AIBU to be incensed by this pregnancy announcement on FB?

[CCsgirl]

Acquaintance on FB has just announced that she is " gunna be a mammy for the first time!!!!". She was with the father for 2 weeks and he is now in jail. She says as far as she is concerned her baby "dusnt av a daddy". She has been in her job for 4 weeks. 37 congratulations on her status so far. AIBU to be totally incensed that this is seen as acceptable and something to be congratulated?

Sorry but anyone who things have a baby with someone in prison is admirable is in la la land... So DPs relative, we'll call her X...

Xs mum was a single mum who worked hard, put herself through college, good job, own home etc. A woman to admire. Unfortunately X got together with local drug dealer. Not a bit. Kgs. The deals he got caught for were for around £7k per deal.

who on earth thinks this is an ok environment for a child? DP is a HT where children act out drug deals in the home corner...

society judges women unfairly. Responsible people can be unlucky. Men can be shits. but in some cases women are not putting their children first.

As I said up the thread, X and her child are now doing well but only because mainly her mum, who is ill herself, stopped her life, to help her daughter, even though she needs to save for her retirement.

someone has to be responsible and it should be the parents. And they need to be in a position to do this, not just create a child and leave others to make it work, for the Childs sake.

I don't think I actually disagree that having a parent in jail is not great at all. What made me angry is that the op thinks noone should congratulate her on her pregnancy. Which is frankly cruel and nasty.

I don't think I have ever said that no one should congratulate her, I personally would be being incredibly hypocritical and two faced if I offered her MY congratulations

I congratulated X on her lovely baby, but I felt really sorry for her mum who was mortified by how selfish her daughter had been.

There's a difference between supporting the mother because its best for the child, and saying this is an ok start for someone who needs 18 years worth of care, when neither parent is in a position to do so.

I don't think getting pregnant by someone you have not known longer than 2 weeks, who is now in jail, bringing up a child on benefits, without a father, is something to be congratulated. But I have learnt that I cannot impose my moral code on others and should instead condone her behaviour like everyone else

Cc I dont think you should read much into the congratulations from others on fb. I think its more trying to act normal than anything else.

Funny how my morals are never to be judemental, rude and nasty

U seem to break all of mine

Gah! How do I hide a thread on an iPhone app? It's really starting to piss me off now.

She sounds like several sandwiches short of a picnic, and no doubt her kid will grow up to be the same but hey ho. YAB a bit U to be "incensed" though, I would just shrug and delete.

i would be feeling sorry for a girl who as put herself in that situation but "incensed" yabu... i'd been with my partner 7yrs when i fell pregnant with ds and it doesn't make me a better parent than someone who fell pregnant 2 weeks after meeting someone.

It is small minded attitudes like your's OP that had young mums locked up and medicated in asylums and children exiled to Australia for a life time of abuse, mind that was not that long ago but I just cant understand your atittude.

You are assuming alot of things OP. You are assuming she will be on benefits, you dont know that but you mention in one post that you think she probably will, and then in the next post it is stated as fact that that is what she will be doing!

And why should she be ashamed just because you are jealous? You disgust me, you absolutely disgust me.

Yes the young parent thing really pisses me off.

I got with dp at 17 fel preg with dd at 19 as told my endomentriosis was so bad I wouldn't b able to have no kids, therefore on no birthcontrol.

Dp works very hard to provide for our family and we have never recieved any benefits etc.

I went to work part time at nights when dd was two as we has decided as a family we would rather one of us looking after her then a daycare etc.

I am off work at the moment as I have a 5mo old ds but plan on going back to work when he is a bit older.

We are both 23. We are a happy wee family and currently planning our wedding. We have been together 6years.

We don't get any assistance from government etc yet from your point of view we are basically destined to be bad parents because we are young?!

Someone needs to grow up and get a grip and it ain't me!

well as she is your friend, because why else would you have her as a friend on facebook, rather than extending a hypocrital congratulations why not extend your hand of friendship and offer her support, then your congratulations for doing a good job by her child will not be hypocritical. what is hypocritical is that you call this person a friend and then in time of need you judge and frown upon them.

op is a nosey get who is too judgey imo....YABEU

But I would bet everything I own that this woman will never return to work ( now signed off with PEP I don't know what that is) and will almost certainly live the majority of her life on benefits

Really? That's amazing that you'd be prepared to bet everything you own considering this woman was no more than an "acquaintance"?

haha nice one worral...love it x

My - really glad you managed to have a family despite your endo. I have just had my first lap and been told I have it, luckily I already have my dd and it looks like it has not done enough damage to affect my fertility in the future (hopefully), but the diagnosis has made me realise that you should never take your fertility for granted, and that every wanted pregnancy is a blessing.

Hi real :)

I had my 1st lap at 16 and have had them every 2 years since. Altho I am booked in to get a mirena inserted now as I already have two amazing children, a girl and a boy. So am not wanting anymore.

I was devastated when I was told I would have no kids. So nearly had a heart attack when ds came along. And took 7months of trying to get ds. Which isn't really that long!

Just goes to show if it's ment to be it's met to be :)

I'm sure if its ment to be when the time comes (and u want it to) you will have another dc.

Mrs

I'd love to know how the fact she's "only been working 4 weeks" automatically means you know for a fact she'll never go back to work and will bring her child up on benefits.

Accidents do happen, I fell pregnant on the pill after taking it effectively for 6 years...but that could have just as easily happened after taking it effectively for 6 days...things happen...maybe she's terrified and is making the best of the situation.

It just seems to me you're making an awful lot of assumptions. She may be a fantastic Mum...give her a chance FFS.

I think you and your FB friend sound worlds apart and would probably be happier with the ties cut.

I would not feel thrilled by news like this either, but then my circle of friends does not seem to throw up many gangster-shagging first time mams, disappointingly...

Thanks my! I had a mirena fitted during my op as I don't want another just yet and hopefully it will stop the endo coming back. I can't tell you how I'm getting on with it yet as I'm getting over the op and a rather nasty infection in my belly button wound so hard to say as I feel crap anyway! Hope it all goes well for you!