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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that I should complain about a teacher when DD (15) says no

222 replies

Menashaday · 12/05/2012 15:35

yesterday DD (15) reported that a teacher at school has stuck a plaster over her mouth because she was talking too much. There is a bit of history about being chatty in class and this seems to be have been jovial and light hearted. DD isn't upset or complaining and she says I shouldn't complain because things would be worse. The teacher also did it to a boy in the class and shouted at him when he took it off. Hence DD keeping hers on!

This feels wrong and actually that this teacher should not be teaching - she retires this year in any case.

Advice pleaseConfused

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 12/05/2012 22:35

Actually they don't have a good relationship at all. Because she is not a good teacher and DD is too chatty ( not an issue in other classes btw- model student

So your daughter picks and chooses where she'll behave? FWIW I think the teacher's actions were pretty stupid given that in this day and age some parents will complain if you so much as look at their little darlings the wrong way.

I think you should teach your daughter some manners though.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 12/05/2012 22:41

Worra not only are you wrong..but now you're wrong without a pen

I love your DS (cheeky little so and so) Grin

VikingVagine · 12/05/2012 22:44

I miss blackboards; little bits of chalk were great to chuck at unruly kids. Lobbing a board marker just doesn't have the same comedy value. Sad

fluffypillow · 12/05/2012 22:46

The Teacher was wrong to do this, but your DD is wrong to be disrupting lessons. You need to teach her that it's not only her education she's messing up, but a classful of her fellow students. Selfish behaviour.

GrahamTribe · 12/05/2012 22:49

"My DS (12yrs) says his English teacher throws pens at him (good naturedly) when they get into a debate about something and the teacher loses.

He thinks it's hilarious and says "So sir, not only are you wrong...but now you're wrong without a pen" "

PMSL. You've done it again Worra! The boy's a chip off the old block!

Morloth · 12/05/2012 22:56

Jeez DS would only get told 'so shut up next time, eh?' from me.

WorraLiberty · 12/05/2012 23:00

Lol he is a cheeky little fecker! Grin

But just as though the teachers seem to know their pupils (and how much humour they can get away with) he seems to know his teachers too.

All in all it's a pretty good mix in his school fortunately Grin

Morloth · 12/05/2012 23:02

We had a teacher who would throw chalk room often it became a bit of signature.

He would lob a piece at one of us at the end of every lesson whether he needed to or not. Was great fun. I had him for geography for 3 years in a row, he made me want to see the world. He had excellent aim and it fucking stung, shut us up though.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 12/05/2012 23:05

It was a geography teacher who put my chair on the desk (while I was on it) Morloth.
Is there some extra sadism course they do?
Grin

AgentZigzag · 12/05/2012 23:05

What the OP's described (which I know is going to be biased) just feels different to the two way banter worras described with her DS and his teacher.

Could be me projecting, maybe I'm not being realistic of what 15 YOs are really like, I dunno.

upahill · 12/05/2012 23:11

I would go mad with my child if this happened in class. I would be furious with him for chatting to much.
It's a constant problem I have had with him and he deserves a roll of tape round his gob at the moment!!!

Morloth · 12/05/2012 23:13

Could be 70 this was in what MNers would call a sink school though, so none of us were delicate flowers, plenty of us were gobby little snots though.

Teachers had not been completely hamstrung then so a 'sink' school was probably not as chaotic as it might be today, also in Australia where I like to think we view our children more robustly.

WorraLiberty · 12/05/2012 23:14

Actually I think chalk throwing teachers would be instantly sacked nowadays

Not for abusing pupils....but for wasting school resources Grin

LapsedPacifist · 12/05/2012 23:15

Why the hell would you complain? Your kid isn't bothered/upset.

You should be angry with your disobedient and disruptive child IMHO.

MsKittyFane · 13/05/2012 19:20

You're right there Worra! imagine the tears and trauma not to mention the uproar at the school gates if this happened at a primary school!! Secondary schools are very different, especially Year 11 (age 15/16) There can be a lot of friendly banter, teasing plastering mouths shut at that age yet everyone goes home happy!! :o

Ithinkitsjustme · 13/05/2012 19:53

I'd take a box of plasters into school to give to the teacher for future use.

noblegiraffe · 13/05/2012 20:27

This teacher shouldn't be teaching because she did something light-hearted and jovial that your DD didn't have a problem with?

It's only humiliation if your DD was humiliated, and it doesn't sound like she was.

simperingsally · 13/05/2012 20:31

Yes the teacher was probably wrong in doing this , ut as you said in the first post your daughter was not bothered by it. (shes probably regretting telling you this now )
If a teacher did this to me my dad would have said i deserved it. which i probably did.

you should be having a serious conversation with your dd as to why she's being disruptive in just that one class. Shes being very disrespectful to the teacher and disturbing those students that actually want to learn.

EllenParsons · 13/05/2012 20:42

I can't believe that people are sticking up for this teacher and saying "just a bit of fun" etc Hmm It's not really funny is it. It is horrible. I would feel sick if someone stuck a plaster on my mouth. I would definitely have complained and reported it if a teacher tried to do this to me at age 15.

It is outrageous behaviour from the teacher and if the teacher has not got the sense to see that this is completely inappropriate then I can't believe that they have the sense and judgement to do their job properly tbh. Hmm

Sunscorch · 13/05/2012 20:50

Ellen, that's probably why no teacher ever did it to you.
Because they knew you couldn't take a joke.

AgentZigzag · 13/05/2012 20:55

So you think a sense of humour equates to enjoying people being humiliated sunscorch?

I know a couple of people who find humiliating someone in front of others highly amusing.

They're not in reality though, they're twats.

noblegiraffe · 13/05/2012 20:59

Agent - some people wouldn't find that humiliating, they would find it funny. Just because you would have a problem with it, that doesn't mean that everyone would, and the OP's DD doesn't seem to have.

Sunscorch · 13/05/2012 20:59

So you think a sense of humour equates to enjoying people being humiliated sunscorch?

It's only humiliation if the person involved is humiliated. That isn't the case here, and it isn't the case in most cases where a teacher knows their children.

Putting a plaster on someone's mouth can quite easily be a joke. Declaiming it as humiliation is clearly excessively reactionary.

DioneTheDiabolist · 13/05/2012 21:01

Humor is not the same as humiliation.

Context is the key. The OP's DD said that she did not feel humiliated. Another child may well have done. It is down to the way it was done and the two people involved.

noblegiraffe · 13/05/2012 21:03

Some people seem to be projecting their own issues onto this situation.