to be furious that this woman spoke to me about this in the playground?

[DollysDrawers]

Honest replies please, I'm pissed off but unsure if I'm being over sensitive.

DD is in Y2 and is struggling with her reading. DH and I have spoken with the teacher and she is currently awaiting assessment for dyslexia. DD's teacher and I are working together to help her and she has been really helpful all along.

Anyway, there are parent helpers who go in weekly to read with the children and this woman (I barely know her), who read with DD today, proceeded to come up to me in the playground this afternoon at pick up to tell me, in a VERY loud voice that 'your DD had significant trouble with her reading today, I really think there is a problem. I have not been told she has any special needs, is there anything you need to tell me?'. I was flabbergasted and I am abso fucking lutely furious that she would even discuss this with me, never mind in the playground in full hearing of every other parent and pupil in the school, including DD who was standing beside me. (and I told her this) DD is worried enough about this herself.

She is not a teacher and DD's teacher would not dream of discussing this with me in front of other parents/children.

Do I need to calm down or do I need to kick her in the fucking shins the next time I see her?

As a school Governor I'm sure that the Head would be furious if she knew about this. She has no right to discuss your child's abilities/difficulties with you or anyone else. In fact she is not entitled to express an opinion on anything that goes on when she is volunteering at the school (unless unlawful). Report her.

I can understand why some parents would feel uncomfortable at the thought od certain parents listening to their children read though. Some parents are incredibly smug and love to keep score, so to speak, academically. If someone felt vulnerable and defensive about their child who might be really struggling I can see why they would want that kept between the teacher and themselves, and not for it to become a topic of judgey conversation among certain queen bee types.

Fair enough Teta.
Perhaps if you had written some posters I wouldn't have been so irritated.
It just read to me as if you were saying that anyone who thinks this helper was dreadful and unprofessional is idle and selfish.
But I obviously misunderstood

"The point i'm trying to make is that a lot of schools give absolutely no training possibly for fear of putting people off." how much training do you need to hear a child (of the same age as your own child) read. We have to comment in the childs reading record when we've heard the child read, I wasn't sure what kind of comment they were looking for so I asked the teacher. No training required.

If you need training to tell you not to approach another mother in the playground with your assessment of their childs ability in front of the child, then I would say that your competence to parent (or even live in close proximity to others) should be called into question.

OP - in future I would carry a blanket to school. At the first sign of this woman coming up to talk to you just drape the blanket over her head and pretend she's not there. It will get you into less trouble than just decking her in the playground.

Very well said, Kewcumber.

teta I work at and help at the local school (running after school clubs and doing a specific type of assembly).

Beneficence does not excuse a fragrant breech of confidentiality which is protected by law (details below) and also by the common sense law of "I'm not qualified, I should report my concerns to the Teacher and then mind my own flipping business."

She didn't even have the sense to do it quietly.

If she has not recieved training in confidentiality issues then take 3/4 of my Vitriol and apply it to the school instead. Do speak to the one you volunteer at as they have dropped the ball, (they aren't the only ones sadly).

Source of info

Data Protection Act 1998 (DPA) (Stuff in brackets is me).

The DPA regulates the handling of personal information relating to living individuals. Personal information includes their:
name
contact details
gender
ethnicity
religion
date of birth
behaviour
exam results (this would include assessments)
medical history
offending history.

The DPA requires your school to:
process personal information fairly and lawfully
only collect personal information you need for specific purposes
ensure the information is relevant and up to date
only hold as much information as you need and only for as long as you need it
keep personal information secure.

The Act also gives people the right to find out what personal information is held about them on computer and most paper records. So it is important that you manage personal information carefully and keep it for the right amount of time.

Common law duty of confidence

The common law duty of confidence requires that confidential information can be disclosed only with the permission of the person who provided it, or the person the information relates to, unless there is an overriding public interest in disclosing the information without permission. (For example to meet legal requirements).

Still no update???

You are not unreasonable at all. I used to be a teacher and would never do that because it is unprofessional. It is not her place at all to comment on your child's abilities, besides she is not qualified to judge. She sounds as if she has visions of grandeur and is now an 'expert' because she helps out. Oh you are right to be angry - she is one of the parents that makes life difficult for everyone involved in education.

I would have a nice word with your DD's teacher - ask about your daughter's reading and mention that this woman spoke to you in the playground. Play the softly softly approach first with if it happens again get louder in your approach. I have to admit parents who shout loudest always get what they need in the school system - even if it is to get them to stop nagging.

Where are you OP?

I need to know if you opened up a can of whoop-ass!?!

God if we don't get an update soon we're going to have to organise a mn coach trip and find out

Aw crap I'm so sorry I didn't realise anyone was waiting for an update, I'm sorry. I did speak to the class teacher and she was mightily pissed off especially as I was the second person to complain about the same woman that day. I found out afterwards that she had told another parent, again in the playground, that she clearly wasn't reading with her child at home because it showed in the childs reading ability. (I found this out because the other parent told me herself ) Upshot is that this woman has been advised that she will no longer be able to read with the children. Every other parent helper at the school is fantastic and they do a great job but the school insist that confidentiality is paramount. She very pointedly ignores me now which is fine by me.

Well done for speaking up.

Glad to hear it worked out!

Good for you.

(And isn't it always people like this who start ignoring people when they're shown up?)

Good for you. What an incredibly stupid woman.

Hurrah! Good for you and good for school.

Cheers Dolly, good to know. I still think the head should have chucked her out by the pigtails like

Thanks for the update. and that she's done this to another mum, but I guess it's a good thing as it spurred the school to act. Don't know what's worse - her rudeness or her sheer stupidity!

Good result!

Cant believe the stupid woman is ignoring you! She should be apologising profusely! Thank goodness the school acted! What a silly woman she is!

Good result! What an awful old busybody she sounds. Glad the school took this seriously and acted.

Hurrah for you and the school. What a cheek though, to ignore and blame you, when she brought this on herself. Stupid cow.

I'm glad you spoke to the head and glad the head has acted quite properly by stopping this awful woman having anything to do with other children. You've probably saved a lot of heartache and embarrassment amongst other parents who would have suffered this woman's unwanted announcements.