to be furious that this woman spoke to me about this in the playground?

[DollysDrawers]

Honest replies please, I'm pissed off but unsure if I'm being over sensitive.

DD is in Y2 and is struggling with her reading. DH and I have spoken with the teacher and she is currently awaiting assessment for dyslexia. DD's teacher and I are working together to help her and she has been really helpful all along.

Anyway, there are parent helpers who go in weekly to read with the children and this woman (I barely know her), who read with DD today, proceeded to come up to me in the playground this afternoon at pick up to tell me, in a VERY loud voice that 'your DD had significant trouble with her reading today, I really think there is a problem. I have not been told she has any special needs, is there anything you need to tell me?'. I was flabbergasted and I am abso fucking lutely furious that she would even discuss this with me, never mind in the playground in full hearing of every other parent and pupil in the school, including DD who was standing beside me. (and I told her this) DD is worried enough about this herself.

She is not a teacher and DD's teacher would not dream of discussing this with me in front of other parents/children.

Do I need to calm down or do I need to kick her in the fucking shins the next time I see her?

Bibbity, me think thou dost protest too much, was it you?

She wasn't breaching confidentiality ... she was speaking to the child's mother.

Look, I agree its not appropriate to do it in the playground and she might have had a loud voice that carries (I don't know, I wasn't there) and I can understand op being annoyed about it.

It isn't her place to discuss a child's difficulties with their parents - that is a breach of confidentiality. She is there to hear readers - not assess them or liaise with parents regarding any perceived difficulties.

At our school I don't think she'd be allowed back. Helpers are given a masseeeeve pack of guidelines and have to sign some confidentiality agreement as I recall.

Bibbity it's on a par with the doctor's surgery filing clerk asking someone about about their referral to the sex clinic in the carpark. 'Fucking furious' is an entirely appropriate response.

agree with Bibbity, nuff said

I would have a quiet word with the head as she acted inappropriately but yes I do think you and the other "furious" posters are overreacting a bit. She sounds a bit dim rather than malicious.

That's what I was thinking manic most TA's would quite rightly leave that sort of comment to the teacher so why on earth does a random mother think she has the right.

yes. I'm a TA and I don't talk to parents

I wouldn't be happy either to be honest :(

Come to think of it, a parent helper at my child's school brought my dd in books from home as she knows she enjoys reading, and she discussed this with me at the school gates - she probably shouldn't have, and I wouldn't have liked her to discuss it with me there if dd hadn't been a strong reader.

I'm sorry this woman wasn't professional, but I hope it doesn't put other parents off helping. If I had more time I'd love to be a helper, but not for a gossip!

Malicious or not is irrelevant, she shouldn't have spoken about this in this way and to the parent.

I would be furious too tbh and it takes a lot to get my back up.

Being dyslexic is not the end of the world, but I'm quite sure that the OP's child didn't want to be discussed loudly in the playground.

I used to help out with reading and we all signed confidentiality thingies and also if we had any issues regarding children we spoke to the teacher - no way would I have spoken to a parent in the playground!

What happens in school should stay there, not go out to the playground.

Well then, how about asking the teacher or head to remind the woman exactly what confidentiality means in these circumstances and to ask her not to do it again.

YANBU.....what a daft woman. Reminds of when Noddy thought he was a policeman and issued tickets to everyone (sorry have listened to Noddy in the car all week....I can hear Mr Plod in my sleep).

yes bibbitybut DD was standing with me and heard every word. why would that be ok?

People who do this want to make themselves sound important, IMO

I would be having a conversation with the head.

Very for you (and your DD). My DD has similar reading difficulties, and I would be in tears in this situation.

[hugs]

This parent helper was well out of order, I'd be complaining.

Can I make a suggestion please? Please say positive and empowering things to your DC about Dyslexia.

I am dyslexic, and went through school being told I was thick, lazy, didn't pay attention etc (before dyslexia was really accepted in this country). Was diagnosed when I went to university at age 24.

Our DS3 was obviously dyslexic, even at preschool (though school refused to believe us untill he was about 8), and we made sure he was told that Dyslexia means your brain works a little differently, you need to learn a little differently, it has nothing at all to do with cleverness, people with Dyslexia often have real strengths in spacial awareness and visual thinking (certainly true in both mine and DS3's case). It really helps to hear some positive stuff, our DS3 has none of the self esteem issues I have about it, and accepts his Dyslexia as being part of what makes him such a clever, creative teen.

As I said, she was being insensitive. It wasn't ok, but to be "fucking furious" is an extreme reaction.

I am actually fuming for you. You need to tell the head and get this woman out. Total breach of confidentiality. If she just had to come and ask you about it she should have been discreet about it at least!

Is dd not aware that she has difficulties with reading?

I seem to be in a parallel universe so will excuse myself from this thread and see if I can find some people who are more my sort to hang out with!

I work with, mainly, dyslexic primary age children. It can be a long hard road for some, but they do get there in the end. I have one who is so chuffed that he can now read what he likes and he really enjoys it.

Bibboty the thing is she's not employed,not had an interview,will have been told the rules.How does the school know that a warning will work,they don't know the lady on a professional level?It's not worth the risk,if she does it again and does even more damage the school wouldn't have a leg to stand on.

There is no way I'd want my child in a class with a helper like that.I don't think any Tom Dick or Harry should be helping in schools,why should kids(and teachers) put up with second rate help?Not following the guidelines,ignoring procedures and giving the teacher a load of crap to deal with is second rate help.

I would be absolutely furious and i would speak to the teacher about what happened and ask her to have a word with her. The teacher needs to make it absolutely clear that this is unacceptable or the cow might do it to someone else. She sounds like a nightmare. I thought it was bad enough that one of the mum readers at our school went round saying she was shocked at how poor some of the children were at reading and she told people what reading group certain kids were on.