to change tampon etc in front of DD (2.10)?

[PatButchersEarring]

Genuine question. DD has recently started asking me 'why I'm putting that up my bottom!', and I'm struggling to explain in an age appropriate way what it is I'm doing.

I mentioned this to DP last night, and his response was that I shouldn't really be changing sanitary wear in front of her if I can possibly help it.

I mean, it's not like I frog march her to the bathroom to witness the magic of my menstruation-but if she's trailing after me chatting etc, I just get on with it and do what I have to do in her presence.

AIBU to be doing this in front of her?

Just give a simple explanation.

"Adult ladies have blood every month if they don't have a baby growing."

"Tampons catch the blood like a nappy."

For the people who have never had to go to the loo with a toddler- did you always have someone to look after the toddler when you needed the loo in public?

I often go shopping with the kids and I could never trust my kids not to get into trouble while I was in the loo. It wasn't until they were 4 or so that I could say "Wait outside my cubicle and chat with me until I'm done"

Mrs Lettuce - you're so cool !

YANBU. The time of following you around will pass, and they may not even remember seeing you do this anyway. But until then, explain that it is a bodily function that all women have, and like you clean up poo when you have been to the toilet, you clean up your period. They will not want any further explanation, it will bore them!

They follow you everywhere. What can you do.
I told they dd they are called tampoooooooons. That was all the explanation she needed.

othingoldcanstay aw @ 'tadpoles' -that is so cute!

Ach my kids spectate just about everything I do. They do not care for personal space and generally invade the bathroom when I am using the loo, changing tampons, shaving my legs. I don't have an issue should they catch me changing a tampon, periods are natural and they are just told its a grown up girl thing.

I happily strut about the house bollock naked after a shower whilst they shriek look at mummy's big bum and other such compliments.

Yanbu.

Thats a very good explanation MrsLettuce. Ds who is five has asked and understands pretty well but dd who is two hasnt asked but will explain it to her when she does.

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Mrs Lettuce seems to have it right, imo.

This reminds me of a colleague who wouldn't let her husband see her naked!

I wouldn't. I don't think there's anything wrong or shameful about periods/tampons. But I like my privacy in the bathroom, wouldn't want anyone to watch me going to the loo either. I managed to understand what periods were, and work out how to insert a tampon (there are instructions on the packet!) without watching my mum change hers.

Those of you telling your daughters that periods don't hurt - they could be in for a nasty shock when they get theirs! They can be very painful indeed.

YANBU and I feel a bit sad that some people think it's something to be hidden away and glossed over. I give much the same response as MrsLettuce and it's never bothered DD (now 5 and a half) one bit. It doesn't bother me, either. The earlier she sees it as a normal and natural part of life the better. I still don't often get to go to the loo on my own, apart from when she's at school so I have no choice! But even if I did have a choice, I can't see how making it into a big mystery could help anyone or be in any way desirable.

I don't tell her it doesn't hurt, btw, I tell her that some people get a tummy ache when they have their period but it's OK because then they just take grown up Calpol. As she rather likes Calpol, she sees this as a positive thing.

MrsLettuce- will be using your fab explanation. Thanks!

My mum always changed her sanitary pads in front of me and whilst I remember finding it a bit icky, it also seemed very, very normal. I can never remember not knowing that I would have periods, worrying about periods, thinking it was because she had cut herself etc.

I think DM said something like 'It's just my period, it happens once a month, it's a bit messy so I use this'.

But tbh because she was so chilled about it I don't even remember having That Conversation.

Mind you, this is also the woman who described a car indicator as being 'like a vaginal pulse'

How do you not do this? I took dd1 into public toilets at 2.5 and no way was I leaving her unattended outside the cubical. I took her in with me and she saw my pad had blood on it.... I usually distract her but on this occasion the room had nothing to point at. She said loudly "why is there blood in your knickers mummy?" I replied "It's just my period, it happens when you're older." dd "oh... can we have lunch soon?" And it was never mentioned again, I doubt she even remembers the conversation as I didn't make a big thing about it. She's now 4 and seems unharmed by my honesty.

Er, who said anything about saying periods are painless?

I tell them it's not a hurt, as in I'm not wounded.

"mama's body has to work hard to clean away the soft nest to make the period, it's a bit sore which is why mama is grumpy. I think I need some medicine"

they hurt because you're using a tampon... try a mooncup.

• obviously there's no point terrifiying little girls with the prospect of horrible pain, just thinking of how 'cheated' I felt by those little booklets that talked about how some girls might have 'mild discomfort'! Periods can be absolute agony, and that often just isn't talked about or taken seriously. Not really relevant to the discussion about small children though, sorry for the slight derail...

there would be absolutely no point getting to that level of detail with a child, i agree. although i am serious about the mooncup. totally changed my life.

My DS once burst in when I was inserting a tampon (he was about 2.5 at the time) and afterwards he asked 'What's wrong with your willy?'. I explained SO many times that I do not have a willy, what a tampon is etc. but he just wouldn't accept it and kept chatting to me about my 'willy' in public. He even told my MIL that I had a willy and that he'd seen it in the bath . He's forgotten about it now though, at last!

I might when my 2 year is around but probably not when my 4 year is around. Bums willies and fannies are not shameful but they are private, ditto using the toilet. I wouldn't hide tampons, happy to explain but I wouldn't provide a demonstration.

At 3 , children will still link it with a cut/pain...it can make them worry

Then you explain it to them!

I have 3 sons and they all saw at some point when they were smaller, they all know exactly what periods are too.

Cant believe so many women are still treating it like a shameful secret.

they hurt because you're using a tampon... try a mooncup

They hurt even if you dont use a tampon! come on I know mooncups work for some people, but no way do they eliminate period pain totally.

Aitch / mooncuppers - I have a significant rectiole which I've always assumed ruled out a mooncup. Any idea if that's right?