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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To keep DD off school tomorrow just because I want to take her to see my Mum?

239 replies

TheHouseOnTheCorner · 01/05/2012 22:24

She's 7 and in year three. My Mum hasn't been well but is better now...she's had a run of crap luck and her car is now off the road. It MAY be fixable or not and I know she wont be able to afford another one really. It's her birthday tomorrow (mums) and I am planning to go on the train with DD aged 4 tto visit her...take a present etc...I know Mum will like this.

I want, I have just decided to take DD1 aswell. Mainly because Mum will like this and because DD will like it. We rarely go there as I dont drive and Mum hasnt been here for about 3 weeks...not long...but it is when you're 7 and haven't seen your Gran in ages....and you're used to seeing her three times a week.

AIBU to give DD the day off and take her to see Mum instead? She's probably had about 4 or 5 days off this year through sickness.

OP posts:
theodorakis · 02/05/2012 13:42

Go, a day off school to see granny will be a lovely memory for her. School isn't that important for a 7 year old.

Floggingmolly · 02/05/2012 13:53

School isn't that important for a 7 year old. Wtf? Bet your kids will go far Hmm

HopeForTheBest · 02/05/2012 14:13

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on request of its author.

imnotmymum · 02/05/2012 14:16

One day off at 7 will not affect their educational attainment. Do some sums or something in the car, or stick on a times table tape... have a lovely day .

tantrumsandballoons · 02/05/2012 14:21

her attendance is not at 100% through illness and you want to take her to go and see her gran?
i beg you to tell the school that and see if they agree.
We have got a bank holiday coming up and a school holiday at the end of the month plus weekends, i dont see why you would take her out of school.
bit of a funny message to send to a child really, its ok to take time off school if you fancy a day out........

WhaleOilBeefHookedIWill · 02/05/2012 14:24

But shes at work at the weekend so can't- notice she wont ring her employer and say she fancies a day out so wont be coming in...funny how something only appears to be important when it pays...

Original poster
TheHouseOnTheCorner · 02/05/2012 14:32

I am self employed Whale I answer to myself...funny that! For someone who is so relaxed I DO know how to manage my time and commt myself.

She went to school and I recheduled. Happy everyone?

I decided it was too much bother and Mum was happy to leave it anyway. My other sis has gone to visit.

OP posts:
AThingInYourLife · 02/05/2012 14:58

"You don't think there is a difference between parents who do not care whether their kids go to school or receive an education of any merit, and parents who do care about their kids' education and still decide that an occasional day off school for something which they think is important and worthwhile is ok?"

IME they are the same.

Just read the thread - how many people have said missing school at 7 has no impact?

Most parents of children who miss a lot of school claim to care very much about education, but somehow seem to have it as a very low priority.

gettingeasier · 02/05/2012 15:03

OP " happy everyone ? "

Riduculous dont post in AIBU unless you prefix it with " everyone must agree with me " , you had a very even match of responses

imnotmymum · 02/05/2012 15:25

OP " happy everyone" you did ask ??

SodThat · 02/05/2012 16:13

I still think there would have been no harm done to take the day off.

ffs i just want to laugh at those who think having 100% attendance is the be all and end all.

Do you really think this childs future is in jeopardy? Will the prospective employer want to look at her school report 11 years later and say well this girl cannot have a job because she went to visit her grandmother on a school day in May 2012 ??
This means she is illiterate, and comes from a criminal background Hmm

theodorakis · 02/05/2012 16:14

So far they are doing pretty damn well thanks but it isn't the occupation of my world. One day off school is not important, many aspects of school I don't agree with anyway, especially mums who judge others

snappysnappy · 02/05/2012 16:17

Take her.
I dont think that this will be the end of your childs academic career.

Am roaring laughing at those who think this shows her school is not important - really 1 day?????

Original poster
TheHouseOnTheCorner · 02/05/2012 16:46

getting who are you? The thread police? I'll post where I want and say what I want too thanks very much! Grin

OP posts:
elizaregina · 02/05/2012 16:48

Goodness I hope some of these mums arnt going to be at our school gate when DD starts school!!!! Horrendous!!! OP i feel sorry for you that some people have been so ridiculously ott and agrresive to you!

tantrumsandballoons · 02/05/2012 17:23

The problem is people will stand and shout about law breaking that effects them personally but when they want to do something for a personal reason it's ok?
School is NOT OPTIONAL.
really it's irrelevant how much impact 1 day or 5 days or 15 days off has on your child's education, the fact is you are not allowed to take your child out of school unless it's authorized by the head.
Some people may think its a stupid rule but tbh you don't have to like it do you?
E

SodThat · 02/05/2012 17:26

AHEM - SCHOOL IS OPTIONAL

EDUCATION IS COMPULSORY

tantrumsandballoons · 02/05/2012 17:28

If you choose to send your child to school which the op has, and not home Ed then school is not optional
That's why parents who consistently keep their children off school, go on holiday etc are prosecuted.

SodThat · 02/05/2012 17:30

not many are prosecuted. And those are usually the ones who do not care about the dc, they are caught in town truanting blah blah

In this case, I don't think the OP is likely to be prosecuted do you??

imnotmymum · 02/05/2012 17:33

My mum always used to sneak me a day off and sometimes I do mine when they not ill. It is lovely to have a special day off in week and especially if seeing Granny. I achieved very nicely thank you. And consistently off school yes a problem, but a day ??

DumSpiroSpero · 02/05/2012 17:33

I'm amazed that so many people are getting hung up on the birthday aspect and overlooking the other circumstances.

My parents are only a few miles away and we both drive so see them once a week, however...

If my mum lived further afield and normally came to us several times a week but had been sufficiently ill not to make that journey for 3 weeks, taking into account her age and numerous minor to moderate health problems (I know that's me not the OP but could equally apply) - I would consider that a pretty big deal and certainly one that warranted a (rare) day off school for DD and I to visit if her recovery happened to coincide with her birthday and I wouldn't have another opportunity to see her for a further couple of weeks.

Mind you, I wouldn't be asking the opinion of Mumsnet before I made that call Grin!

tantrumsandballoons · 02/05/2012 17:36

I didn't say she was, I was making the point that once registered at a school it is not optional to attend. The principle is the same whether it's 1 day or 20, you have to ensure your children are in school every day unless they are sick or the absence is authorized by the head.

The same people who are encouraging this are the exact same people who judge schools on their ofsted report- a school will be put into special measures for having low attendance ie if everyone took their child to see gran in term time.

SodThat · 02/05/2012 17:39

To those who feel the education suffers by having a day off school every now and then, i presume you are the ones whose children only learn in school. Do you talk to them, read with them, engage with them at all????

Because funnily enough, that is education and learning too!!

Perhaps you ought to try it, because it is quite rewarding ya know, having some input into your own dc education, rather than leaving it all to the school.

imnotmymum · 02/05/2012 17:40

or the teachers decide to shut the school ! [and they are seen shopping at the local mall]. Ha ha !
Even if EVERYONE did go to see their Gran in term time one day would not effect the attendance would it ? I booked some time off for DC when parents came to visit, teacher thought it lovely to spend time with oldies !

belfaft1981 · 02/05/2012 17:43

Godd point Sod that. Only last night my dc were testing each other on capital cities in the car (with help from me). So much learning happens out of school too. When I took my dc out of school there were very young but it was a learning experience as well. Certainly learned about the geography of the country they visited.

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