to change tampon etc in front of DD (2.10)?

[PatButchersEarring]

Genuine question. DD has recently started asking me 'why I'm putting that up my bottom!', and I'm struggling to explain in an age appropriate way what it is I'm doing.

I mentioned this to DP last night, and his response was that I shouldn't really be changing sanitary wear in front of her if I can possibly help it.

I mean, it's not like I frog march her to the bathroom to witness the magic of my menstruation-but if she's trailing after me chatting etc, I just get on with it and do what I have to do in her presence.

AIBU to be doing this in front of her?

I can't remember the last time I went to the toilet alone. Dd 4 has a habit of following me to the loo EVERYTIME. Can't recall the amount of times I've shouted "LET ME POO IN PEACE". I have changed my pads in front of her after I gave birth but she never questioned it. She just found looking at my bum funny. I think at age 2.5 it's fine.

GrahamTribe, its not my choice! dd follows me in and I can't leave her alone downstairs unsupervised can I?

MissPricklePants, I managed to raise two children without ever having an audience in the washroom.

Same here Graham and I raised 3.

Also, I managed to get all through my childhood without myself or my 4 brothers and sisters seeing my Mum's hoo-haa.

Is this a record?

Maybe because I've always worked with young children Aitch I like a simple explanation. I think Mrs Lettuce has it about covered really for any age - but obviously DD can always ask questions.

Sometimes my DCs do say to me "We're not 3 Mum, like your little kids !"

a 'soft nest' for a 13 year old?! seriously?

Our bathroom is the size of a postage stamp, the doors open more often than not.
DDs and DH wandering in and out does bother me at all.
They've seen me with tampons and pads, although generally I do kick the door shut for the messy bit.

They've wandered in when I'm taking my pill too. So they know Mum takes little white pills because we don't have room for another baby.

Maybe Worra, but only because I have no siblings. I've managed to get to a fine age without ever seeing my mum's hoo-haa too.

Your mum's WHAT? Hoo-ha? FGS.
Half the population have got a vulva and a vagina. They have periods, usually once a month, usually for quite a bit of their adult life. Why the shock? Why the secrecy?

YANBU. Menstruation is a bodily function! It's nothing dirty or sexual so why shouldn't they know. My DD (3) knows all about periods and why women have them. It's a normal part of life and nothing to be ashamed of. Children are curious and ats a good thing :)

I have loads of sisters, I have no interest in seeing their fanjos or me mothers, likewise I would be very disconcerted if one of them put atampon up my sleeve thank you

I have managed to be part of a family and raise a family without anyone seeing me on the jacks. Not because thngs are dirty or unclean but because they are private!

by sleeve do you mean vulva?

But what's the big deal about letting your kids see your minge? They saw enough of it when they bloody well pushed their way out of it didn't they?

Every kid is different. I had kids that I couldn't leave alone in a room whilst I went to the toilet, so the safest thing to do was to take them with me. After that I just never bothered. I think it's important that both genders know all about periods. It's not bleeding from your bum (which sounds more frightening) it's bleeding from the vagina, which both of mine know is a middle hole inbetween the wee hole and the bum hole which is used for sex and for pushing babies out of.

You bleed to let you know that you do not have a baby inside you. It happens every month. It is not painful but sometimes you have tummy aches and can feel sad. The bleeding last for around 7 days but it doesn't bleed very much after the first couple of days.

There, that should answer most questions.

I don't want my kids to feel embarrassed about any part of their body or to feel repulsed by mine. They both came out of my minge and both had my breasts fully in their faces from being newborn, so there's no point in being a prude later on.

Well to be honest I don't think my daughter will remember seeing me changing a tampon and certainly won't follow me there when she gets older so don't see an issue. Each to their own! But how on earth do you manage to get a moments peace to do it in private?

I am pmsl at the experiments with tampons.

I told ds1 what tampons were when he was little as he wouldn't stop playing with them. As soon as he found out where they were inserted, he stopped playing with them [result] but started telling EVERYONE about it.

No Aitch by sleeve, I mean chuff...

YANBU at all.
I am amazed that anyone thinks you are or that it is gross, disgusting or anything like.
I am a private person. I didnt have much privacy as a child so I tend to be a little bit guarded now but I feel very strongly that these things should not be hidden away.

It makes them dirty, scary, mysterious and shameful.

Whilst I dislike periods I do not think they are any of they above.

THis is from a grown woman who can barely utter the word 'period' out loud

WTF is that about? Because I am nearly 45 and grew up in a society that made periods something horrible and dirty perhaps?

My beautiful girl never got a chance to start her periods. One of my regrets (which may seem very odd) was that I never got the opportunity to help her feel comfortable and confident when they did. I had plans. Nothing weird, but I had plans to make sure she never felt the way I did.

Maybe those who are lucky enough to have their DDs and have the priviledge to support them though puberty should think about that.

I think you'll find that Worra was "hoo-haa" in a joking way, gnushoes. And it isn't about "secrecy", it's about privacy and dignity. Some things I just don't want an audience for and going to the washroom, for whatever reason, is one of them. Believe me I find your way of doing things just as odd as you appear to find mine.

Applauds Graham

I don't think there's anything seriously wrong with taking her in to the toilet if you had to and change infront of her, but I always turned DS away and distracted him while I changed if I was in the same situation.

But do your children not see you naked anyway? I have 6, 4 and 1 year old daughters and if we're on our own and I go for a shower upstairs and stick them in their room, they're are always barging in with "why is the sky blue?", "why can't I have a gerbil?", "why do you have hair there?" etc.

I also like them to see what a normal womans body in her late 30s looks like.

wigglesrock, we have a lock on our bathroom door.

I need to leave the door slightly open when I have a shower to listen out for DS but I have a shower curtain so if he comes in he doesn't see me naked, and I close the bedroom door if I'm getting changed so he doesn't see me naked.

it's undignified to change your tampon?!

that's so fucked up.

MrsLettuce spot on!!

Can't see the problem. It's natural. The earlier kids understand the facts of life the less mysterious and frightening it will be when they reach adolescence.