To insist my dd studies in addition to her schoolwork?

[ChopstheScarletduck]

DD clearly thinks I am. We've had this discussion a few times now. Apparently NOBODY else has to do extra work.

She is a solidly average student in general, but lacks motivation in subjects she does find harder, and has terrible organisational skills.

All the kids have been told they must do half an hours reading a day, from school age. The older two do maths and english in addition to that, so around an hour a day (age 11, 9)

I've now told dd I want her to do 90mins a day, which includes homework, reading and study. In the past I've even told her she can do music practice as part of that, but that didn't last very long. I help her with the aspects of her study she is struggling with, though on the whole it is independent study.

She seems to think she should be able rush her homework then hang out with her friends or sit in front of a screen all day, like everybody else does. I want her to work to achieve the grades I know she is capable of if she tries. Her homework is 100% better when she knows she can't get away with just rushing it, as she will just have to find something else to study in any case!

I know academic achievement isn't everything, and she has plenty of time left to do what she wants, and she does various clubs at school, Girls Brigade, a couple of youth clubs.

Please tell me I'm not really the only one who wants their dc to do a little work as well as play!

90 minutes on top of a school day?

90 minutes of top of a day at school and clubs and activities?

YABU.

She's a child. You don't get that back.

How old is she? You say the older ones are 9 and 11 so I presume she is younger than 9?? If so, 90 mins a day is a massive amount of extra work for her to have and if thats the case the personally I think YABU.

Apologies if I have this totally wrong!

My daughter does nothing when she gets home from school. She rushes her homework on the bus so she has nothing to do at home. She's just done her exams with 0 work done at home. If you find a way of making it happen, let me know.

Not unreasonable at all. Kids have to compete with the best in the world. You can be sure that kids in India and China are studing for a lot more than 90 minutes in the evening. No good letting kids play now and then having them wonder why they can't get a decent job in a few years time.

yes, so she is done by 5 and then has 3-4 hours free. Acutally this morning, she did half hour this morning - english I think, so will do around an hour this afternoon, 30 mins of which will prob be homework, and 30 mins reading.

How old is she? You refer to the 11 and 9 year old as the older two so I'm guessing she's 8 or below?

I think YAB massively U and controlling and pressuring.

She is 11, 12 next month, year 6 - Betty

Your DD is under 9 years old and you want her to do 90mins on top of a full day at school.

YABU. You will sap her thirst for education and she'll potentially go the other way.

The younger two are 7, and only do reading for 30 minutes. The 9 year old does reading for 30 minutes, and some maths and english, not every day.

All three of them do get homework on top of that, whereas, dd has 90 minutes to do homework AND independant study. So I don't think it is that much.

in my DS's school, they are expected 1/2 per day up to Year 4, and then 1 hour per day. We do music practise on top of that. So, I don't think you are asking for too much. Providing she gets Friday afternoon off and maybe Sundays, I think what you are asking for is ok.

I am all for doing homework, but anything in addition to that? 90mins? Sorry but that's madness. Let her have some fun! How old is she? YABU. Very much so.

YABU. You are making her see reading and learning as a chore. Well done.

She will grow up to hate you.... Probably leave home at first oppurtunity

sorry, re-reading my post, it was confusing about the ages, dd is the eldest.

Actually I think it's a very good idea I've started a similar thing with my DC's
I'm allowing them to watch 1 programme when they come in from school while they have a drink and snack to wind down and then they have a list of things they need to get done eg music practice any homework, reading, sorting out pets etc and once those things are done to an acceptable standard then the rest of the evening is their own.

Oh and I noticed your DD does Girls' Brigade, mine goes too (not many people seem to know what it is)

YABU

I echo what Olympia said. What you've described isn't a little work. As long as my DC's homework is completed to a satisfactory level then I'm happy.

And my DDs are high achievers!

I feel sorry for your kids :(

yabu - let her relax?!
school work plus homework then perhaps a hobby or two is enough until exams get closer at 11 she should be playing, relaxing and socializing.

How about alternate days, so 60 mins Mon & Weds and then 90mins on the Tues & Thurs. Friday could be a free day if she's done particularly well in the week.

Tiger Parenting anyone?!

Pushing her will do one thing and one thing only. It will put her OFF schoolwork, so rather than improving her grades you may find they actually get worse!

If school set homework then that is complimentary to her schoolwork and yes, she needs to do it properly. Anything else is just you trying to feel better about yourself by "encouraging her", when all you are doing is alienating her.

Help her with her homework and leave her alone!

I think 90 mins every single day is a bit much to be honest chops - could she not do it every other day or something? I understand your reasoning, I really do but am just wondering whether it will actually just make her rebel and not have any interest ..........obv she has to do her homework every day but maybe sometimes let her off the rest so it doesnt become too much of a chore. She hasnt long till secondary school so for now just let her enjoy the relatively stress free primary school.

Well you should do some studying yourself so that you can write clearly!

I still think YABU. Use school reports and parent teacher evenings to ascertain the standard of her homework and deal with that if it's an issue. Otherwise leave her alone.

You are sowing the seeds for a very bad relationship at exactly the stage in her life when a good, close, trusting relationship with you is far more important than schoolwork.

Reading isnt a chore, we go to the library regularly, or buy them new books, or she can use my kindle.

Sometimes, yes, they do moan, but usually we just need to find some more interesting books. They also read newspapers and non fiction, and we discuss what they are reading with them. The younger two keep reading diaries, which encourages them to think about what they are reading, and to preserver to the end of books and they enjoy that.

I'd love to see adults coming home after a days work and getting more work piled on them and no downtime. Clubs are all good and well, but they need some time just "be" too.

YABU.
Although you are doing it out of concern and love, I think you are pushing her too hard, and that will harm her future. She won't see the fun in reading if you force her to do it.
My parents had one rule - homework first, and it has to be done to the best of your abilities. Once that is done you are free to spend your time chilling out.
I followed their rules, and do you know how I chilled out, I read quite a bit. Why? because I found it entertaining and fun.
Try not to force your child, it will only lead to resentment. But buying her books that she would enjoy as a treat - with no pressure attatched would be supporting her love of books and therefore her education.