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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that I should complain about a teacher when DD (15) says no

222 replies

Menashaday · 12/05/2012 15:35

yesterday DD (15) reported that a teacher at school has stuck a plaster over her mouth because she was talking too much. There is a bit of history about being chatty in class and this seems to be have been jovial and light hearted. DD isn't upset or complaining and she says I shouldn't complain because things would be worse. The teacher also did it to a boy in the class and shouted at him when he took it off. Hence DD keeping hers on!

This feels wrong and actually that this teacher should not be teaching - she retires this year in any case.

Advice pleaseConfused

OP posts:
Sunscorch · 14/05/2012 17:37

I guess things like thinking it's ok to shout at a teacher just because the teacher shouted at them or hitting a kid because they hit them first etc.

Well, I would say that those are different situations, because they relate to the child's own actions, and the impact those actions have on others.
Excepting cases of abuse, where the victim isn't of sound mind, I would say that any interaction between two individuals is acceptable so long as both parties involved think that it is acceptable.

AgentZigzag · 14/05/2012 17:57

'potentially perfectly innocent behaviour'

And the key word there is 'potentially' sunscorch.

Just as you can interpret it as potentially innocent, it can also be interpreted as not innocent.

'even though it's an interpretation of events by a clearly unreliable source.'

If you're making a point that gettinghappy is wrong because she's interpreting events from an unreliable source, have you forgotten that your interpretations of the events are coming from the same source, making them just as unreliable.

Sunscorch · 14/05/2012 18:03

You're right, ZigZag.
Which is why I think it's important to have somebody who will argue for the side of the professionally trained adult in their absence.

Otherwise the thread simply becomes a string of masturbatory teacher bashing posts.

Don't you think?

complexnumber · 14/05/2012 18:06

Sunscorch , I want you to teach my children.

BoneyBackJefferson · 14/05/2012 18:26

Sunscorch

"Otherwise the thread simply becomes a string of masturbatory teacher bashing posts."

best line ever :)

Kaloobear · 14/05/2012 18:43

This so much depends on the tone of the incident and the relationship the teacher has with a class. If it was done to be cruel, or because she genuinely couldn't find any other way to get the pupil to behave, or because she found it funny etc then yes, obviously that's awful and I would complain. If it was a joke, they have a good relationship etc then leave it.

I once had a boy for A level who was really chatty, would derail class discussion without really meaning to, was terribly sweet and just a chatterbox. The majority of the time I'd say 'Oi, X, time to shut up and do some work,' with a smile, and he'd do it. On one occasion he was overexcited and couldn't help himself going on about something irrelevant to the class. I said to the class in general, 'If X interrupts again shall I throw him out of the window?' They laughed, he laughed, he got the point. I was never going to throw him out of the window and they knew it! But if one of them had told their parents without any of the context and the parent heard 'And X wouldn't shut up so Miss Y threatened to chuck him through a pane of glass' I'd have been up shit creek. I probably shouldn't have said it but it was fine because it was a joke and they knew it. I wouldn't have done if it didn't know the class really well and have a great relationship with them. I'm glad none of their parents complained!!

Losingitall · 14/05/2012 18:59

Both my sons have always been in trouble (and punished at home for it) at school. I'd bloody love it if they came home and a teacher had taped their mouth shut. My response to them, would be "About bloody time"

Bigpants1 · 14/05/2012 19:12

Sunscorch-Since when did people having an opinion on what this teacher did, become teacher bashing posts? Perhaps when their opinion differs to yours?
Just how much training does it take to stick a plaster on someone's mouth?
You are coming across as arrogant. One does not have to be a Professional or a teacher to have an opinion.
And to paraphrase you a while back on this thread,(I know, not totally accurately), "no offence, but who cares what you think?"

complexnumber · 14/05/2012 19:20

You are coming across as arrogant ; not to me and many others, Sunscorch has come across as a poster who knows what she is talking about and can back it up with reasoned arguments.

One does not have to be a Professional or a teacher to have an opinion ; so a teacher is not a professional?

complexnumber · 14/05/2012 19:21

Sorry Scorcher I should not have used your name in my own argument.

noblegiraffe · 14/05/2012 19:27

Since when did people having an opinion on what this teacher did, become teacher bashing posts?

I'm guessing it's the posts where people call what is described in the OP as a lighthearted and jovial incident that the 'victim' wasn't distressed by a humiliating example of bullying by a power-crazed twat of a teacher.

There seems to be a distinct lack of desire on the part of some posters, to cut the teacher some slack, give them the benefit of the doubt and see it as merely an exasperated attempt to deal with a mouthy teen with a bit of humour.

I'm not saying it is the best example of behaviour management, but to call it 'disgusting' and say that the teacher should be sacked is just utterly depressing.

Sunscorch · 14/05/2012 19:32

Since when did people having an opinion on what this teacher did, become teacher bashing posts?

I'm pretty sure that all teacher bashing is uninformed opinion... so that argument doesn't really wash.

Other than that, noblegiraffe summed it up rather well.

(Oh, and also, I'm a male teacher. I've mentioned it elsewhere, but obviously I don't expect everyone to know ^^)

AgentZigzag · 14/05/2012 19:53

Did I miss the reason why you're saying you're a male teacher sunscorch?

I don't understand the relevance.

Sunscorch · 14/05/2012 20:46

Apparently you did.
complexnumber referred to me as "she", which is not the case.

Bigpants1 · 14/05/2012 23:02

"I'm pretty sure that all teacher bashing is uninformed opinion..."
Are you for real?? How many years training did it take to become so narrow minded?
Are you newly qualified? Do you have a tape on loop at night that says," All teachers are beyond reproach, no parent can possibly appreciate what it is like in the classroom."
Are your pupils allowed to express opinions that differ to yours, or are they quickly stamped down?
Whether intentionally or not, your posts come across as though you see yourself as more knowledgable than others-you're not.
I dont see how being a male is relevant or adds anything to what you are saying, unless you think you get extra credence for having a Penis.
Thinking you're right doesn't make you right-it justs makes you a dick.(ah, now I see what relevance the Penis has!)

lovebunny · 14/05/2012 23:09

highly unusual!
there was a teacher in terrible trouble for this a few years ago. its not what we do - even if children beg us!
teachers are not allowed to give out plasters for injuries so i can't see it being acceptable as a classroom management technique.

however, as she only has a few weeks to go, and your daughter (who was there at the time) wants it to drop, i wouldn't make a fuss.

aside...
all these 'crap' teachers. looking after the 'crap' children of so many 'crap' parents. :)

AgentZigzag · 15/05/2012 12:27

I saw this detention slip read out on Graham Norton last night and it made me think of sunscorch this thread Grin

(from this website)

Bigpants1 · 15/05/2012 12:59

That's funny.

titchy · 15/05/2012 13:04

Hope neither of the dcs were allergic to latex.....

Sunscorch · 15/05/2012 13:22

Bigpants, you seem a little confused by my post.
I'm not saying that all teachers are beyond reproach, which I think is pretty clear from the content of my posts.
I'm saying that bashing teachers based on ambiguous at best, and disingenuous at worst, information is foolish.

(And for what it's worth, if the post isn't based on uninformed opinion, then it's not "teacher bashing", it's a legitimate complaint about an individual.)

Sunscorch · 15/05/2012 13:25

ZigZag, I thought you wanted to have a serious discussion... But apparently you're content with insulting my behaviour management when you don't have a clue about it.

That is teacher bashing.

PinkElephant73 · 15/05/2012 13:50

Kaloobear its one thing to say something as a joke but to actually put a plaster over someone's mouth - how can this be acceptable in any context?

The teacher is totally out of order, what a bizarre thing to do. I cannot see how this would ever be seen as appropriate. We had plenty of teachers when I was at school who could manage a classroom with a bit of humour or light hearted antics but sticking a plaster over a child's mouth - that is weird.

Given that we're already in the summer term and she's retiring this year may be little point in pursuing it though...?

BoneyBackJefferson · 15/05/2012 16:59

So several posters can't "win" so they resort to belittling and making fun of other posters.

Mayisout · 15/05/2012 17:53

Haven't read all posts but think that some teachers pick on 'good' ie well-behaved pupils as they know they won't kick off if they tell them off, stick plaster over their mouths in a jokey way, or whatever.
My son was alwasy singled out for talking in class but believe much of class was involved. He had a deep voice so was easy to single out and was a nice lad so wouldn't speak back or anything. It was his classmates that told me 'Mr X always picks on DS'.
But teachers have a hard time so not worth making a fuss about, also nice DS didn't want me to say anything.

Mayisout · 15/05/2012 17:55

This was just in one subject with one teacher, he got on fine with the other teachers.