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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder how Hagrids mum and dad did the nasty?

106 replies

bogeyface · 14/05/2012 23:18

Re-reading The Goblet of Fire to keep up with DD2's questions!

Hagrid - Half giant, half human.

Hagrids Dad - "Tiny little man" There is reference to a photo of an 8 foot Hagrid at age 11 towering over his very small father.

Hagrids Mum - Giantess of about 20 feet tall or so.

Assuming his dad was only "tiny" by giant standards, and he was actually 6 foot tall that still leaves a difference of 14 ish feet. And of course, we have to take into account the difference in size of genitalia, and the fact that giants are well known to be violent and aggresive.

So, tell me how it was done!

OP posts:
LadyBabsFlashesHerFanjo · 14/05/2012 23:20

It's magic Grin

Or tell her that Hagrids dad is very well endowed (?sp)

LadySybilDeChocolate · 14/05/2012 23:20

Turkey baster.

LadySybilDeChocolate · 14/05/2012 23:21

Or maybe his father was just a big prick?

hiddenhome · 14/05/2012 23:22

Perhaps he climbed inside her and had a 'fiddle' Confused

OnTheBottomWithWomansWeekly · 14/05/2012 23:23

Very carefully? Wink

bogeyface · 14/05/2012 23:24

That is the one idea that I keep cuming coming back to hidden :o

OP posts:
BellaOfTheBalls · 14/05/2012 23:29

To quote a little friend married to a giant rather tall man

"everyone is the same size lying down"

Grin
bogeyface · 14/05/2012 23:30

hmm....not sure they are in this case Bella :o

OP posts:
ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 14/05/2012 23:32

I was about to suggest the same as hidden, except that as giants are mean and agressive, maybe she asserted her feminism by shoving all of Hagrids dad inside, male subsumed by female, and hagrids dad obviously enjoyed it

EmmaCate · 14/05/2012 23:36

NO!!! Glad it's not just me. Also Donkey and Dragon from Shrek.

bogeyface · 14/05/2012 23:37

Annnddddd......

Hagrid asks Madame Maxime "which side did you get it from?" which means that male giants can impregnate female humans, which is enough to make anyones eyes water!

OP posts:
bogeyface · 14/05/2012 23:38

I always imagined Donkey and Dragon to be a bit "yorkshire terrier humping a sofa" type situation!

OP posts:
hiddenhome · 14/05/2012 23:39

Perhaps she had a flange like a welly top and he sneaked inside when she was sleeping one night Confused

Belmo · 14/05/2012 23:40

shoving all of Hagrid's dad inside Jesus you lot are disgusting, I'm going to have nightmares!

Buttonnosedsausage · 14/05/2012 23:40

IVF? Grin

Northernlurker · 14/05/2012 23:41

I don't think JK thought this one through........

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 14/05/2012 23:44

I can imagine how a human female could be impregnated by a giant. But how would she give birth to the half giant, how would she even have the pregnancy?

And yes donkeyh and dragon deeply bizarre and disturbing, not even remotely similar species. Surely fertilisation could not occur.

I wonder if Hagrid was infertile like a mule?

ASillyPhaseIAmGoingThrough · 14/05/2012 23:44

Hagrids Dad must have supersperm and must be one fast dude at doing the deed. What would be in it for Hagrids Mum? Confused Maybe Male giants have a small cock so they can fit in Humans, and so the female giants can fit a human cock in?

bogeyface · 14/05/2012 23:53

And maybe the babies are normal sized but then grow HUGE in the first year?

I bet Bugaboo do a Giant Baby buggy, cant seem them missing a trick like that :o

OP posts:
blackeyedsusan · 15/05/2012 00:05
Grin
butthatsnotfair · 15/05/2012 00:07

I always wonder this about dogs. Can a great dane shag a jack russell? Same species so totally feasable, but it is physically possible?

HolyCameraConfusionBatman · 15/05/2012 00:11

I've wondered this about the chick and the hippo that advertise silent night. I think in one advert they have children and the girls are chicks and the boys hippos I believe, so did the hippos hatch from an egg?

Thumbwitch · 15/05/2012 00:12

I have seen a labrador crossed with a dachshund - never quite sure how that works either, depending on which was the male and which the female - if the female is the larger, does she lie down so the little dog can reach? I can see how the bigger dog would be able to just squat down to the little bitch but would he squash her?

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 15/05/2012 00:14

Oh god I ALWAYS wonder this about Donkey and Dragon as well. Would she even know he was there?

Quite want to hatch a hippo from an egg now.

Thumbwitch · 15/05/2012 00:32

Maybe giants are like kangaroos and give birth when the baby is only an inch long... that would be useful. Grin

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