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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be furious about dd's hair cut?

481 replies

Hockacholic · 08/05/2012 10:22

7 year old dd went to play at a friends house yesterday. Dd had long bum length hair but when she got dropped home friends mum (a hairdresser) had cut dd's hair into a shoulder length bob! I didn't see the mum as she just dropped dd at the door and she came in on her own. I am so upset dd had never had her hair cut it was lovely, I know I can't do any thing about it now and dd is happy with her new hair style. AIBU to think friends mum should have spoken to me about this first?

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 08/05/2012 10:37

Some of you are rather hysterical comparing it to piercings, alcohol and such like.

pumpkinsweetie · 08/05/2012 10:37

OMG YANBU i would be furious too!!Angry
My lord how does anyone think they have the right to cut someone elses childs hair without their consent !

ILikeTrains · 08/05/2012 10:37

It was definitely off that she didn't check with you first. On the positive side, you now have a free hairdresser for your daughter!

danceswithfools · 08/05/2012 10:37

OP, I feel your pain, my DD is the same age with really long hair and I would feel sad if she wanted it cut, even though I would let her of course because it is her hair. I'm not sure what I would do in your situation, it does seem out of order but if your DD loves it it's probably not worth an argument. Next time you meet maybe just tell her that you felt sad and that it would have been better to run it by you first. Actually, are you sure you are not me??! This is the kind of thing I would spend ages thinking about the best way to deal with!!

supernannyisace · 08/05/2012 10:37

Oof! YANBU.

Fair enough - your DD wanted it cut - but the mother should have telephoned you first to check it was okay.

I would have exploded. Almost exploding now actually... Grin

However, bit late now - but I would still have to have a word with the mother and express anger/upset at not being consulted.

SoupDragon · 08/05/2012 10:38

"I disagree with the sentiment of your post.
But you know that - you're just being peevish.
Carry on."

Yes, of course I knew that because I can read minds. Hmm

Pooka · 08/05/2012 10:38

Ears pierced and hair dyed is completely different to hair cut from bottom length to shoulder length bob.

It is just is - in terms of suitability and in case of ears pierced, quasi-medical procedure without parental consent.

Boyonce · 08/05/2012 10:38

Well, no, it isn't as extreme as piercing or whatever, but YANBU to be furious, OP. I would be too.

pictish · 08/05/2012 10:39

I actually think long, long hair is impractical for children. I approve of short hair.
Even so...I would never take it upon myself to shear a play date.

Pooka · 08/05/2012 10:40

Comparing tattooing a 7 year old with giving them a haircut is just plain ridiculous.

Original poster
Hockacholic · 08/05/2012 10:40

As I said dd is happy with her hair style and I suppose it looks nice. The thing is surely it should be my decision if she got it cut. Friends mum has always been nice in the past and I can't believe she didn't ask me Sad

OP posts:
monkeymoma · 08/05/2012 10:41

YANBU that is WIERD behaviour

WorraLiberty · 08/05/2012 10:41

If this is true OP, the hairdresser has acted illegally so why not sue her and contact your local press?

It'll be all over the Matthew Wright Show by Friday morning.

gingerchick · 08/05/2012 10:42

I would be gutted totally get why you would be, I cried when dd cut her bumlength hair. She just lopped off her plait and I was furious too, I am amazed this woman thought it was ok to do this hairdresser or not I'd be having words. At least your daughter isn't upset and it looks ok tho.

Pooka · 08/05/2012 10:42

Nor would I Pictish, and I would be shocked or surprised if it happened to dd. but if dd had asked and was happy with sensible cut, I would let it lie

Mishy1234 · 08/05/2012 10:42

Wow! Yanbu at all!

Whatever possessed this woman to think it was ok to cut your child's hair? I don't care if your dd wanted it cut, she's only 7 fgs. Even if she told her you had agreed to it, she should have called you first to check.

I would be calling her and asking for an explanation. Completely out of order IMO.

pictish · 08/05/2012 10:42

Well...personally, I'd have to confront the mum - not aggressively, but assertively "you should not have done that".

Then I'd get over it I should think.

She's a cheeky bitch. Yanbu.

Smellslikecatspee · 08/05/2012 10:43

That is just sooooooooooooooooo wrong.

Safmellow · 08/05/2012 10:43

YANBU. If DD wanted her hair cut I think you should have let her. The key point being that it would have been your decision.

I know you don't want a confrontation but I would definitely speak to her friend's mum. You never know, she might come back with a perm/highlights next time!

Sparklingbrook · 08/05/2012 10:43

There's quite a few of DS's mates I would like to give a haircut come to think of it........

LtEveDallas · 08/05/2012 10:44

DD has 'bra strap' length hair. Any shorter and I would not be able to tie it back and plait it in defence of nits. Any longer and the hassle of washing / drying / brushing would be too much.

If DD came home with a shoulder length bob I would be furious - and no doubt would be back to paying a tenner a week in Nit Treatment. I would contact the mother and ask her what the Hell she was playing at.

fedupofnamechanging · 08/05/2012 10:44

Maybe because she is a hairdresser, and cuts kid's hair all the time, she doesn't have the sentimentality that lots of us feel about our children's first 'proper' haircut. That being the case, she simply didn't think it would be a big deal.

I think I'd mention it but not go ape shit because your dd is happy and it does look nice and the woman is generally nice.

MuddlingMackem · 08/05/2012 10:44

YADNBU.

The other mother probably thinks she was being really generous in giving your daughter a free haircut, but she really should have checked with you first. And even if your dd said she wanted her hair cut, it would have been sensible to have given her a chance to be sure that is what she wanted. This is not something which can be instantly undone. Surely the other mother will still be a hairdresser in a fortnight or so, it's not something that had to be done there and then. Confused

However much you hate confrontation, you really need to make it clear to the other mother that this really isn't on. Think of it as doing her a favour, as the next child's parent may not have a problem with confrontation at all! Grin

Salmotrutta · 08/05/2012 10:44

The thing is surely it should be my decision if she got it cut - well, now here I disagree.
If she really wanted it cut you should have let her anyway. The thing that was wrong here was the other mum not checking with you first.

ripsishere · 08/05/2012 10:45

If it is true, it's very odd. I would have been thrilled though. DD has recently had her long hair cut off.
I've been begging for it to happen for about six years.