... in thinking my sister sends her son to bed too early?

[shoegal34]

He's 10, nearly 11. Goes to bed 730pm week nights, 8pm weekends. She pretty much rules with an iron fist, v strict parenting.

I feel for him, he always looks sad when it's time for bed but never argues. I was there at the weekend. I didn't understand why he couldn't stay up and watch the 'family' shows with us - BGT and the like. Tried to fight his corner a little (not while he was there). Got nowhere.

I don't have kids (hope to soon though). I often babysit my other nieces, same age as nephew, they are allowed to stay up 'til ten on a weekend. I sometime let them stay up 'til eleven if we're watching a film

I know it's subjective and each parent to their own. Just wondering what others' opinions are?

DD at that age used to go at that time.

Even now at 14 it's 9pm and 9.30 at weekends.

I don't give a flying turd breath what anyone else thinks, she slept well and that's the only important thing.

That's crazy, he will be in secondary school soon and how will he have a social life going to bed that early? what with increased homework as well. I went to bed around 9/9.30 at that age on school nights. What time does he get up? He must be sleeping for a ridiculously long time! Sounds like your sister just likes having her evenings without her son which is a bit selfish.

Who are these secondary school kids with social lives past 8pm? I don't know any.

Valiumredhead. I went out til 9ish or had friends over. And all my friends did too. cinema or at people houses etc.

At 12?

If I'd gone to bed at 7.30/8.00 every night at that age I wouldn't have had much of a social life as the activities I did, like Guides and badminton were on in the evening. Pretty normal for that age, I'd have thought.

Oh yes, and on a Friday night everybody went bowling or to the cinema when they were 12 or 13.

Or sat on "the bench" drinking white lightning as I used to

Yeah that's year 7. I used to have friends stay over or go to theirs and we went to sleep maybe 10. On weekends maybe midnight. Same sorta thing throughout secondary school. Still got 8 hours sleep which is enough and had fun with my friends, got homework done, everyone did it. I'm 23 so it wasn't that long ago either lol. I wasn't a little kid, I wanted to have fun and my mum got that.

I recall being 11 and as the eldest child I got to watch Casualty on a Saturday night. The caveat was that I did so in my parents' room and let them have peace

As another poster pointed out, I too was working evenings as soon as I turned 13, often starting when I got off the school bus and not getting home until after 10pm.

Looking back, it's no wonder I've been tired all my life!

I think sleep is incredibly important and if an early bedtime works for a child then that's what you do. Kids will look sad about put to bed whenever they go. Mine can't tell the time yet which is a situation I'm hoping to maintain for as long as possible - there are some nights when '7pm' is technically 6pm

I used to have a 7pm bedtime til I was about 13, and it got pushed to 8pm and stayed that way until 16 (!)

I then rebelled and spent many years up all night, and even now at 25 my sleep is all over the place, and I need a minimum of 9hrs to feel rested, and often sleep 12hrs (no kids) and only just feel human. For this I completely and utterly blame my parents.

out till 9ish at 11-12yrs of age? nope none of ds1's friends do, they do go to the cinema/bowling/lazerquest etc but at the wkend during the day.

i went out in the evenings as a teen once i was 14ish? during the school summer holidays i stayed out later playing, and did start going out in evenings on a fri/sat night. was allowed up later on school nights if i had guides etc, which ds1 can do for clubs and also music concerts where he is playing and events organised at the high school in the evenings. but regularly going out till 9pm on a school night at 12yrs of age? nope doesnt happen and i dont know anyone with 12yr olds who does let them do that.

Do you live in the country or suburbs 5mad? I live in a city so we all live closer together, don't have to rely on our parents to take us places and there is much more to do.

Our parents knew where we were, we weren't just out running wild. I had a mobile so mum could always have contact with me and my mum would speak to my friends parents if I stayed over theirs. But if we wanted to go out somewhere and get in at 9 it wasn't a problem. If we went to bed at 9 30 and got up at 7 for school thats loads of sleep!

I was allowed to go to the cinema with my friends on a Friday night from 11, in my last year of primary school. The films would start at 8-8.30 p.m. and end between 10 and 11 p.m. Parents would meet us at the end.

At 12, I was allowed to go to teenage discos that were on in the holidays. They finished at 1 a.m. and there were kids as young as 10 at them.

in a city, smallish city, but a city and there are good buses, ds1 can and does walk to the city centre at the wkends or after school to meet up with friends etc, but he either comes home for dinner, or goes to a friends for dinner and then they often bring him home, by 7:30, maybe 8pm and that time is chosen by the other parents. like i said the kids do go out but not till 9pm at night, they may possibly go the cinema late on a fri night and then get picked up, but on a school night staying out till 9pm isnt happening.

discos etc had school discos up to 12-13 and then from then would go out to discos in local youth club or leisure centre, town hall etc, but was def older than 12, more like 13-14 and i only started doing it regularly ie each wkend once i was 15-16.

have plenty of friends with older children as well and they dont go out late particularly on school nights.