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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be furious that this woman spoke to me about this in the playground?

276 replies

DollysDrawers · 04/05/2012 17:50

Honest replies please, I'm pissed off but unsure if I'm being over sensitive.

DD is in Y2 and is struggling with her reading. DH and I have spoken with the teacher and she is currently awaiting assessment for dyslexia. DD's teacher and I are working together to help her and she has been really helpful all along.

Anyway, there are parent helpers who go in weekly to read with the children and this woman (I barely know her), who read with DD today, proceeded to come up to me in the playground this afternoon at pick up to tell me, in a VERY loud voice that 'your DD had significant trouble with her reading today, I really think there is a problem. I have not been told she has any special needs, is there anything you need to tell me?'. I was flabbergasted and I am abso fucking lutely furious that she would even discuss this with me, never mind in the playground in full hearing of every other parent and pupil in the school, including DD who was standing beside me. (and I told her this) DD is worried enough about this herself.

She is not a teacher and DD's teacher would not dream of discussing this with me in front of other parents/children.

Do I need to calm down or do I need to kick her in the fucking shins the next time I see her?

OP posts:
EllenJaneisnotmyname · 04/05/2012 17:52

I would be absolutely fucking furious! Angry

lockets · 04/05/2012 17:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Catsdontcare · 04/05/2012 17:52

No you need to march to the head teacher and go ballistic. That's disgraceful

iphoned · 04/05/2012 17:52

You need to tell dd's class teacher.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 04/05/2012 17:52

That is a serious breach of confidentiality. I would be having a quiet word with the teacher about this. I wouldn't want her hearing my child to read.

zipzap · 04/05/2012 17:53

I would complain to the school - if she does this then she is not suitable to be listening to children read and then broadcasting any issues to the world and it's neighbour afterwards.

Definitely speak to the teacher as she sounds nice and explain what this woman did and how it made you and your dd feel, and then ask that she doesn't do reading with your dd again.

lockets · 04/05/2012 17:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lucyellensmumnamechange · 04/05/2012 17:53

You need to land one on her and then go and complain in the strongest of terms to the teacher! Absolytely out of order, who the fuck does she think she is. Id be spitting teeth too yes YADNBU

webwiz · 04/05/2012 17:53

I would complain to your DD's teacher as this woman shouldn't be allowed anywhere near a classroom.

DoingTheBestICan · 04/05/2012 17:53

YAdefNBU,she has got no right to confront you like that,i would see your dd's teacher on Monday & say you do not want the helper to help your dd with her reading again.

We have a helper like this in our school,she is very unprofessional & is always telling parents what the children have been reading,but she only does it when she has an audience.

She has no place in the school if she cant keep her beak out.

camdancer · 04/05/2012 17:54
  1. Kick her in the shins
  2. Talk to DD's teacher. She needs to manage this woman better and explain what confidentiality means. If this woman can't understand then she shouldn't be in the classrom.

Ok, maybe not 1 but I bet it would feel good.

StealthPolarBear · 04/05/2012 17:54

yes what did she say?

SunflowersSmile · 04/05/2012 17:54

Speak or write letter to the teacher if you want to be more formal. Silly woman.

BlackholesAndRevelations · 04/05/2012 17:55

Yup- straight to the head. How very dare she! I'd be furious too- none of her business, the old cow. Thing is, some parents who come in to hear readers automatically assume that makes them some kind of teacher or something. Stupid horrible woman.

JustFab · 04/05/2012 17:55

I would have steam comoing out of ears and she would be never speaking to me again. You must must must speak to the teacher about this asap. She is out of order. I used to help in school and never ever ever discussed anything with any of the parents, even when asked Hmm.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 04/05/2012 17:55

I don't think you need to go as far as kicking her in the shins. She was insensitive, but that doesn't mean she was being malicious. It was stupid of her to say anything in front of your dd and in front of other people, but it depends on how she said it on whether it was that bad. Is there a chance she was being kind and concerned, or was she being quite snidey?

claireinmodena · 04/05/2012 17:56

We had to sign a confidentiality agreement to volounteer at my school. That is so out of order! Talk to the school though.

Mishy1234 · 04/05/2012 17:56

YANBU, that's awful!

Are parent helpers not given something to sign regarding their conduct and confidentiality?

I would definitely be speaking to your DD'S teacher and if I were her, I would be removing this woman from the helpers list.

bibbitybobbitybunny · 04/05/2012 17:56

Well, she hadn't really thought it through, had she? She isn't a teacher and therefore hasn't been trained in the complexities and handling what is a sensitive issue. If she hadn't been told that your dd is being assessed for dyslexia then that is probably an omission on behalf of the school or teacher.

I really don't think you should go ballistic. That would be an extreme overreaction - she is volunteering to benefit all the children in the class and no doubt her heart is in the right place, so perhaps cut her some slack eh?

WorraLiberty · 04/05/2012 17:56

YANBU

I'd be furious at the jumped up wannabe teacher Angry

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 04/05/2012 17:57

The school should be telling helpers that anything they come across in the classroom that is personal to children should be confidential.

bibbitybobbitybunny · 04/05/2012 17:57

Jesus! Just read some of the comments on this thread ... silly old cow, steam coming out of ears,

fgs!

lockets · 04/05/2012 17:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lizzylou · 04/05/2012 17:58

Oh dear a bit of school volunteering has led the daft woman to believe she is an educational expert Shock
Very out of order, rude, tactless and just inappropriate.
Complain to class teacher and Head. Very definitely.

How is your DD after hearing that?

BeeInMyBonnet · 04/05/2012 17:58

Dear lord Shock she is so out of order she's practically meeting herself on the way back. I would complain long and loud and insist she stayed away from dd and I wouldn't care who heard about it in the playground either. That isn't 'helping' that's abusing a position of trust.