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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To keep DD off school tomorrow just because I want to take her to see my Mum?

239 replies

TheHouseOnTheCorner · 01/05/2012 22:24

She's 7 and in year three. My Mum hasn't been well but is better now...she's had a run of crap luck and her car is now off the road. It MAY be fixable or not and I know she wont be able to afford another one really. It's her birthday tomorrow (mums) and I am planning to go on the train with DD aged 4 tto visit her...take a present etc...I know Mum will like this.

I want, I have just decided to take DD1 aswell. Mainly because Mum will like this and because DD will like it. We rarely go there as I dont drive and Mum hasnt been here for about 3 weeks...not long...but it is when you're 7 and haven't seen your Gran in ages....and you're used to seeing her three times a week.

AIBU to give DD the day off and take her to see Mum instead? She's probably had about 4 or 5 days off this year through sickness.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 01/05/2012 23:14

Just to put it into perspective

5 days off is 10 missed school sessions

SodThat · 01/05/2012 23:15

my dd is studying for a levels in maths and 2 languages. she has had days off thoughouut her schooling for similar reasons. I have let mine take a day off whenever they feel under the weather or for special occasions.

No harm done.

Same for the other 2

Meow75isknittinglikemad · 01/05/2012 23:16

to be honest, I think I would take her. You say your mum HAS been unwell recently and she is having these car issues, I would go, AND I wouldn't tell her I was coming with BOTH children either. I'd have nice things to eat, and just have a lovely girls with their mum and nan day.

BTW, the OP has said she's working at the weekend, for those that haven't noticed.

Not wanting to depress the situation but my mum passed away very young - 45, I was 22 - I'd take every day I could if I had kids now, and send them to school when there weren't other things to do.

Controversial? Absolutely, but I don't care!!

rainbow2000 · 01/05/2012 23:16

Go cause in a few years youreMum wont be here but you will remember it

rainbow2000 · 01/05/2012 23:19

Im the same Meow75isknittinglikemad my ma died young and id love to be able to have more days with her,she didnt even meet my 3 youngest ds.

Wolfiefan · 01/05/2012 23:20

School is not optional. In this house there has to be projectile vomit or similar to take time off!

TheSockPuppet · 01/05/2012 23:20

I thought you were going to say your dd hadn't seen her gran in a year or two, not 3 weeks. I really don't think that's very long and think yabu but it's your call to make and it's not like she's off school every other week.

What would you say to school, that she's unwell? Would dd be ok with pretending she was ill if asked the next day about it? (like a 'oh I hope you're feeling better now?' casual remark, not an interrogation!),

BackforGood · 01/05/2012 23:23

YABU.

You've just had an Easter holiday - 2 weeks for most.
There are 3 days this coming weekend.

Don't know about you but my dc's school has a day off on thursday for the elections ?
In 4 weeks time there is another week off school.
You say yourself your Mum 'hasn't been very well but is better now' - it doesn't sound like some kind of 'last chance to see her'.
You said they saw her 3 weeks ago.
Your Mum is an adult, she understands people can't 'drop everything' to be with her on her birthday. Normal people even children celebrate their birthday when it's convenient to get together with the people they want to celebrate with.
There is no possible justification for taking her out of school for this.

Housewifefromheaven · 01/05/2012 23:24

What wolfiefan said.

difficultpickle · 01/05/2012 23:26

OP I can only say how my mum would react and honestly she would be mortified if I told her ds was skipping school for her birthday. My dad died long before ds was born but I still wouldn't expect him to miss school for his only remaining grandparent's birthday!

DumSpiroSpero · 01/05/2012 23:29

I would take her and I'd tell the school the truth tbh. Under the circumstances and given your DD's age it's hardly going to cause the sky to fall in.

My DD is in Yr 2 and the school doesn't do 'authorised' absence at all - not even on the one day in three years my DD has had off to do something 'frivolous' (being a bridesmaid at her aunt's wedding!), so asking for it would be completely pointless in our case.

AmberLeaf · 01/05/2012 23:30

Sounds like a lovely idea OP.

Id go.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 01/05/2012 23:31

YABU because you are sending your daughter the message that it's ok to take a day off work or school when you fancy it if you can justify it with any pathetic non excuse you can be bothered to think up. It's not ok, it setting her up to be selfish and lazy.

Pooka · 01/05/2012 23:32

Another one with a mum that would go Shock if I were to do the same.

I think it is a really bad idea.

DumSpiroSpero · 01/05/2012 23:32

Or perhaps the OP is teaching her DD that sometimes, just sometimes, the people we love are more important than toeing the line.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 01/05/2012 23:32

OP -is your school closed on Thursday for the election?

McHappyPants2012 · 01/05/2012 23:33

op it looks like you are going to take her no matter what anyone says so why start the thread in the 1st place

LapsedPacifist · 01/05/2012 23:40

Since when did the state own our children or dictate what is the most important thing for a 4 year old to be doing? She isn't sitting GCSE exams like my DS!

This is a one-off situation. We have no reason to think the OP is a skanky Ho who won't send her kids to school 'cos she has a hangover innit Hmm

"Its the Law"!!! - Yeah. Right. What is "Selfish" or "Lazy" about saying that visiting Gran is more important for one day than school, for ONE DAY when you are 4?

Are we all brainwashed sheep?

WorraLiberty · 01/05/2012 23:46

She's 7 by the way.....

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 01/05/2012 23:56

Because you may as well say 'Come on dd, let's go and do something more fun than school. School doesn't matter that much anyway, you won't miss anything important'.

Children need consistency. There is no point telling children that doing well at school is important with words, then showing that it isn't by your actions. 7yos are a little young to understand it the way adults do.

lisaro · 01/05/2012 23:56

You're wrong to do this. Your mum is an adult surely she'd rather wait a few days to see the child than have her miss school for no big reason.

trixymalixy · 02/05/2012 00:05

What's a one off situation? It's not a special birthday, the OP's mum isn't unwell anymore and I'm failing to see what the car troubles have to do with it.

wannabeamillionaire · 02/05/2012 00:12

yanbu: yr mum has had a run of crap luck, its her birthday It will cheer her up.

Dollydoolally · 02/05/2012 00:31

I would say go! She's 7 years old, it's not like she's missing a uni lecture for heaven's sake! But then I am contemplating moving to Spain after 6 months travelling with our kids aged 10 and 8 and home-educating! Life is too short, family is important, one day won't hurt!

Dollydoolally · 02/05/2012 00:34

And totally well said LapsedPacifist!

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