to not want to change our plans for one family?

[kumakaka]

DD is about to turn 12 - her party is the weekend after next. She has recently got into the Back to the Future films and wants a few friends over for a "Back to the Future" themed afternoon/early evening (bit retro I know, but that's what she wants!), the main part of which will be watching the first film. That's fine with me, I think the films are entirely appropriate for that age group.

Anyway, one of her friends is from a very strict religious family. There are many things this girl is not allowed to do, including going anywhere on Sundays. Because of this we are having the party on the Saturday, even though Sunday would actually be more convenient as DD has a sports match on Saturday too.

She sent out an invitation a couple of days ago and most have already replied saying they are looking forward to it. The girl from the religious family sent an email last night - she said that although the party sounds fun and she would like to come, her parents (and her apparently) feel that Back to the Future is not an appropriate choice of film and could we change it?

DD is upset - she wants her friend to come but has been looking forward to this for a while now. I told her to think about it and not reply just yet.

What should we do?

DD said she would rather sort it out herself with her friend. She said she told her friend she really wanted BTTF and could she come after the film? Her friend said ok apparently. Not sure if that means it's all sorted or if I should still speak to the mum.

Good result it seems :) hope they all have fun!

I haven't seen BTTF, I'm surprised it has swearing (possibly one of those films that would have a different rating if it were released now?) but I think it's cool that your DD has retro taste. At that age I was mostly into Monty Python and Fawlty Towers :o

I don't think the religion or the movie are terribly relevant anyway, as no matter what the reason it is just rude to expect somebody else to change their party for you. I'm glad you stood your ground.

BTTF is a classic... Can't describe it as timeless for more reasons than one (omg I'm so witty ), but all the 12 year olds in the country should see it. I understand it has already featured on many film and entertainment type courses.

The scene in the carpark (Biff attacking Marty's mum) is classic good versus evil stuff and kids will already be well used to the theme (seen Shrek, anyone?). I think it sends out a very clear message that Biff's bullying is wrong.

As for bad language, I don't think it is excessive at all ('damn, where is that boy? Damn, damn' is the worst I can remember and when you see that in context, it's just funny).

Glad there seems to have been a happy outcome, OP!

Let us know how it goes!

Totally agree that you shouldn't change the film

BUT my son was freaked out by the second Back to The Future film (when the mum has huge fake tits, drinks and Biff - her husband - hits her). It terrified him! He was however nine at the time!

Also, I guess some could think the whole mum fancying her son thing in the first film a bit off!

Thanks everyone - I agree, good result. It has really helped to be able to discuss it on here and I feel like we've done the right thing not changing our plans without being too insensitive.

I remember watching BTTF at roughly the same age and really enjoying it. The issues an adult would see went totally over my head I think. Admittedly I was a rather naive 12yo looking back! Same goes for reading those quality Virginia Andrews books not long after that - as I remember those contained child abuse, incest, rape(?) but all I remember is that they were what everyone was reading and I wanted to as well! (and enjoyed them, can't think why now....)

Well, I started reading this thread thinking the friend's mum was crazy, but OP, after reading what you said about yoga, I have to say I think you're crazy, too!

Just to add I do think it is a good thing for children of all religions/faiths/non believers etc etc to mix and know that you can be a good friend with someone, even if they have very differing opinions/homelives to you.