to have put FIL in his place about nursery

[pointbreak]

Out of the blue he announced he thought it was a shame that DD had gone to nursery at 13 months. She goes 3 days a week, 8.30 - 4.30. She is at home with me the other two days and me, DD and DH spend the weekend as a family. She is happy as larry. He now admits it has benefited her but he didn't think that before she went. Please bear in mind MIL worked in a nursery for 12 years.

He went on to tell me that they were lucky as his wife didn't need to work when their DC were young. I pointed out that we didn't NEED me to work, but my career was important to me and just as valid's as his DS's career, so why should I give it all up. I did have PND for the first 6 months of DD's life and we all know that returning to work can help with that.

So, was IBU? What else should I have said? Or not?

I agree scottish mummy. That thread had been discussed there and it being brought here was unneeded IMO

sm check out thread where nursery workers like myself have spoken out to OFSTED, managers etc..only to be hounded out of their job...there are many of us on there

I don't dispute some staff are neglectful
I dispute it's the norm

DoorMat, I think your other thread is really great, its something across the board that needs to be looked at - the elderly are getting alot of attention at the moment and some areas of disability. I think a big problem are the bodies meant to be policing all these places, ofstead, the QCC etc....on a broader scale, and locally , it should be much easier for staff to report to someone about thier concerns, it should be encouraged.

For old peoples homes I thought about a tripadvisor feed back system? I know it would be un popular but if relatives could leave feedback you can perhaps get a true idea of whats going on? If you run a good place why would you be scared of it?

Perhaps nurseries could have the same? People are scared to speak out for many reasons, even some mums on this thread said they felt all wasnt 100% right even if there was no outright " abuse" still perhaps low standards.....but they didnt want to rock the boat.

If we could encourage a climate that people can give reviews of nurseries, that would surely buck up standards? Alot of people simply dont know where to go , who to complain to across the board for a number of things!

maybe so sm but your comment "or reflect that most who allegedly saw malpractice did not whistle blow to nursery
only to mn it seems"

like we only say things on mn because we are anonomous...as you can see this is not the case...

thx eliza x you are right there needs to be some official body..OFSTED ignore you...unions dont take us on as we earn a pittance, also agree about nursery reviews where parents can tell what it is exactly like

eliza, no one said the woman in the story was scaremongering! The OP meant that it was scaremongering to post that story to try to prove an argument on this thread, because the appalling things that happened in that case are (thankfully) very much the exception.

some one mentioned about cameras that parents can tune into when at work or home whenever they like, i also love that idea, again not just in nursiers but also old peoples homes and homes where people with disabilites live.

but most evidence gathered was by hidden camera, not known and visible equipment.most residential homes wont consent to cameras monitoring staff and clients.no one would consent to that

panorama was hidden camera , consent not obtained

in another case a nurse got struck off for using hidden camera. didn't obtain consent and panel decision was it breached confidentiality

in own home can use camera but must obtain consent of nannny
can't secretly film the nanny without her consent, it's inadmissible

But why won't these places consent to having cameras scottishmummy?

sm and eliza i worked in a nursery which was camera upped in every room and even outdoor areas...it was fantastic, best place ever...boss could see you did your job, kids were happy and it protected children and staff

camera's are the way to go

Surely though the parents who are 'scared to rock the boat' are also in the wrong to an extent. If your not happy with something and don't raise it then how can things change? I can understand why they don't, but at the same time I couldn't send Ds to a nursery if I wasn't sure about it anyway!

On the CCTV, I am in the process of moving Ds nursery and the new one has CCTV in each room linked to the office so the management can observe what is going on and so a record is there if anything where to happen.

my nursery has camera internal and external
with staff and parental consent obtained
the consent is key
can't secretly film

i agree sirzy..it is their money that is feeding their profits...

that sounds ideal sm

there should be no need to secretly film, everything out in the open

staff should feel secure they aren't being scrutinised, just letting mum or dad see what the little one is doing with their day

can I ask what you pay for your nursery, it probably isn't cheap

lol,not cheap I pay lot for staff to ignore my weans.

sm why are you so bitter and cynical ...not picking just genuinely want to know as your posts seem very harsh and angry

I know of a few nurseries in our area with cameras they are between 32 and 35 a day.

I agree Faye, the CCTV works as much to protect staff as it does the children. Its a win/win thing.

Molly, that sounds about right for what i am paying, its £33.50 for a full day, or you can have 'school day' for £27. No more than other local ones without CCTV actually.

I think one person is one person too many to be injured or serioulsy harmed, and I think all these places by law should have cameras somewhere...Yes SM i know the undercover panorama is not consent obtained, i mean generally all places should have cameras.

unbelievably someone did mention that in a place with cameras - a boy in the news (?) was flung from one side of room to another. However, I fully belive if parents could flick in and out when they wanted, and staff knew this - it would go ALONG way to making sure all was ticketyboo and i feel the same for old peoples homes and homes where people with LD live. And of course rooting out the bad and getting rid of them.

As well as encouraging peopl to speak out about bad experiences, infact why not hand parents - of all these places the clear contact details of where to go if they are not happy, make complaining clearer and easier.

doormat,let me spell out irony.I-R-O-N-Y
you see earlier on someone rearked to me about staff ignoring children
as in,they think that's what staff do,and doh parents well we either don't know or not care

so therefore I must be paying good money tipi have my weansignored

lol at passive aggressive why are you bitter and cynical
...sweetened by only saying. not picking. no siree

that's up there with ah wis only saying ....oh my god you couldnae make it up