Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To keep my son home from school trips

321 replies

victoria48 · 26/04/2012 21:18

My son is in reception and so far they have had 2 school trips with a 3rd coming up soon. Each one has been a 100 mile round trip on a coach on the motorway. I have asked each time if I can go along as a helper and have been turned down each time. I gave my son a choice of going on the trips and he said he didn't want to go. I know I could have easily pursuaded him but chose not to as I didn't think the trips were a good idea myself. The third one is coming up and I'm being pressured by his teacher to send him. Am I being unreasonable to keep him home?

OP posts:
bumbleymummy · 26/04/2012 22:51

I have plenty of confidence in looking after my own children Worra but sometimes things happen and I am glad that when they do I only have my own two to worry about and not two extras that don't belong to me.

I'm glad you have the utmost faith in yourself and your caterpillar. I hope you never have reason to regret that.

LadyBeagleEyes · 26/04/2012 22:51

I think his 'mummy' has made a good job of persuading him he doesn't want to go.
Projecting your own fears on your kids is not healthy.

bumbleymummy · 26/04/2012 22:52

All differnt ages 5madthings. Unless you are talking about octomom! Wink

Sparklingbrook · 26/04/2012 22:52

I am now thinking of stowing away in the luggage bit of the coach just in case when DS1 (12) goes to Germany. Grin

AnyFucker · 26/04/2012 22:54

Ibiza at 17 ?

I would have a problem with that !

Although I am off to Ibiza this summer, and my 16yo is coming with us Smile

Floggingmolly · 26/04/2012 22:54

He's probably saying no because he's picking up on your anxiety. The fact that you're presenting these outings as something to be wary of is very unhealthy for your son (and yourself).

What's the worst that's likely to happen? (excluding a coach accident, which is statistically very unlikely).
It wouldn't necessarily be better for your DS if you were also there either. I think it's time to learn to let go and trust the school to keep him safe.

Scholes34 · 26/04/2012 22:55

YABU to keep him back from a school trip and missing out on the opportunity to do something with school friends. However, I would question the need to take reception children so far on a day trip. Surely there must be a range of interesting things to do a little closer to home.

The school is probably congratulating itself on providing such exciting trips, but really they're being a tad unimaginative.

5madthings · 26/04/2012 22:55

some all different ages, but some have twins, triplets or 4 under 4, it is known and if anything its harder with children of different ages!

whenver there is a school trip they have to do thorough checks and a safety check list, run through different scenarios etc and its always well planned out and organised!

i just think that kids benefit from these experiences and i speak as a parents who home educated till my eldest was 9yrs old, but still went on trips organised within the home ed community, i have no qualms letting my children go on school trips, ds1 and ds2 will both be going away this summer on school trips and ds3 has been on lots of day trips, they enjoy them and even if they dont do much academic work on them/about them the days leading up to and after the trip are FULL of talk about it, so the child will be missing out on that.

WorraLiberty · 26/04/2012 22:56

I'm glad you have the utmost faith in yourself and your caterpillar. I hope you never have reason to regret that

Well I hope I never have a reason to regret crossing the road tomorrow...or touching an electrical item...or eating dinner.

But I certainly would regret my children not taking opportunities because I'm too worried about regrets Confused

bumbleymummy · 26/04/2012 22:56

Flogging - he's 4!!!! Honestly, no wonder children are growing up so quickly these days!

Aribura · 26/04/2012 22:56

Yes YABU. If not liking panto etc was the real issue, being a helper wouldn't change a thing. It's because you are scared to let go. Well I'm sorry, but you have to a little, because helicoptered kids always turn out messed up.

EverybodysSleepyEyed · 26/04/2012 22:59

I have noticed with DS (reception) that he has a real camaraderie with his friends - he has realised that there are other spheres than just our family. The school trips help to build that.

Ultimately you need to do what you feel is best but you need to figure out if your concerns are rational or not.

I too had an overprotective mother. I almost quit university after 3 months because I just wasn't ready - my wings were still partly tied.

bumbleymummy · 26/04/2012 23:00

Taking opportunities is a bit different to being forced into doing something that they don't want to do anyway.

Meh, we'll just have to agree to differ. Each to their own and all that. DS1 has had opportunities that other kids in school will have missed out on but I don't think that necessarily makes him better off just as I don't think that he is worse for to going to the zoo with a group of 30 4 year olds.

Scholes34 · 26/04/2012 23:00

I read from the OP that it's not the school trips per se, but the distances involved, which are really not necessary when trying to find something to interest reception children on a day out.

bumbleymummy · 26/04/2012 23:01

Worse off for not going to the zoo*

mumblesmum · 26/04/2012 23:01

(OK anyfucker ds was 18 when he went to Ibiza with his mates.....I can't say I was completely unconcerned......Smile)

FayeGovan · 26/04/2012 23:01

AF, you'd worry about Ibiza at 17, really??

I went round Europe myself at 18 interrailing

17/18 is all the adult you'll ever be

bruffin · 26/04/2012 23:02

I looked after 4 dcs on a school trip, its not difficult. The teachers keep an eye on the difficult ones and I got dd and her friends. I did go on a few trips because I helped out school and I had a crb.
I have more reason than most to be control freakery about trips as my cousin died on a trip with the Boys Brigade when he was 18. He drowned in a boating accident. I have never denied my children the opportunity to go on school trips whether I was there or not. My DS even does white water kayaking now.

There was only one child in dcs class that wasn't allowed to go on the reception trip to the zoo, and that was because his mum wouldn't let him go without her. I don't think he went on a trip in the infants. He missed out on some lovely trips.

quiplite · 26/04/2012 23:03

YANBU. School and school trips start unusually early in the UK, so it's natural that some parents won't want such young children going 50 miles away in a coach. I doubt it will have any longterm effects on your child either way, so do as you please. Don't overthink this one - it's just a school trip in reception. (I send mine, they've all survived thus far, but I can see where you're coming from.)

Would you even be wondering about this trip if it was happening a year later? I think saying no to your 4 or 5 year old going is one thing. Saying no at 6 or 7 is another! They really WILL notice that!

Your children will have a long list of complaints about your parenting when they've grown up, as all do. I doubt this will make the top 10 of your perceived fuck-ups.

GnomeDePlume · 26/04/2012 23:03

Joy Rides are from age 3. In reception learning to manage travel sickness will mean starting to do little things like reminding the teacher straight before the journey that he gets travel sick. The teacher/helper can then keep an eye on him, make sure he sits near the front, encourage him to nap (there will be self-interest in this as he wont then need a major clean-up).

I wouldnt be expecting a 4/5 year old to deal with it all by himself (far from it) but I would be starting to teach him simple techniques to help deal with it.

Parent needs to discuss this with the teacher if it is a genuine concern. It was for us as DD1 was travel sick from a baby and could be spectacularly sick.

CrumpettyTree · 26/04/2012 23:04

Won't he enjoy seeing the planes taking off? I would.

FayeGovan · 26/04/2012 23:05

joy rides knock out my teenager, they will make a 5 yr old too sleepy and woozy to enjoy a trip

same goes for traveleeze

and travel bands are shite

nothing worse than travel sickness, don't dismiss it, makes the trip unbearable

AnyFucker · 26/04/2012 23:06

ha! I went to benidorm with mates when I was 17

which is why my dd won't be doing that this summer, she is coming with us Grin

Floggingmolly · 26/04/2012 23:09

Bumbleymummy. Is your rather extreme over protectiveness the reason you home school?

Scholes34 · 26/04/2012 23:09

My GP always maintained it was better to just be sick, rather than have the travel sickness pills and deal with the downsides of that. Not so easy for teachers to do - perhaps they don't mind cleaning up a load of sick. A 100 mile round trip is a waste of time and fuel. Do school trips, but stay closer to home.

However, just thought, is there a bunch of London based people on here who have to travel that distance to get anywhere anyway?

Swipe left for the next trending thread