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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be a bit sad for dd

290 replies

shopping81 · 16/05/2012 15:24

So there is a important football match coming up. DH is a big fan and is going. Unfortunately it is on dd's 5th birthday. She does not want to go. So now mil, fil dh and ds are all going to the football.
AIBU to be sad that everyone is going to the football on dd's birthday or am a being plb.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 16/05/2012 21:00

Again though, it is all sort of the perception of what is important. I mean, irreparably damaged does all sound a little over-dramatic and frankly silly to people who don't understand why 22 I think people kicking a ball around a pitch is anything over than a pastime.

I ask again, would you feel the same if it was Comic-con? Or, if it was her mother wanting to follow The Stones around on tour?

ilovesooty · 16/05/2012 21:04

If it was a once in a lifetime opportunity that the mother might never have again I'd see it the same way, yes.

CelticPromise · 16/05/2012 21:05

Perhaps someone could explain what's so important about birthdays? It's just another day after all, I don't get it.

MrsTerryPratchett · 16/05/2012 21:06

The temptation to start a troll thread in a few months saying, "AIBU to miss my daughter's 5th birthday to go to a Justin Bieber concert?" is almost overwhelming.

Do you genuinely believe the responses would be the same? I really doubt it.

Hulababy · 16/05/2012 21:08

A once in a lifetime football match at Wembley is more important than a 5 year old being able to have a big birthday party on the actual day of her birthday rather than a day later. Sorry but that's just the way it is, and anyone that is a football supporter would agree.

For some people, not for others.
But as said before I just don;t get the whole football fanatical type stance people have. It will never be anything more than a game to me.

Sparks1 · 16/05/2012 21:08

I ask again, would you feel the same if it was Comic-con? Or, if it was her mother wanting to follow The Stones around on tour?

Neither of which would last a few a hours presumably. But the actual activity is irrelevant.

Seriously. Perspective.

And as i've already pointed out plenty of children are not damaged by spending significant events with separated parents for different periods of time.

It's how you manage it that matters.

ilovesooty · 16/05/2012 21:09

If that were the only concert she could go to my response would be the same...but as I said, the party doesn't have to be on the day.

Hulababy · 16/05/2012 21:10

CelcticPromise - to most children a birthday is very important to them, it's the one day of the year that is special to them, where they get presents and get to be the special child for the day. I have yet to meet a child who doesn't feel that their birthday is important to them.

bumpkinbillionaire · 16/05/2012 21:10

I think if you started a thread saying

"AIBU to miss my daughter's 5th birthday to go to a Justin Bieber concert? I will be with her in the morning and we will have a lovely breakfast and she can open her presents and then she will spend the day with her dad and I will be back in time for the birthday tea and she is having a party with her friends on monday"

I think a lot of people would say YANBU.

poshbird1 · 16/05/2012 21:11

This reply has been withdrawn

The OP has privacy concerns and so we've agreed to take this down.

MrsTerryPratchett · 16/05/2012 21:11

Your response would be the same, I bet other people's wouldn't be.

Perhaps someone could explain what's so important about birthdays? It's just another day after all, I don't get it. Delete birthdays, insert football matches.

ilovesooty · 16/05/2012 21:17

can't believe a man would put his primal ape-like urges of watching a pack of tribal grunting idiots

There are women who attach a lot of importance to football, you know.

GrahamTribe · 16/05/2012 21:18

I understand you JosephineCD. Grin

Far more importantly, is iguana, who "wouldn't let them" attend the match still around? Because I'd love to hear how she would stop an adult from walking out of the door.

Pedigree · 16/05/2012 21:18

You can have the proper birthday celebration on Sunday instead.

At the end of the day, if the birthday was taking place in a working day you would do the same: Have something small but thoughtful to commemorate the day (ie. breakfast in bed, with a small cake with a candle and gifts, etc), and then a full blown celebration when there is more time and more people are available.

bruxeur · 16/05/2012 21:18

Of course, they're not quite sure why.

ilovesooty · 16/05/2012 21:19

Oh, I am sure why. As I said, I just can't be bothered to explain to you.

bruxeur · 16/05/2012 21:20

Compelling.

ilovesooty · 16/05/2012 21:21

It must be. You came back after saying you were going. Hmm

MrsTerryPratchett · 16/05/2012 21:21

MNHQ, can I be given permission to lie to MN and tell them I am going to a once in a lifetime Comic-con and missing most of my DD's birthday? I promise never to lie again crosses fingers.

wizzler · 16/05/2012 21:21

Perhaps, DS REALLY wants to go to the football .. probably a once in a decade (at best) scenario... are you all saying that he shouldn't go because it's DD's birthday ? .. when he can still open presents with her in the morning ?

This match is a really big deal.. DS will probably remember it all his life

CelticPromise · 16/05/2012 21:24

MrsTP that was my point. Hulababy I do understand the importance of birthdays to children, and of big sporting events, was just pointing out (not very effectively apparently) the posters who are wilfully unable to accept that things might be important to others because they are not important to them.

It won't do the child any harm to have the celebration after the football/the next day.

CurrySpice · 16/05/2012 21:28

For someone with such a low opinion of football fans bruxeur you seem to enjoy spending time on this thread winding them up.

Go and insult someone else instead eh? Your faux passive aggressive sarcasm has worn a little thin Hmm

If my team were in a match like the ones likely to be happening this weekend I would be off like a shot which is unlikley as my team is crap

JosephineCD · 16/05/2012 21:29

Does the OP's family support York or Luton? Luton to Wembley isn't really a long trip, they'll only be gone for a few hours. York to Wembley would be most of the day.

CurrySpice · 16/05/2012 21:30

I might add that my exMiL didn't speak to me, my thenDH or DD for 18 months because she felt that celebrating DD's 2nd birthday a day late (so that her father could spend it with her because he was working) to be "dishonest" and "deceitful" Celtic so think on :o

CurrySpice · 16/05/2012 21:32

Josephine, it could be any of the playoff finals.

Plus, not everybody lives close to the team they support sadly. I was born and bred in Wolverhampton and follow the Wolves. I live in Essex now :(