To be furious about dd's hair cut?

[Hockacholic]

7 year old dd went to play at a friends house yesterday. Dd had long bum length hair but when she got dropped home friends mum (a hairdresser) had cut dd's hair into a shoulder length bob! I didn't see the mum as she just dropped dd at the door and she came in on her own. I am so upset dd had never had her hair cut it was lovely, I know I can't do any thing about it now and dd is happy with her new hair style. AIBU to think friends mum should have spoken to me about this first?

I would absolutely take this to the papers. They'd publish a photograph of you looking sad and angry in front of her salon with your daughter who finally has has lovely hair.

With any luck the bad publicity would cause her to lose her clients and her livelihood, which would be no more than she deserves.

The woman is a menace

Throw her in prison for life whilst you are there tiggy !

I'd be pretty furious too. How dare she take over in parenting your own child!

My M.I.L gave my first daughter her first haircut when she was a baby, it looked really shit and she kept all the cuttings! She hadn't even needed a haircut at the time, she just wanted the clippings. I was really furious, but let it go as I didn't want to rock the family boat.

This is unbeli able even by mumsnet aibu standards, please!

I find it hard to believe that if this really happened, and you're so furious (and I would be, if it really happened), that you haven't actually spoken to the other mum yet.
Why weren't you straight on the phone?

LtEve

I'd love to see the look on the faces of the posters who say they wouldn't mind, if they sent their child to someone else's house and they returned with a radically different hairstyle

Imagine their long curly haired boys returning home with a crop and tram lines shaved into the sides Lol

And breathe!

I just want to mention that this new Imposter Tiggy is no relation to the tried and tested quality TiggyD that you know and love.

Hello imposter Tiggy!

My MIL was a hairdresser and even she would never have taken the unilateral decision to cut my DCs hair!!
... she has done other things that made me quite angry though at the time.

To think that other Mums worry about a sneaky look in other childrens reading book bags when they come over to play!

Am I missing something? Is her hair made of gold?

It's hair. Importantly, it's your DD's hair. I don't even necessarily agree that the mother should have asked you first, because it's obvious that you would have said no.

Seven years old is old enough to make decisions and live with consequences.

its not really about the haircut itself or how it looks, its about doing something to a child without asking the parents if it is ok, and most people would not presume to do something that is actually quite a big change to a child without consulting the parents its rude.

I would say something to the woman

I genuinely cannot believe the hysteria over this You are aware that hair grows

I'm with soupdragon. A 7yo should be able to choose their own hairstyle as long as it falls within school rules. And yes I do let my 7yo do so (though he is a boy).

She should have checked first but if your dd is happy then what it the problem.

As previously mentioned, I would wonder if there had been a bit of unprofessional hair snipping going on by the 7yo's and the mother had to step in and sort it out... she still should have let you know though, as it isnt as if you wouldnt notice the difference when your daughter got home.

I agree with Salmotrutta, the other Mum should have checked, but on doing so and if dd wanted it done then it is up to dd.

I have known my haidresser for years and she now comes to my house to do all of us, it is up to the dc's what they do with their hair in terms of length.

I have the opposite problem I have a ds who is growning his, I would love him to cut it shorter but it's his hair.

I wonder how much of all this is about the way that people fetishise feel about girls and long hair?

I can't really imagine all this heat being generated by the same thing happening to a boy.

i feel sorry for the girl with bum's length hair! must have really got on her nerves. a bob is much more easier to care for.

what's done is done

Yanbu at all. I'd be incandescent with rage. Demand an explanation.

Apparently my DH once honed his hairdressing skills on his sister when they were round about that age

MIL had to repair the carnage interesting result.

Maybe squeaky and previous posters are right - maybe some drastic "playing at hairdressers with Mummy's hairdressing tools" happened and the other mum was horrified and didn't quite know what to do!

A 7yr old goes to her friend's house to play

Leaves with bum length hair and returns with a bob

There is not a reason on this earth why parental permission should not have been sought.

Mind you, since I think it's all a pile of bollocks anyway...I should have left this thread long ago

Bloody hell! Even I'd be angry at this happening and I don't even like long hair. You seriously need to talk to the mother. She has gone too far.

I'd be furious if either of my boys came home with tram lines in their hair, so it's not just because the OP has a girl.

I think the problem isn't only the fact that the other mother stepped out of line and made a decision that wasn't hers to make. It's also the fact that if the girl regrets her decision it's going to take years to put right. Girls this age often talk about like having their hair cut but the next day they want long hair again. If it were a boy niminy then, because they usually have short hair, in all likelihood he could grow his original hairstyle back within a few weeks or months at the longest.

niminy I would have been angrier if a DS had come home with a buzz cut than if DD had come home long to bob. Only half acceptable explanation is that the girls had been playing hairdressers and Mum tidied it up. I would still not want DD to visit again because of supervision.