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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that I should complain about a teacher when DD (15) says no

222 replies

Menashaday · 12/05/2012 15:35

yesterday DD (15) reported that a teacher at school has stuck a plaster over her mouth because she was talking too much. There is a bit of history about being chatty in class and this seems to be have been jovial and light hearted. DD isn't upset or complaining and she says I shouldn't complain because things would be worse. The teacher also did it to a boy in the class and shouted at him when he took it off. Hence DD keeping hers on!

This feels wrong and actually that this teacher should not be teaching - she retires this year in any case.

Advice pleaseConfused

OP posts:
seeker · 12/05/2012 16:34

Is she a good teacher?

Original poster
Menashaday · 12/05/2012 16:36

Thanks.

DD is talkative but would not have confronted the teacher.
Teacher does not control the class and yes grades are poor in this one subject. It is still humiliatng and definitely unprofessional so I think somoene in the school should know even if it is not a complaint. But as DD doesn't want me to say anything then I dont think I will.

OP posts:
Noqontrol · 12/05/2012 16:39

Depends how your dd felt about it. If she felt it was light hearted fun and she was happy with that then no I wouldn't complain. Ive got a vague recollection of this happening to someone when i was at at school and it was just in fun. But if she doesn't feel like this and she's afraid that things will get worse for her if you do complain, then you need to get down there and find out what's going on.

Bromdad · 12/05/2012 16:42

It's all about the relationship the teacher has with the pupils and the context of the situation. I would suspect that your daughters teacher has a very good relationship with the class for her to be able to do something like this. Whilst it might not seem obvious to someone outside the classroom, this sort of interaction can be very effective in getting kids on side.

If a pupil continually interrupts the class then that pupil hinders the learning of everyone else in the group. That is something worth complaining about!

usualsuspect · 12/05/2012 16:43

I don't think sticking a plaster over someones mouth is light hearted fun

picnicbasketcase · 12/05/2012 16:45

It's the shouting at the other child for removing the plaster that would concern me. It's obviously not entirely lighthearted if the children feel that they can't respond to it or take it off without getting into trouble.

seeker · 12/05/2012 16:48

A year 3 teacher picked my dd up and stood her in the bin. She still remembers it as one of the highlights of primary school.

hairylemon · 12/05/2012 16:59

YABU if it was lighthearted and DD isnt bothered. I actually think its pretty funny. One of our teachers (a massive farmer type with a greasy beard) used to threaten to lick our cheeks if we were annoying Shock Grin and it was actually a weird badge of honor if you were ever slobbed by him. I was licked once

Sounds to me like teach was just having a bit of a laugh, although I agree she took it too far by having a go at the other kid but a plaster on the mouth isnt the worst thing. Could be a board rubber round the chops, THAT was humiliating, having to eat chalk dust

Aribura · 12/05/2012 17:04

WTAF at people calling it child abuse. Stop the planet, I want to get off.

MsKittyFane · 12/05/2012 17:04

So, the teacher sticks a plaster over a pupil's mouth in fun, in a teasing way to get them to stop talking. The pupil knows it's a joke and is part of it, isn't being laughed at but with, the pupil let's the teacher do this and the whole thing reflects a lighthearted approach to discipline.
This is very different to a teacher snarling at a pupil and slapping a plaster on a pupil's mouth in anger and against their will so that he/she shuts the f**k up.

Sounds like the 1st senario in your DC's case. What is there to complain about?

rainydaysarebad · 12/05/2012 17:11

Why is everyone complaining about teachers in AIBU recently? Is this what happens towards the end of the year? My dd starts school in september, I have all this to look forward to!

MsKittyFane · 12/05/2012 17:11

If you did complain, you would be putting the teacher in an undeserved position, possibly resulting in them to be unfairly disciplined.
Pupils are very loyal towards happy, friendly teachers. They are also the first to complain strongly about sour, unfair, abusive teachers.

webwiz · 12/05/2012 17:11

I'd be more annoyed at having a 15 year old who doesn't seem to know when to stop talking.

VikingVagine · 12/05/2012 17:13

If my DCs came home with this story the only reaction I'd have would be to punish them for talking in class.

Kinnane · 12/05/2012 17:14

Menashaday, Wise daughter!.......... and she will learn from this.

ImperialBlether · 12/05/2012 17:16

Next you'll be saying I shouldn't have threatened to set fire to one of my student's coursework!

ImperialBlether · 12/05/2012 17:16

students', I mean, of course!

BoneyBackJefferson · 12/05/2012 17:17

AgentZigzag
"If someone was giving a presentation in an office setting and a couple of people said something to each other while the person was talking, would the person be OK to stick a plaster over their mouths in front of everyone else?"

You wouldn't do it in an office setting but then the person would be a grade A twat for talking over the speaker.

ImperialBlether · 12/05/2012 17:19

I'm sure this teacher is at the end of her tether. Has your daughter thought about that at all? Has she considered that she might be a reason why that teacher doesn't want to come to work? Has she thought that the teachers in the classroom may well be saying, "That class would do a lot better if the OP's daughter wasn't in it"?

Before you complain about the teacher, think about the impact a chatty child has on everyone's GCSE results.

AgentZigzag · 12/05/2012 17:24

They would be a twat BBJ for talking, and the OPs daughter was wrong to be talking in the class.

I was just trying to think of why the dynamics of the situation if it were all adults in a work place would be different to a classroom.

And why if it were an adult doing it to another adult, that claims it was lighthearted wouldn't cut any ice and I'd be thinking of the underlying reasons for someone to humiliate someone else like that.

I know school is different in that it has to teach children how to behave, but if it's not OK for an adult, or for a 4/5 YO (IMO), then why OK for a 15 YO?

timetoask · 12/05/2012 17:30

Well, I think you should have told your daughter, that although you don't agree with the way in which the teacher tried to manage the behaviour, you also are extremely disappointed that the teacher had to get to that point to make her shut up and that she needs to start paying attention.

robotcornysilk · 12/05/2012 17:32

would it be acceptable for your dd to stick a plaster over the teacher's mouth?

AgentZigzag · 12/05/2012 17:36

That's what I thought about the office woman with DD robotcorny, I'll be OK with it when she starts sticking masking tape in her hair.

usualsuspect · 12/05/2012 17:38

Would it be acceptable for a parent to stick a plaster over their DDs mouth?

BoneyBackJefferson · 12/05/2012 17:38

but in the adults workplace the speaker wouldn't be concidered bad at their job because of the actions of another.