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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To keep my son home from school trips

321 replies

victoria48 · 26/04/2012 21:18

My son is in reception and so far they have had 2 school trips with a 3rd coming up soon. Each one has been a 100 mile round trip on a coach on the motorway. I have asked each time if I can go along as a helper and have been turned down each time. I gave my son a choice of going on the trips and he said he didn't want to go. I know I could have easily pursuaded him but chose not to as I didn't think the trips were a good idea myself. The third one is coming up and I'm being pressured by his teacher to send him. Am I being unreasonable to keep him home?

OP posts:
zombiegames · 27/04/2012 11:03

What bucket bruffin?
If you mean the sick bucket, you can be the sick bucket monitor.

bumbleymummy · 27/04/2012 11:06

Worra, if they don't want to go and you make them then that is forcing them to go. If they're older and just don't want to go because they think it will be boring etc the that's different. If they're young and just don't feel ready for it then that's ok. As I've pointed out several time 4/5 is still very young and in many countries children haven't even started school yet.

bruffin · 27/04/2012 11:13

"Worra, if they don't want to go and you make them then that is forcing them to go"

But the child of that age might not want to go because of fear of the unknown, they may go and love it. My dd was a bit like that, highly imaginative and was scared of things like theatre curtains, if I had to make her stay in the theatre even though she was desperately trying to get out, she absolutely loved every minute of it once the shows started.

Sirzy · 27/04/2012 11:16

If they have never been on a trip, and at that age can't really make an informed decision, how can their "I don't want to go" really be a reason not to encourage it

GnomeDePlume · 27/04/2012 11:18

OP did say that while she didnt know why he didnt want to go she did think it might be because he would rather have the day off school.

zombiegames · 27/04/2012 11:20

Or because of his own mum's anxieties. Kids aren't daft, they sense this stuff.

bumbleymummy · 27/04/2012 11:46

Maybe bruffin. But if he is allowed to decide not to go this time because he's worried about it and then hears the other children talking about it and feels like he missed out then he may find it easy the next time to decide that he does want to go.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 27/04/2012 11:49

moosemama That's a lovely post.

bruffin · 27/04/2012 11:52

But he might love it the first time once he gets on the coach with all the other excited dc, he will forget his anxieties.
I have yet to see a miserable dc on a school trip.

bumbleymummy · 27/04/2012 11:55

Maybe, maybe not. Especially if he does get travel sick. I don't think we're in a position to just assume things about other people's children. I wouldn't like people to assume things about mine.

OrmIrian · 27/04/2012 11:57

100 miles round trip isn't that far. For us it's that distance to Bristol Zoo and all mine did that trip in reception or at the latest in yr1.

of course it's entirely your choice as his parent but I would feel quite upset personally if I felt my child was missing out on something like that. A day out with school friends is an entirely different proposition to a day out with family - more daunting perhaps, but more exciting.

I suspect they didn't need you as a helper. They probably had a full quota of adults who had already been CRB-checked that the teacher had worked with before.

zombiegames · 27/04/2012 11:58

I got travel sick every coach and car trip till about 14 and still do at times. So my parents should have just stopped me going on any trips??

Kids get coack sick. Teachers are used to it and have strategies to deal with it. It really is not an excuse not to do things.

OrmIrian · 27/04/2012 11:59

I quite see that if he didn't want to go you couldn't force him, but perhaps a little encouragement would change his mind. if he picks up on your reluctance he is more likely to day no.

I can also understand the worries - but when will you be happy with this? There are going to be many trips over the school years - at some point you will need to deal with it.

Sparklingbrook · 27/04/2012 11:59

I have started a thread in Chat for anyone wanting to share school trip stories. Smile

SchoolsNightmare · 27/04/2012 12:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jellybeans · 27/04/2012 12:29

YANBU. I went on all trips with my reception age DT's. They were globally delayed and had speech problems. Luckily they needed parent helpers so i volunteered and they happily accepted. I know where you are coming from. From YR 1 upwards I didn't go, although they lost DT2 at one point Shock but he came back in one piece. You get better at these things as they get older. Now first cub camp age 7 was a hard one..

totallypearshaped · 27/04/2012 13:12

I'll step out of the mainstream opinion here and say follow your instincts.
If your DS gets travel sick and doesn't really want to go, well then keep him out of school for the day.
Be aware that he will need a few playdates to re-establish relationships with his pals.

Plenty of time for trips when he's older and more comfortable travelling.

One size does not fit all (my DD, now 7, and slightly better at travelling, used to throw up in cars, boats and buses and found trips very stressful - especially as she really felt ill all day, and absolutely dreaded the bus home). Envy

YouveCatToBeKittenMe · 27/04/2012 13:20

I remember going on a school trip. It may have been to Colchester Zoo

When I went into the petting area the goat ate my name label and I cried

I must have been about 14 7

I am still traumatised by the memory Grin

I went with DS on a Primary trip but all I remember is the teacher being very grateful that I had wipes to mop down some poor coach sick child! ewwww

I think you should let him go on the trips, he'll have some good memories of them.

stoatie · 27/04/2012 13:45

For those who say children don't remember school trips. I am near 50 than 40. Yesterday was at parents and coincidently we were chatting about the 70s (as sparked by recent programme) and somehow I got talking about school trips - how I loved the one to local sewage works (may haver been ?7 at time) and when I was 9 we got to go inside the new (enclosed) reservoir that had been built locally before it was filled with water forever.

Apparently my mum is still envious of my reservoir trip!

zombiegames · 27/04/2012 13:49

I remember at 5 going on a school trip to a park. On the way back we bumped into my mum. I was very excited to see her! Although I wonder now if she was very anxious and was following us!

ExitPursuedByABear · 27/04/2012 16:22

My first school trip was to Manchester Airport.

I had egg sandwiches.

They were lush.

Sirzy · 27/04/2012 16:23

Egg sandwiches on a day trip? I bet they smelt lovely by lunchtime!

Jinsei · 27/04/2012 16:26

I remember going on a trip to the local dump when I was about 7. It was fascinating. Confused

Jinsei · 27/04/2012 16:28

Grin @ zombie's mum stalking the school trip!

ExitPursuedByABear · 27/04/2012 16:30

Who said the sandwiches lasted until lunchtime?

Wink
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