To keep DD off school tomorrow just because I want to take her to see my Mum?

[TheHouseOnTheCorner]

She's 7 and in year three. My Mum hasn't been well but is better now...she's had a run of crap luck and her car is now off the road. It MAY be fixable or not and I know she wont be able to afford another one really. It's her birthday tomorrow (mums) and I am planning to go on the train with DD aged 4 tto visit her...take a present etc...I know Mum will like this.

I want, I have just decided to take DD1 aswell. Mainly because Mum will like this and because DD will like it. We rarely go there as I dont drive and Mum hasnt been here for about 3 weeks...not long...but it is when you're 7 and haven't seen your Gran in ages....and you're used to seeing her three times a week.

AIBU to give DD the day off and take her to see Mum instead? She's probably had about 4 or 5 days off this year through sickness.

You should take her to see your mum. Of course.

I also think 4 or 5 days off school is quite a lot and I'd have thought more than average.

What time do you need to leave? If you could be there by 9 at your mums you could ring school, say you had to help your mum with car trouble, been delayed,will travel back today so DD will be back in good time for tomorrow. I can't see a lie in that :)

my mum or MIL wouldn't be happy either.

YABU. See your Mum at the earliest opportunity which doesn't involve taking your DD out of school.

wolfie she's had around 4 or 5 this year. I have no idea if that's too many...they were due to sickness. Once she had a bad stomach thing around Christmas time and another time she had a rash and temp.

at all the posters who think half truths or lies are ok, great example for your dd

YANBU. My mum used to let me have the occasional day off school to do nice things, and I have some lovely memories. I don't think a day makes much difference tbh. And now I've grown up to be a highly qualified professional, so obviously a few days off didn't ruin my life.

bisjo jesus..."mortfied" is quite dramatic!

Mine wouldn't judge...she'd say whatever I thought best was right. I am erring on the side of not doing it now though...which is why I asked on here!

It doesn't matter how much time she's already had off

What matters is that you're not psychic so you don't know how much time she's going to have off during the rest of the school year.

4or 5 days off school is quite a lot.

LoshadTue 01-May-12 22:46:36

If you decide to do this don't come moaning back about your dd in a few years time when she sees school as irrelevant

I think you will find most teens think this, whether or not they have had a day off in year 3

Interestingly Bumgrapes (feel rude calling you that!) My Mum was of the NO DAYS OFF school of thought. I had to be literally prostrate to get off school.

I've also done quite well! my sister was very relaxed with her DC and having the odd day off and her DC are both doing well too. I'm a stickler for punctuality mind you....I bang the importance of that in their little heads.

It's not about 'having a day off in year 3'

It's about being taught that school is so irrelevant, it can be dropped like shit off a shovel for no reason.

And sorry but an adult's birthday is not a good reason imo.

trixy is it really? In two terms? God. Other people's kids must never get ill! Mine aren't ill a lot but they all get tummy bugs and things at 7 surely? Do people send them in then?

School is sacrosanct in our house. Unless you are dying or bleeding (or highly contagious) you go to school. Full stop.

Sorry OP I think YABU.

I see that it maybe feels like you are making DD1 miss out on a nice treat and it's " not fair" because DD2 gets to go, but remember that DD1 had lots of nice treats when she was 4 too.

Well I don't think a day off for a treat ONCE is that bad worra...shit off shovels notwithstanding.

It's not quite just because of the birthday...its more of a "you've not been well and you're down because of a couple of things AND it's your birthday visit"

hmm. I want to know what other people DO when their DC get tummy bugs. our school is big on the 24 hour rule. That's 2 days off right there.

YABU I wouldn't do this and agree with those who say that their Mum/MIL would be unimpressed too. Your DD should be at school and it is important.

Would your Mum come to you on the train for the day? That way she could see Dd1 after school.

Why are you bringing tummy bugs into it?

Obviously if your kids are too ill to go to school then you keep them off

Another reason why you should send them if they're well really.

How long does it take, could you not go after school?

worra as a way of deciding whether people are being honest about 4 or 5 days off being a lot really. I mean...I know what you ssay about not knowing whether she might be unwell next week and need more time off...but I want to know how 4 or 5 days off is a lot...when 7 year olds get sick quite often.

casmama it takes about an hour...and school is miles from station.

I don't think it is a great example to set you daughter and that if your mother didn't approve of you taking days off she may feel the same about your dd even if she doesn't say it. I'm sure your dm will enjoy seeing you and dd2 so you should send dd1 to school as usual.

Sod that
very very few of the kids i teach think that, but then they tend to have good attendance. The correlation between those whose attitude towards school is very poor, and have lower than expected attainment with poor attendance is very high.

4 or 5 days off is a lot, i have 4 dcs, at this point in the school year one of them has had 2 days off, the other 3 none.