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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be a bit sad for dd

290 replies

shopping81 · 16/05/2012 15:24

So there is a important football match coming up. DH is a big fan and is going. Unfortunately it is on dd's 5th birthday. She does not want to go. So now mil, fil dh and ds are all going to the football.
AIBU to be sad that everyone is going to the football on dd's birthday or am a being plb.

OP posts:
Get0rfMoiLand · 16/05/2012 19:52

Well said pineapple.

A child of 5 has got to suck it up and cope with the disappointment, but a grown man has got to have his whims pandered to because it's football innit.

ilovesooty · 16/05/2012 19:52

Not even going to attempt to explain why it's so terribly, terribly important?

No - not to someone who doesn't get it.

MrsTerryPratchett · 16/05/2012 19:53

Beautifully put GetOrf

Pumpster · 16/05/2012 19:53

Stupid fucking football!

Get0rfMoiLand · 16/05/2012 19:54

The opposing factions on this thread are like the equivalent of an old firm derby.

Pumpster · 16/05/2012 19:54

No her actual birthday can't be changed either!

bruxeur · 16/05/2012 19:54

You only explain things to people who already understand them?

Challenging!

ilovesooty · 16/05/2012 19:55

A child of 5 has got to suck it up and cope with the disappointment, but a grown man has got to have his whims pandered to because it's football innit

It doesn't say she's disappointed - her mother is. And it's not just him: it's most of the family.

bruxeur · 16/05/2012 19:55

That implies some degree of parity, Get0rf.

Sadly not the case...

Get0rfMoiLand · 16/05/2012 19:55

I just saw that I put upthread 'I hope his team lose 7-0'

How mature I am. Grin

still mean it

MerryMarigold · 16/05/2012 19:55

takingiteasy, a lot has been said since, BUT just to justify myself in case you're still around...

Twins are still in Nursery so morning off for me and dh only (but a good time to sort stuff out for rest of day).

I think dh's AL is 25 days, he rarely takes it all anyway. We just make the birthday day a special day instead of him taking time off at other times. It's good to think of putting someone else first even if it's just for the day - the kids too.

I agree that the OP is definitely NOT being U. Ultimately this is really selfish of DF because he is thinking about what's most important to him and not to his dd, or even his family as a whole, teaching his ds about putting his sister first at times, especially on her birthdays.

Obsessions are like addictions. They take priority over others.

ilovesooty · 16/05/2012 19:56

You only explain things to people who already understand them?

Not really. Just can't be arsed to try to explain to someone of a totally opposed mindset. I'll agree to differ.

JosephineCD · 16/05/2012 19:57

A once in a lifetime football match at Wembley is more important than a 5 year old being able to have a big birthday party on the actual day of her birthday rather than a day later. Sorry but that's just the way it is, and anyone that is a football supporter would agree.

bruxeur · 16/05/2012 19:57

No no, have a go! I'm sure someone can help you with the trickier concepts.

bruxeur · 16/05/2012 19:58

But they're dicks, Josephine. We established that a while back.

goodygumdrops · 16/05/2012 19:58

YANBU. Your other half is being very selfish.

ilovesooty · 16/05/2012 19:59

A once in a lifetime football match at Wembley is more important than a 5 year old being able to have a big birthday party on the actual day of her birthday rather than a day later. Sorry but that's just the way it is, and anyone that is a football supporter would agree

Exactly. No bruxeur I only bother expending my energy if it's likely to have a successful outcome. In your case it won't.

ilovesooty · 16/05/2012 20:00

But they're dicks, Josephine. We established that a while back

Some people did: some didn't.

BackforGood · 16/05/2012 20:01

OK, done the crime of only reading the first page and the last.
Can't believe how many people are being precious about having the family celebration on the actual day. Obviously the Dad can't get the football match moved, but it doesn't really matter if you have your birthday celebrations a day or two either side, so you can accommodate the most people. We rarely celebrate birthdays on the actual day because people are at work or away, we celebrate when we can get together. My dcs Like having two or even 3 'special' days each year.

MrsTerryPratchett · 16/05/2012 20:01

They recently did a study with people in hospice about regrets. Guess which of these made the top five,

  1. Not spending enough time on/with family
  1. Not spending enough time watching football.

Go on, guess...

JosephineCD · 16/05/2012 20:02

The OPs husband is going to the football with his family.

FoxyRoxy · 16/05/2012 20:02

Oohhh to all who were banging on about an Edinburgh derby being a once in a lifetime thing, is the OP's daughter going to turn 5 again? No. Also laughable that now it's a promotion playoff between two lower league teams it's not as important Hmm

My dad missed a lot of my birthdays when I was growing up because he worked out of the country a lot, it made me sad but I knew there was nothing he could do about it and he wanted to be there but couldn't. If he'd have swanned off to a football match with my brother I would have been gutted. Please remember this is a 5 year old kid we're talking about, not an adult.

bruxeur · 16/05/2012 20:04

I am absolutely loving the fact that even those who are prepared to back this paragon of Dadness in his quest for emotional fulfilment amongst the giants of the Beezer Homes League, can't even begin to form an idea of WHY it's so important.

'Cos IT JUST IS, OK

/swings arms around and wanders off with Perry

numbum · 16/05/2012 20:11

The 5 year old wont even remember it if the OP doesn't make a big drama over this. So dad and brother are going to football, that leaves her with mum to do whatever she wants and to make a fuss of her until the others return.

Seriously, how many of you remember your 5th birthdays? I remember birthday parties from when I was that age but no recollection of my actual birthdays.

YABU

PullUpAPew · 16/05/2012 20:11

BackforGood But they can be together on the actual day, it's just that Dad would rather be at the football. It's not like he's on active service, he'd just rather go to a match.