't go. 2) eat your meal with the children 3) keep him at the table with you. Contact your sister, tell her this and ask her which option she would like to take.

I'm sorry Ishoes but your attitude makes me shudder.

I pick up the pieces of attachment disorders for a living and it isn't pretty.

Agree EBD

Hate it when people say kids don't belong at weddings. Kids are individuals. Some are a pain and some are all right. Very much like adults. Some adults don't belong at weddings IMHO.

serioously though, is it a creche, with an entertainer?

who will be supervising them while they eat?
does the entertainer know that no parents will be there?

must be dodgy insurance-wise i'd have thought unless she has got proper childcare arranged as well?

is the room close to where you'll be eating. she'll enjoy the sound of them scremaing for their parents while you eat.

Ishoes. I don't do clong-on kids either.

themalt, your sister's being unreasonable, not for the arrangement about children - her wedding, her choice to have them, not have them or accommodate them elsewhere - but for only telling you the day before the wedding. It looks like you have 3 choices. Accept the situation as it stands, sit with the DC for the duration of the meal or decline the invitation. Which will it be?

And BTW does your child really scream when strangers visit your house?

Also agree EBD

PMSL! Cling-on! Cling! I don't do cling on kids!

God forbid that your kid wants a cuddle when he's tired/hungry/ill/scared

I don't think the screaming thing is unusual. My ds also used to scream when strangers came to the house. I just let him take it at his own pace, and at 2.5 yrs he's fab now, really confident with strangers.

Tell your sister that your child/ren will be staying with you and that is not negotiable. What is she thinking telling you the day before?

"I don't think the screaming thing is unusual."

Bloody hell! I got lucky then?!

<a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=klingon+children&hl=en&sa=X&rlz=1C2AFAB_enGB455GB483&biw=1366&bih=643&tbm=isch&prmd=imvns&tbnid=haB2cTo58s86JM:&imgrefurl=jlpicard.blogspot.com/2007_06_01_archive.html&docid=uU_TQ0EA1hL8HM&imgurl=i56.photobucket.com/albums/g168/grahamofborg/Star%252520Trek/alexander.jpg&w=240&h=320&ei=oeC_T8OyK8L-8gOuw8HdCg&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=376&sig=100158285384442103210&page=1&tbnh=145&tbnw=132&start=0&ndsp=21&ved=1t:429,r:1,s:0,i:73&tx=50&ty=86" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Cling on kids?! Something like this Ishoes.

Why dont you leave your dcs home with someone?
Then you get a nice day, child free, your dcs will be happy and your sister will be happy o everyones a winner [smike]

And another here agreeing with EBD

willyou, that's brave advice. If someone told me that their children were staying with the adults at my wedding when I'd specifically said otherwise I'd tell them that they were no longer invited. (Mind you, if themalt's Dsis would do so too maybe that would kind of solve the problem.

Ooh i love these too
'totally normal for kids to scream when strangers enter house'! er no its not really

YANBU and I doubt you will be the only one feeling this way. I would think most people would not be happy with this arrangement, especially as I doubt she will have told some people before they even get to the venue if she has only just told you>

It won't be a problem! On the day , if they don't like it you either just sit her in your knee or you go along and sit with them.
We had one at our wedding- just for the speeches and it worked well. One father just went and sat with them- his choice- any who didn't like it could have stayed with the parent.

I assume you think you are making your kids resilient and strong?

You are not. You are raising their physiological stress levels which will compromise the development of their executive funtions (praxis/ attention/ inhibition etc). You are also failing to support them to process their emotions which will compromise the development of their emotional modulation and empathy.

They will either develop adaptive strategies in spite of you and be completely fine. Or not. You will just have to wait and see.

Oh, my ds has a few autistic tendencies so probably quite normal to him and many others like him. Well done to those of you that 'got lucky' then

And agree again EBD. Totally.

I pity that entertainer, its going to be fucking carnage in that room.

Im sure they will just all bust out in no time. I would just let the older ones in (if you think they will enjoy it) and keep the little one with you.