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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To keep DD off school tomorrow just because I want to take her to see my Mum?

239 replies

TheHouseOnTheCorner · 01/05/2012 22:24

She's 7 and in year three. My Mum hasn't been well but is better now...she's had a run of crap luck and her car is now off the road. It MAY be fixable or not and I know she wont be able to afford another one really. It's her birthday tomorrow (mums) and I am planning to go on the train with DD aged 4 tto visit her...take a present etc...I know Mum will like this.

I want, I have just decided to take DD1 aswell. Mainly because Mum will like this and because DD will like it. We rarely go there as I dont drive and Mum hasnt been here for about 3 weeks...not long...but it is when you're 7 and haven't seen your Gran in ages....and you're used to seeing her three times a week.

AIBU to give DD the day off and take her to see Mum instead? She's probably had about 4 or 5 days off this year through sickness.

OP posts:
dexter73 · 01/05/2012 22:27

Half the replies will say take her, half will say don't take her. It's your call really.

StrandedBear · 01/05/2012 22:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MsKittyFane · 01/05/2012 22:29

YANBU. Go :)

WorraLiberty · 01/05/2012 22:29

If you're going to be honest and tell the school why then it's up to you I suppose.

valiumredhead · 01/05/2012 22:30

Gran trumps school every time imo :)

McHappyPants2012 · 01/05/2012 22:31

agree with Dexter, it's your call.

I wouldn't take ds almost 6 as he is way behind in school and 1 day off will set him back further

irregularegular · 01/05/2012 22:32

It's a school day. Can't you wait until the weekend and take them both?

Would you be able to look the head in the eye and ask for an authorised absence? Or would you lie and say she was ill? If you think it's a valid enough reason to ask for an authorised absence, then fine. If you're planning to lie then you know it's not right really.

gaunyerseljeannie · 01/05/2012 22:33

Gran every time.

Original poster
TheHouseOnTheCorner · 01/05/2012 22:33

I'm working at the weekend i should have said...DH could take them then but it's her birthday tomorrow and she's MY mum not his. Grin

I feel GUILTY already though and DD does seem to moan more when she's had a day off and then has to go back....guilty already. Worra what would school THINK though? If I was honest?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 01/05/2012 22:34

I don't really know why you're asking us because....

A) I suspect you'll do it anyway because why would you listen to faceless people on the internet.

B) Only the Head can tell you if you're being unreasonable.

Sarcalogos · 01/05/2012 22:34

Yabu, go at the weekend. It will be lovely for the adults involved if you go tomorrow, but it is a very mixed message to be sending to your dd.

SodThat · 01/05/2012 22:35

Go and enjoy your day. I have done this sort of thing Msny times over the years with my dc. Never been a problem about missing schoolwork and all that nonsense. It is one day.

WorraLiberty · 01/05/2012 22:36

If you were honest (and I really hope you're not going to encourage your child to lie) they wouldn't authorise it.

If they did, that would advocate taking every child out of school to visit people on their Birthdays or for other unacceptable reasons.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 01/05/2012 22:36

The school is likely to see this an unauthorised absence is my guess which I think is right. Unless your Mum was at death's door or it was an emergency.

valiumredhead · 01/05/2012 22:38

worra not true - ds's school authorised a day to visit a sick grandparent last year.

WorraLiberty · 01/05/2012 22:38

valium the grandparent isn't sick

The purpose of the visit is a Birthday

valiumredhead · 01/05/2012 22:40

Oh! Granny still trumps school imo Grin

Original poster
TheHouseOnTheCorner · 01/05/2012 22:41

Yes....worra I asked with genuine need for advice. So you're just rude.

I hadn't thought of lying about it....all I had thought of was whether it was a crappy reason and I was being indulgent.

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 01/05/2012 22:43

Personally I would ring in and say dd is off colour or you have a family emergency/event. I have no problems doing things like that though, I know some people see it as lying and A Bad Thing.

trixymalixy · 01/05/2012 22:43

It is a crappy reason and you are being indulgent. HTH.

ThisIsMummyPig · 01/05/2012 22:43

You are being unreasonable. School is important, birthdays over the age of 21 are not.

Can you not take her for her tea. You could go straight from school, and come back in time to put her in jimjams.

My mother wouldn't want to see my daughter on a school day.

WorraLiberty · 01/05/2012 22:44

It is a crappy reason and you are being indulgent imo

And that's not rude

That's me answering your question for you.

Loshad · 01/05/2012 22:46

If you decide to do this don't come moaning back about your dd in a few years time when she sees school as irrelevant

Wolfiefan · 01/05/2012 22:46

Hmm she moans after a day off. How many days off does she have? Each day off is hours of learning lost.

difficultpickle · 01/05/2012 22:47

What does your mum say? If it were my mum and I said I was keeping ds (also yr 3) off school to visit her she would be mortified.

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