to not want to change our plans for one family?

[kumakaka]

DD is about to turn 12 - her party is the weekend after next. She has recently got into the Back to the Future films and wants a few friends over for a "Back to the Future" themed afternoon/early evening (bit retro I know, but that's what she wants!), the main part of which will be watching the first film. That's fine with me, I think the films are entirely appropriate for that age group.

Anyway, one of her friends is from a very strict religious family. There are many things this girl is not allowed to do, including going anywhere on Sundays. Because of this we are having the party on the Saturday, even though Sunday would actually be more convenient as DD has a sports match on Saturday too.

She sent out an invitation a couple of days ago and most have already replied saying they are looking forward to it. The girl from the religious family sent an email last night - she said that although the party sounds fun and she would like to come, her parents (and her apparently) feel that Back to the Future is not an appropriate choice of film and could we change it?

DD is upset - she wants her friend to come but has been looking forward to this for a while now. I told her to think about it and not reply just yet.

What should we do?

Crikey kumakaka - that's a law suit waiting to happen.
Have they been checked by police? They stay to "watch" other kids too?

I'm afraid I'm finding this all too weird.

I would say it by turning it into a positive.

So instead of saying 'we've already bent over backwards for you'.

You could say 'it is so important to our DD that your DD is there we have held the party on the saturday even though sunday would have been better, so please don't take it as a slight on her when we suggest she arrives after the film finishes - rest assured she is very welcome and wanted (see example of changed day) and we will make sure the film finishes at a set time so you don't have to worry'.

That way it is couched as an example of the DD's value not her parents pain in the ass-ness - but still gets across the point you have already been generous and some recognition of your compromise wouldn't be a bad thing.

A non-confrontational way of making your point. tadaaaaa

hth
:)

Bruxeur just looked at your link - imagine!? Fun party....

I feel pretty sure now that I don't want dd to change everything for her friend, but in the end I'll leave it up to her. She has compromised in small ways before - she said she tries not to talk about parties etc her friend has missed to not upset her. But this is different.

Of course say no! Tell the friend she is welcome to come at x time after the film has finished. You've already changed the time to suit her!

Ginpalace thanks that is a great way to say it.

They have stayed at parties to check what films were being watched/music being played etc. I wouldn't say it was creepy but annoying for the hosts and probably their own dcs!

Its a no from me. I let my 7 year old watch BTTF.

Glad you liked it OP. :)

On the plus side the DD of these folk must be totally lovely to be so popular despite the baggage of her parents she is lumbered with.

I am as my popularity at this age couldn't have weathered these storms at all.

Mine too alwaystheblacksheep. That's what often happens with younger siblings. I don't how that family decides who can watch what as they have many children ranging from baby to teen.

Can I come, I your DDs party sounds cool.

GinPalace the girl is very confident at the moment, a real leader, always ready to perform and be centre stage. I suppose that gets you quite a long way. TBH I find her a bit manipulative with DD at times but I stay out of it as DD insists they are friends.

I am dying to know what the problem with the film is!

Your DD sounds like a lovely friend to have.

So the family are objecting to a film where

• a mad professor who lies and steals and gets shot by a bunch of terrorists
• a time travelling machine which infers that people are in charge of their own destiny and not part of God's will *incest *bullying *underage drinking *smoking *sexual assault and attempted rape *swearing
• a character avoids dying when it is his "time" by reading a letter from the future that leads to him wearing a bullet proof vest, again avoiding God's will

I think they have a point. I'd get "Saw" instead

Of course, alwaystheblacksheep, as long as you're ok with the film. I'm doing chocolate fudge cake and tacos

Thank you Instructions she is a lovely kind girl who can do impressive 12 year old strops.

Oooh now I want to see Saw.

Just thought we should also have "pepsi free".

Pm your address, your DD is a lucky girl. Nom,nom chocolate fudge cake. Is that not the devil's food?

Hahaha I read that as you want to see-saw (marjorie daw) - thought the thread had taken an unusual twist.

This is not your problem, it's theirs, don't let them dictate to you or dd.

I strongly suspect come teen years they will drift apart anyway.

Very rude people, back to future is a brill film.

Billy, your post a joke right????

Where we're going, we don't need jokes.

Yes thebody

DD1 may well have watched this film at xmas. She is not yet 3